asthenie looks at questionable movie stuff, again. part 4.
Remember this movie I cried about because it looked like I wouldn't be able to see it?
The movie is Michiel de Ruyter - its international title is Admiral - and no, it's still not playing anywhere I could reasonably watch it on the big screen, but it's out on DVD by now (not in my country though, of course)! And I managed to import a copy! From the UK! :DD
Because if you think you can easily buy Dutch DVDs in Germany you're wrong. Even though I bought a Dutch boxed set of All Creatures Great and Small in a German shop a couple of years ago (which I'm still suspecting is a bootleg somehow, because the video quality is so shoddy compared to all my other All Creatures Great and Small DVDs from various countries…).
Well, fact is, you can't buy this DVD over here, but luckily the UK has a localised version out! Which doesn't even have English audio, but that's alright, I was gonna try watching it in Dutch + subs anyway, because I am to Age of Sail fiction what teaboos are to Sherlock (although hopefully not quite as terrifying). Plus, from what I've heard it's actually a bilingual movie, i. e. English characters talk English to each other! Instead of Dutch with questionable English accents.
Haven't seen it yet, gonna watch it tomorrow. But already the DVD box is giving me so much joy. This box tries so hard to sell the movie to its domestic audience.
This is the official movie poster:
This is the front cover of my DVD:
You can see why they changed it for the UK DVD, don't you? The official art has all these Dutch people on it no one knows. So they had to superimpose Charley Dance in his role as the King of England over everyone else, even the main character, whom the movie (and many a street in the Netherlands) is named after in the original Dutch version.
They also added a subtitle in case the jingoism wasn't clear enough from the orginal international title and the ship on fire there in the background.
Still unconvinced? Let's see which actors they advertise on the cover:
At least they also list the name of the lead actor playing Michiel de Ruyter, aka the guy this movie is about. And they list him last. After Charles Dance and Rutger Hauer and … I've no idea who Barry Atsma is, but at least he was born in England, according to IMDB, so someone in the UK ought to recognise his name up there and have a squee.
Well done, graphics team.
But, uh, what's that line on the top?
What in the even…! This thing didn't even get a theatrical release over here!
The only confirmed dates for a theatrical release I can find are for the Netherlands, Belgium and maybe Ireland (?). The movie was shown in the rest of the countries listed on IMDB as part of some kind of artsy film festivals (definitely the case for Germany - otherwise I would have seen it three times by now, probably - and apparently China as well).
But then they call it a "box office smash", not a "box office smash hit"; so maybe that's a different thing? Can you smash a box office without being a hit?
So, is there anything else the front cover would like to tell us?
"Greatest battle of all time"! Sure. If you're Dutch, maybe.
I mean, I knew this was going to be Dutch jingoistic bullshit from the get-go, and yet I'm totally psyched about finally being able to watch it! Not going to lie: I'm here for the wooden warships shooting other wooden warships into broken hulks. I am not entirely above consuming thinly disguised propaganda with a thick helping of pathos, as long as I get my Age of Sail fix out of it (*shiftily eyes Lady Hamilton DVD*).
But at least it's clear now why the UK was up for a co-production, even though the British fleet gets their backsides kicked in this one. The Dutch probably approached them like this:
"Hey, would you like to help produce and distribute this movie about naval domination and empire building?"
To which the UK said: "Sure, I'm always a slut for naval domination and empire building."
And then movie magic was made.
See? It's a match made in heaven.
No one here expects a nuanced retelling of history, despite the "true story" claim. We're all here to watch stuff blow up and cheer as Admiral de Ruyter crushes the might of the British at sea, right?
Good, because the back of the DVD case is of the same opinion; that the actual history is negligible:
They don't even mention de Ruyter by name! All this blurb tells you is that the movie's got Charles Dance and Rutger Hauer and there's some "17th century Dutch admiral" involved as well somehow. Like, who cares about that guy, right? RIGHT? There are naval battles, and civil war and some swash gets buckled, and that's awesome! Because no respectable Brit knows or cares about Dutch history.
Ahem.
Also, there's a random tailfin of a whale in the corner for absolutely no reason other than it looks cool, which I love.
In fact, I love everything about this box (as you can probably tell)!
And you know what? You should buy this DVD, because not only is it recommended, it's definitely recommended. See?
And it's recommended by twitch film. It's the highest praise - that they could find in time to slap onto the label before they started printing!
I wanna marry this DVD case.
But what I'm saying is, if you missed this movie in theatres, and you don't have an easy, cheap way of obtaining DVDs from the Netherlands, you now have the option to obtain it from the UK instead, and if you've got any passing interest in the Age of Sail you probably should!
I'll report back on how I liked the actual movie by Friday, hopefully.
The movie is Michiel de Ruyter - its international title is Admiral - and no, it's still not playing anywhere I could reasonably watch it on the big screen, but it's out on DVD by now (not in my country though, of course)! And I managed to import a copy! From the UK! :DD
Because if you think you can easily buy Dutch DVDs in Germany you're wrong. Even though I bought a Dutch boxed set of All Creatures Great and Small in a German shop a couple of years ago (which I'm still suspecting is a bootleg somehow, because the video quality is so shoddy compared to all my other All Creatures Great and Small DVDs from various countries…).
Well, fact is, you can't buy this DVD over here, but luckily the UK has a localised version out! Which doesn't even have English audio, but that's alright, I was gonna try watching it in Dutch + subs anyway, because I am to Age of Sail fiction what teaboos are to Sherlock (although hopefully not quite as terrifying). Plus, from what I've heard it's actually a bilingual movie, i. e. English characters talk English to each other! Instead of Dutch with questionable English accents.
Haven't seen it yet, gonna watch it tomorrow. But already the DVD box is giving me so much joy. This box tries so hard to sell the movie to its domestic audience.
This is the official movie poster:
This is the front cover of my DVD:
You can see why they changed it for the UK DVD, don't you? The official art has all these Dutch people on it no one knows. So they had to superimpose Charley Dance in his role as the King of England over everyone else, even the main character, whom the movie (and many a street in the Netherlands) is named after in the original Dutch version.
They also added a subtitle in case the jingoism wasn't clear enough from the orginal international title and the ship on fire there in the background.
Still unconvinced? Let's see which actors they advertise on the cover:
At least they also list the name of the lead actor playing Michiel de Ruyter, aka the guy this movie is about. And they list him last. After Charles Dance and Rutger Hauer and … I've no idea who Barry Atsma is, but at least he was born in England, according to IMDB, so someone in the UK ought to recognise his name up there and have a squee.
Well done, graphics team.
But, uh, what's that line on the top?
What in the even…! This thing didn't even get a theatrical release over here!
The only confirmed dates for a theatrical release I can find are for the Netherlands, Belgium and maybe Ireland (?). The movie was shown in the rest of the countries listed on IMDB as part of some kind of artsy film festivals (definitely the case for Germany - otherwise I would have seen it three times by now, probably - and apparently China as well).
But then they call it a "box office smash", not a "box office smash hit"; so maybe that's a different thing? Can you smash a box office without being a hit?
So, is there anything else the front cover would like to tell us?
"Greatest battle of all time"! Sure. If you're Dutch, maybe.
I mean, I knew this was going to be Dutch jingoistic bullshit from the get-go, and yet I'm totally psyched about finally being able to watch it! Not going to lie: I'm here for the wooden warships shooting other wooden warships into broken hulks. I am not entirely above consuming thinly disguised propaganda with a thick helping of pathos, as long as I get my Age of Sail fix out of it (*shiftily eyes Lady Hamilton DVD*).
But at least it's clear now why the UK was up for a co-production, even though the British fleet gets their backsides kicked in this one. The Dutch probably approached them like this:
"Hey, would you like to help produce and distribute this movie about naval domination and empire building?"
To which the UK said: "Sure, I'm always a slut for naval domination and empire building."
And then movie magic was made.
See? It's a match made in heaven.
No one here expects a nuanced retelling of history, despite the "true story" claim. We're all here to watch stuff blow up and cheer as Admiral de Ruyter crushes the might of the British at sea, right?
Good, because the back of the DVD case is of the same opinion; that the actual history is negligible:
They don't even mention de Ruyter by name! All this blurb tells you is that the movie's got Charles Dance and Rutger Hauer and there's some "17th century Dutch admiral" involved as well somehow. Like, who cares about that guy, right? RIGHT? There are naval battles, and civil war and some swash gets buckled, and that's awesome! Because no respectable Brit knows or cares about Dutch history.
Ahem.
Also, there's a random tailfin of a whale in the corner for absolutely no reason other than it looks cool, which I love.
In fact, I love everything about this box (as you can probably tell)!
And you know what? You should buy this DVD, because not only is it recommended, it's definitely recommended. See?
And it's recommended by twitch film. It's the highest praise - that they could find in time to slap onto the label before they started printing!
I wanna marry this DVD case.
But what I'm saying is, if you missed this movie in theatres, and you don't have an easy, cheap way of obtaining DVDs from the Netherlands, you now have the option to obtain it from the UK instead, and if you've got any passing interest in the Age of Sail you probably should!
I'll report back on how I liked the actual movie by Friday, hopefully.