(no subject)
So today, as I'm signing Jon's birthday card and hurtling around the room like a hamster on espresso, trying to scrounge up enough coins for a decent birthday present, (Here, Jon! Happy birthday! Have this old...sock) I find a spider the size of Cincinatti. With a web like urban sprawl. And eyes as large as those absolutely fanatically irritating sodium lights that burn constantly in areas where they're almost never needed. And I kill it!
But that's not the end.
Clutching my pathetic pennies, feeling rather jaunty due to the enemy blood on my hands, I grab my car keys and swagger toward the front door. And there, hidden within the vast recesses of the doorjamb, plotting world dominion, is ANOTHER MONSTROUS SPIDER. So anyone wants me, you'll find me at my new apartment, (formerly known as 'Ross and Jon's apartment') across town. I AM NEVER SLEEPING ANOTHER NIGHT IN THIS HIDEOUS PLACE.
On the upside, the man who broke into the car I not only left running for twenty minutes but also accidentally locked myself out of outside CVS this morning was very polite. And, with the help of the godly AAA society, all that politeness was free. Joy!
But that's not the end.
Clutching my pathetic pennies, feeling rather jaunty due to the enemy blood on my hands, I grab my car keys and swagger toward the front door. And there, hidden within the vast recesses of the doorjamb, plotting world dominion, is ANOTHER MONSTROUS SPIDER. So anyone wants me, you'll find me at my new apartment, (formerly known as 'Ross and Jon's apartment') across town. I AM NEVER SLEEPING ANOTHER NIGHT IN THIS HIDEOUS PLACE.
On the upside, the man who broke into the car I not only left running for twenty minutes but also accidentally locked myself out of outside CVS this morning was very polite. And, with the help of the godly AAA society, all that politeness was free. Joy!