so you think you can tell heaven from hell, blue skies from pain?...
"we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year running over the same old ground or have we found the same old fears.wish you were here..." -pink floyd-
i think right now at this point in time...this is the most alone ive ever felt before.
i miss my friends...without them i dont feel loved at all...they were the ones that kept me happy.
all i do at options is work,cry,cut,and think.
my friends were the only ones to show me love...now what?
i dont know whats happening between me and joey(bf)...thats going to hell as well...
he is pushing me away slowly...i can feel it...i feel so unwanted constantly...all because he doesnt want to get attached to me anymore...because he leaves...not to alaska anymore but to chicago to live with his grandparents..and it wont be in june...no...now its the end of the school year.
i fucking feel like nothing.no...less then nothing.
lately all its been is me and my fucking thoughts...and thats not the best after awhile.
well to get the topic off of me...my brother got out of the hospital yesterday.he wont be going to school for a week or more.you know...when i heard why he was in the hospital...i got kinda scared...so many things could have gone wrong...so many.
my mom found a mother cat and two beautiful kittens in my backyard...my dad didnt want them to stay but because of my dieing need and love for kittens...they are so going to be mine.
im really glad they showed up.i need something in my life to love and keep me sane right now.
they look a few weeks old...so once they get older and dont need their mom anymore...im going to keep them in my room for a while.my mom says no about the room part but i dont listen anyways...she cant say no to those cute little fuzz balls...hehe...they are truely precise little things.
hmmm so thats that. just going to wait for joey to break up with me...just going to wait for the weekend so maybe i can get love from my friends ... and wait for wounds to heal...and maybe in time i can feel something real again...for now im going to go outside and see those cute lil kittens..hmmm and im going to think of names for them as well...peace.
p.s.
if anyone writes me a comment feeling sorry for me...im seriously going to be pissed.
i dont need nor want anyones pity...im just letting my friends know how im doing.
i think right now at this point in time...this is the most alone ive ever felt before.
i miss my friends...without them i dont feel loved at all...they were the ones that kept me happy.
all i do at options is work,cry,cut,and think.
my friends were the only ones to show me love...now what?
i dont know whats happening between me and joey(bf)...thats going to hell as well...
he is pushing me away slowly...i can feel it...i feel so unwanted constantly...all because he doesnt want to get attached to me anymore...because he leaves...not to alaska anymore but to chicago to live with his grandparents..and it wont be in june...no...now its the end of the school year.
i fucking feel like nothing.no...less then nothing.
lately all its been is me and my fucking thoughts...and thats not the best after awhile.
well to get the topic off of me...my brother got out of the hospital yesterday.he wont be going to school for a week or more.you know...when i heard why he was in the hospital...i got kinda scared...so many things could have gone wrong...so many.
my mom found a mother cat and two beautiful kittens in my backyard...my dad didnt want them to stay but because of my dieing need and love for kittens...they are so going to be mine.
im really glad they showed up.i need something in my life to love and keep me sane right now.
they look a few weeks old...so once they get older and dont need their mom anymore...im going to keep them in my room for a while.my mom says no about the room part but i dont listen anyways...she cant say no to those cute little fuzz balls...hehe...they are truely precise little things.
hmmm so thats that. just going to wait for joey to break up with me...just going to wait for the weekend so maybe i can get love from my friends ... and wait for wounds to heal...and maybe in time i can feel something real again...for now im going to go outside and see those cute lil kittens..hmmm and im going to think of names for them as well...peace.
p.s.
if anyone writes me a comment feeling sorry for me...im seriously going to be pissed.
i dont need nor want anyones pity...im just letting my friends know how im doing.