48-YEAR-OLD FROSTY BITCH DRUNK ON OWN EGO!
Most people who know me know that I have a deep and abiding love for Nancy Grace. I think she's one of the most important women of the century, and certainly the paragon of journalistic integrity. Nothing quite says "I'm interested in provoking insightful and fact-filled debate about current issues" than shouting your guests into submission and refusing to respond to them when they question your logic.
Tonight on Nancy Grace, the investigator extraordinaire tackles the difficult issue of parental neglect, which I'm sure she'll handle with her usual tact and respect. She starts with a case of a 28-day-old baby who was somehow microwaved to death. I wasn't really watching that segment, but I'm sure Nancy and her crack team of commentators publicly castigated the mother to the point that she killed herself while Nancy smiled tightly in the background.
The main case, though, was the, as the headline puts it, "2-MONTH-OLD BABY DRUNK ON VODKA!" Nancy, of course, is suddenly an expert on parenting, and none of her guests (parents or child psychologists as they may be) are allowed to voice an opinion contrary to her. Specifically, several of the experts she polled freely stated that many parents rub a bit of alcohol on the gums of unruly babies to calm them down, and then Nancy jumped down their throats, screaming incoherently about NEGLECT! and ABUSE! and CRIMINAL BEHAVIOUR!
However, Nancy's focal point is provided by one of her legions of loyal phone-in supporters (who are always available to, during one of Nancy's heated arguments with her guests when it's clear she's losing, call in and vouch for what a hero Nancy is). The woman on the phone (after personally thanking Nancy for being such an "angel" and "looking out for all the victims out there") questions the footage of the mother, Sarah Smith, being interviewed about her drunk baby. You see, Smith was interviewed on camera with her husband about the incident, but during the interview she never looks at the camera. The way Nancy describes the footage, you'd imagine the woman was some sort of shifty-eyed crackwhore unwilling to meet the eyes of anyone accustomed to a decent day's work. Truth be told, the interviewer was merely sitting a few feet to the right of the camera. In other words, Smith simply could not have looked at the camera during the interview without looking as though her head was screwed on at an angle. For the most part, she kept steady eye contact with the interviewer during the whole thing, and seemed genuinely concerned and upset for her child. She had a reasonable explanation for the vodka, and the benefit of the doubt from hospital staff and the police. After all, vodka doesn't smell that strongly, and if she intentionally fed her child liquor, why alert the paramedics at all?
Nancy was having none of it, though, because the woman and her husband looked lower-class and, in Nancy's own words "probably didn't have jobs and raised the baby in the backseat of a car."
Case closed!
Tonight on Nancy Grace, the investigator extraordinaire tackles the difficult issue of parental neglect, which I'm sure she'll handle with her usual tact and respect. She starts with a case of a 28-day-old baby who was somehow microwaved to death. I wasn't really watching that segment, but I'm sure Nancy and her crack team of commentators publicly castigated the mother to the point that she killed herself while Nancy smiled tightly in the background.
The main case, though, was the, as the headline puts it, "2-MONTH-OLD BABY DRUNK ON VODKA!" Nancy, of course, is suddenly an expert on parenting, and none of her guests (parents or child psychologists as they may be) are allowed to voice an opinion contrary to her. Specifically, several of the experts she polled freely stated that many parents rub a bit of alcohol on the gums of unruly babies to calm them down, and then Nancy jumped down their throats, screaming incoherently about NEGLECT! and ABUSE! and CRIMINAL BEHAVIOUR!
However, Nancy's focal point is provided by one of her legions of loyal phone-in supporters (who are always available to, during one of Nancy's heated arguments with her guests when it's clear she's losing, call in and vouch for what a hero Nancy is). The woman on the phone (after personally thanking Nancy for being such an "angel" and "looking out for all the victims out there") questions the footage of the mother, Sarah Smith, being interviewed about her drunk baby. You see, Smith was interviewed on camera with her husband about the incident, but during the interview she never looks at the camera. The way Nancy describes the footage, you'd imagine the woman was some sort of shifty-eyed crackwhore unwilling to meet the eyes of anyone accustomed to a decent day's work. Truth be told, the interviewer was merely sitting a few feet to the right of the camera. In other words, Smith simply could not have looked at the camera during the interview without looking as though her head was screwed on at an angle. For the most part, she kept steady eye contact with the interviewer during the whole thing, and seemed genuinely concerned and upset for her child. She had a reasonable explanation for the vodka, and the benefit of the doubt from hospital staff and the police. After all, vodka doesn't smell that strongly, and if she intentionally fed her child liquor, why alert the paramedics at all?
Nancy was having none of it, though, because the woman and her husband looked lower-class and, in Nancy's own words "probably didn't have jobs and raised the baby in the backseat of a car."
Case closed!