Chess thoughts: match with Z.
[Generalities of the game:]
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The inner, hidden beauty.
The beauty of possibilities and options, realized and unrealized opportunities.
The beauty of the choice and the dealing with the consequences of that choice. (The extra bonus if you can remember and reconnect it with the past later on.)
It's definitely different when looking at other people's games and then playing yourself. Your game has the emotional baggage that only you have experienced. The other matches only show you a facade. (Of course, if you are good, you can make a really good guess at the inner beauty lying behind the facade.)
Maybe it is just the time spent, the process of thinking about the different options and possibilities.
The timing is also very crucial. (The initiative can be truly essential. Half a move can decide everything.) Sometimes you are just half a move away from that perfect combination and then everything goes wrong.
[Specific details:]
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[self] The emotional bit is also curious. As much as I want to say that I don't really care what happens, I do enjoy it when I win and I do get down on myself when I loose. It takes a little time for me to adjust and absorb the idea of loosing and then distance yourself from the game. To start enjoying the game as a game, enjoying the game with no regard to scoring (just as I do volleyball or billiard now) for its beauty not as something larger than a game, with no connection to your ego.
[aside: self:] When I was winning, I was energetic about other things as well. Now that I am about to loose a pun and maybe a game, the excitement is gone, all of a sudden :)
Also, the personalities come out. I think I do tend to over-think and over analyze. Z. is more decisive and takes the obvious (dictated by the immediate situation, and for the most part the best) action -- concentrate on the weakest square, etc. And he does it comparatively swiftly. (I tend to be more crafty and keep all my options open but I also never had any formal training so usually, all this contemplation of possibilities comes to nothing. I am forced to react to Z's initiative and get into more trouble as a consequence.)
070116 What we both tend to do is find the most unconventional move and then take it. Today, when all our Queens and Rooks were tied and instead of exchanging my pawn and bishop for his Rook (which would give me initiative later on) Z. decided to move his Queen (to take that future initiative away from me) but that allowed me to dictate the pace and I attacked his middle pawn and now will be able to dictate the game for a few moves. It might be a very close game which might be decided by a timing thing!
[NB: The move to hide my black King on h7 proves crucial!!! Z. can't check me!!!]
[self:] Does feel good to have an interest.
070117 The funny thing about the game is that it seems there is always a way (for the most part). That is, no matter how much planning ahead you will do, Z. will always come up with something else... and you will always be able to respond with yet something else... But INITIATIVE seems to be key. That is, the strategy of DICTATING PACE will sooner or later prove itself... (as long as you are careful about not making mistakes).
[self] I really CAN'T MULTI-TASK. That is, I got up at 2pm, it's 7pm now, and all I have done is played the freaking game. So, much about saving time by being more productive !!!
P.S. OK, I lost the game, but I had my chances (that's the story line of every looser, I know). I wasn't really analyzing things at the very end. Still, feel fine about it. The probable lesson: Rook is stronger than Bishop+pawn in endgame.