Men Fronting With Their Wife's Cash
A little pissed off right now. I’ve finally made it to a point where someone is paying me to promote the video work of Frank Conniff (a.k.a. TV’s Frank), so 99% of the time I am ecstatic with my life. I know that may seem like a low bar for happiness, but I grew up on the work of TV’s Frank and the MST3k crew, so that someone would pay me for sending these videos around, which I’d do for free anyway, is awesome.
Anyway, the only drawback is that I work in Beverly Hills, so in the "producers" office next to me, I gotta hear him lay into his 21 year old assistant like this:
"If Mira Sorvino says she wants these shoes, and you’ve called three places and they don’t have the shoes, I’ve got two options. I can go to her trailer and say, "Mira, we don’t have the shoes, we’ve got these other shoes", and now, by the way, not she’s not coming out of her trailer without these shoes - or I can find her the shoes!"
Look, I know you’re sick, but this is important."
Here’s the thing - the guy hasn’t made a movie in years. He’s living off his wife’s cash, she’s pretty successful I hear. So she essentially pays for the guy’s office and assistant so he can play virtual reality producer all day. It’s like the holodeck in there, but without Moriarty or cowboys or fun stuff like that.
(And now, that last reference again, but punched up for most women)
It’s like when Carrie cheated on Aiden with Big. She’s living in a dream world where she thinks Big’ll change and they’ll have all these hot, steamy adventures, but it’s just a fantasy. Neither of them want real change, just the fantasy.
Anyway, hilariously, a guy I know runs his business entirely on the goodwill of his wife’s father’s rich friends. And he walks around and he acts like he owns the place, but if it wasn’t for the fact that his rich father-in-law leaned on his golf buddies, the guy’d have nothing. And now I gotta hear about he lectures people, and they have to take it, because what are they gonna do? He’s paying them.
My dad walks around like he’s king of the world, but that’s because he worked 20 different restaurant jobs just to save up for a down payment on a house he had to pretty much completely rebuild. My dad drove a taxi in NY (and it got stolen), he was a merchant marine, he was in the greek army training other greeks how to drive tanks that floated on water. If my dad wants to act like king dick of shit mountain, the least you can say is that he earned it (and the most you can say is that it’s hilarious, because my dad is really funny.)
I wonder if I’ll ever be able to make that "bootstraps" claim. My dad left home when he was 19 to join the merchant marines against his father’s wishes. My parents bought me a car when I graduated college so I could go to los angeles and take classes at Improv Olympic. Sure it was a dodge neon, but that’s a hell of a lot more than my dad got, which was kicked out of his village when the Nazi’s invaded Greece.
I gotta get more into charity fundraising. I gotta somehow give back, this is absurd. Nobody should be this lucky.