What I am doing with whoever is not your concern anymore
First of all thanks everyone for birthday wishes. My birthday this year was very quiet. I chose to be alone so it's okay. I don't feel like went out to drink or party, So I chose to stay home and laze around. lol Well I got all my costumes for Anext done. I just have to finish few little things then I will be set. For now I'm just enjoying the relaxing time that I have. Trying not to think too much, just letting things go with the flow and just enjoy small things that happened...
...until last night.
I know she probably won't read this entry. I could have post on dA so she can actually see it but I think I will pass on that since her friends thought that she was a great person. So I will just rant it out here instead.
For me after break up, I don't mind the friendship but when things end badly, it was hard for me to look at another party with such ease. It might take sometimes to get the friendship back. And if I was gernerous enough to do that. In some case, breaking up with people who I don't love, It won't take me that long to do so. More or less because I don't care about that person as much. Saying things like this sound like a bitch isn't it? But yes I won't deny that I have gone out with people who I wasn't in love with. Because sometimes it made things easier. I do like them at some points though. As for people whom I cared for and loved. Of course it would be hard for me to continued being friends. Though outside I might put on poker face when we met or acted like I don't give a crap, but inside I was breaking down and cried. I just have too much pride and I don't want another party to pity me.
And for my ex, she was a nice girl or at least when we were together. The break up wasn't pretty but I know we are probably just two different individuals. It's already been a year. So my feeling for her already subsided. But that doesn't mean I will have to tolerent any kind of bullshit coming out from her.
I knowsonteen12 's fangirls has been MISUNDERSTANDING things between me and sonteen. I already said it countless times that we are just good friends. Well maybe Closefriends. But when this coming out from my ex-girlfriend's mounth It made me even more piss off.
well if you want to know why these two topics are connected, then let me explain.
Apparently someone that know her told her after read my journals about me liking someone at the moment. Then they mistook it and thought that the person I like was sonteen. Funny as it is, sonteen was actually the first person I told about the feeling i have for that person. She even cheers me on and gave me courage to stand and fight for it.
First she was just saying happy birthday to me. then she started asking me about how I was doing. When I told her that I was doing just fine. She started to saying things like "I heard you like someone" and "But I don't think it will be any problem since you will be cosplaying alot with her" And I was like what the fuck are you talking about? >.> then she brought back that topic when we broke up again. (that I was too much into cosplay than thinking about her as a girlfriend) I don't know why would she care? I mean since she doesn't give a crap about me for a year but why now? other than that why she had to bring up that reason again? So she's still blaming me? I had the urge to just say it back to her face that it was you who want to go back with your boyfriend. But I didn't. for some reason I just told her that it wasn't sonteen. (doesn't think that she believed me though but I don't really care)
I like whoever doesn't concern her anymore. It's sonteen or not. I hope she won't bother sonteen because of it. Because if she did I will fucking flip the table. Sonteen is my good friend so if anyone bother her because of me. I won't forgive the person who drag her in. and for you information again the person i like is not sonteen. It would be easier(or not) if it was her LOL Cause she was too striaght to bend LOLOLOL >.> I don't have dem legs so she won't go gay for me AHAHA! (jkjk!)
Anyway....Hopefully we won't run into each other again at Anext. Cause It would be bad to flip at people again this year. Ruining my time last year was bad enough >.>
My internet died last night >.> so I'm sorry i disappeared before saying anything DX It's not really come back yet, is stealing neigbor's internet lol