The curse of the GOD DAMN FRIDGE, by tara lihn
Okay, picture this: It's 11:30- my mom and I have just finished watching the Alias season finale- GASP!- and We're thirsty for some water. I go to the freezer to get some ice- and it's not on. The freezer that is. SOOOO we take EVERYTHING out of the freezer. ( Did I mention my dad likes to cook meat?) And move it, all millions of pounds of the god awful animal insides to the garage freezer where there is EVEN more meat where the spur of the moment meat is kept when Kelly comes to visit. My dad likes to keep a couple of pigs and cows on hand since we all know how she eats. Anyways. My mom and I are hauling meat out to the freezer for about 30 min. Finally, we're ready for that water we've been trying to have for a good half hour. So I open the fridge to get the water out and the FRIDGE IS NO LONGER COLD. Now. for those of you who know my family intimately- our fridge is PACKED to the brim with food. ( mainly the emergency need in case Kelly shows up again and is still hungry for whatever left over food there is from the previous meal) AND its also filled with about 30 eggs that my dad uses to do his Ukrainian egg painting with. ( DONT EVEN ASK IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. we're not going there this post.) So, there is this stench coming from the fridge that is a mix of ostrich eggs, shrimp, and wilting lettuce. Now. We are at a loss. The freezer is almost full, and you can't freeze ostrich eggs. So we freeze whatever we can fit- cheese, juice, milk, ( apparently you can freeze milk?) And we are still left with an almost full fridge. Then, like a light at the end of a dark tunnel, I remember Jess's fridge that has gathered a very large layer of dust. SO mom and I, at 12:30 am, DIG out the small fridge from the depths of our garage. We bring it in the house and move it around only to find that we have no three prong outlets in the house. AT ALL. It's now 1 am- and the mini fridge is finally in it's new home back in the garage, in a corner where we found JUST ONE three prong outlet. mom and I are SHOVING whatever we can fit into a very small mini fridge, hoping that it will in fact work after almost a year and a half. And we wait. We wait some more. It's now 1:16in the morning, and finally.... we hear that sweet, sweet, sweet familiar whirring-buzzing-humming sound of the mini fridge getting its cold on. Amen for mini fridges. Thats all I have to say.