Party Party Party!!!
Well last night was a fucking blast. Shaun threw a nice little get together. although my night was a little rough considering it looked as if someone in the house was trying to get with my ex in front of my eyes. i dont know much but i know that kind of hits a soft spot. i still feel for her and i dont exactly want to give her up yet. i guess we can chalk it up to the jungle juice that Z made. it just kind of hurts to see that sort of thing. especially when the people in the house are supposed to be the people i call my friends. you would think that the person would get the idea that i am still there and if he would like to start something, DONT DO IT IN FRONT OF ME GODDAMMIT! i dont like the idea of being played, i dont like the idea of someone taking something that i love still from me, and i dont like the idea of that person moving away from me. i know we are through but i dsont want to let go yet. i didnt say anything to the male in question cause i didnt think i had the right to say anything, but i would not like to see that sort of thing happen right in front of me. i dont want to have my heart handed to me just yet. and last night i though that it was headed straight for my hand. that makes me mad. very very mad. i have a lot of things that i need to work out of my mind.i have to make some very hard decisions very soon or i may lose something very dear to me. god, why does shit like this happen fucking all the time. i just want to sleep. make that need to sleep.