AC2 Fic: Assassination Practice

[assassin_lucy]

Title: Assassination Practice
Characters: Ezio/Leonardo
Rating:T
Summary Ezio decides he needs to practice assassinations. Willing or not, Leonardo is recruited.

Comments

[yumearashi]

This made me giggle and squee! Leo's so adorably grumpy at being Ezio's test dummy!

"well, technically it was three times, but Ezio teasing him didn’t count." Haha, I cna so see Ezio doing that!

"Considering how stupid some of the guards were, he wouldn’t actually be all that surprised." Seriously! I've seen them remain utterly oblivious when their compatriots two feet away were being blatantly offed.

"It wasn’t even just from haystacks (which he had started to avoid like the plague)" *snickers*

"his beloved hat had floated away. One extremely angry lecture later, Ezio had sulked off: when Leonardo woke up the next morning, there was a new set of clothes on his windowsill, replacing the set Ezio had ruined." Nooo, not the hat! I can totally picture Leo scolding and Ezio sulking, but later buying him new clothes anyway. (I believe that perhaps should have been a semicolon, but I'm too lazy to look up the grammar ^.^;;)

"Without him it was just… lonely." Awwwww!

"But when he asked Ezio about it the assassin only shrugged, saying he felt confident enough that he didn’t need to keep harassing Leonardo anymore." Just curious, was that actually Ezio's only reason?

"How keeping them in a locked chest in his room helped Ezio, he hadn’t quite figured out yet." *sporfle*

"'Caught you,' Ezio whispered." I 100% approve of caught!Leonardo ^___^

Editorial notes:

"No matter how gentle, Ezio tried to be" excess comma

"The next two weeks were highly disrupted for Leonardo" should this be disruptive?

"Ezio was lying almost on top of them" on top of him, I believe

[assassin_lucy]

Thanks ^.^

The guards are weird with me. One minute they have the IQ of a block of wood and the next they decide I'm an assassin if I so much as blink.

Rereading it, I think you're right. Semicolon feels better, anyway.

As for Ezio's reasoning, I'm not actually sure. I was too busy being Leonardo to think about that too much. I'm thinking maybe Ezio was in the denial stage, where he's starting to notice how much time he spends with Leo, but doesn't want to admit what it means.

And this is what happens when I don't proofread properly. Well, actually it happens anyway, but it happens more often when I don't proofread. Fixing and grazie!

[yumearashi]

Heh, AI - what can you do?

*snicker, Ah, Ezio. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt!

Aww *huggles* Glad I could help!

[assassin_lucy]

I'm glad you could help too! Though I have to admit, I'm not sure on the "disrupted vs. disruptive". I wasn't sure when I wrote it, I wasn't sure when I read your correction and I'm even less sure now that I've tried to figure it out. I'm almost scared to say it, but Google has not yielded answers.

[yumearashi]

I can definitely see where you got 'disrupted'. You could do what I always do when in doubt - choose a synonym, or re-work the sentence to avoid the awkward word all together.

[assassin_lucy]

I'll work on it. But it's still going to annoy me until I figure it out. A week from now, I'll probably be on a train and suddenly shout out "IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN X" and I'll get a lot of weird looks.

[yumearashi]

*laughs* I've been known to delete entire paragraphs that were annoying me with their awkwardness ^.^;; Ganbatte!

[assassin_lucy]

I do that too, but I tend to avoid editing too much after I've decided it's finished. There's always something that annoys me, and by the time I'm done editing it looks nothing like the original piece.

[yumearashi]

Heh, everyone has their own style of editing. Me, I'm pretty merciless, even if it changes things a lot. ^.^;;;

It's posing me quite a quandary currently, in fact - I'm trying to figure out what to do about one of my AC2 pieces. A while back, just after seeing Lineage and being inspired by young!Ezio, I wrote a little ficlet imagining what it would have been like for a him to have met a young Leonardo. The problem is that I was picturing them both to be the same age, because this was before I did the math and realized there's actually a 7 year gap between them. Which might not be so bad, except that such a significant age difference totally changes the way the two of them would interact. In order for Leo to be as young as he's portrayed in the fic, Ezio would have to be far too young to be doing any of what I have him doing in the fic. And the age difference may not matter when they're both adults, but they wouldn't be interacting as equals if Ezio was 10 and Leo was 17, or if they were respectively 14 and 21 >.<

So I'm kind of stumped, because inaccuracies like that bug me a lot and normally it's something I'd correct, but in this case it's not something I can just tweak. I'd have to tear the entire story apart and basically re-write it from scratch, right from the ground up. Which I really don't want to do - in fact I really can't, because the way they interact is the whole point, and without it there's no story there to tell. I'm not really sure what to do with the bugger >.

[assassin_lucy]

Just stick the word "AU" in the summary and call it quits. Then maybe do a contrast where you do one using real ages.

[yumearashi]

*laughs ruefully* I'll probably have to >.

[assassin_lucy]

I normally avoid AU's, but if it's just something small like what you've got, it works.

[yumearashi]

Yeah, most people probably wouldn't even realize it was AU.