i dont even kno anymore/life sucks
i cant stand this anymore i kno what i did wroung already sOoo why am i still hearing about it now i kno they keep tellin me that i cant erase the past but im not tryin to erase it i jus hate how everything i doOo is brouhgt down by somethin bad i did!!!! i had a really good day today but ooOo no i cant walk up to bakin robins to c my friend kristina i cant Doo shit! u should jus lock me up in my room and never let me com out! that would actually probably b better then being stuck in this house all this time!
anyway sOoo y do they hav to tell me that im not doin somthin else up to there stanard, up to their high standards, of me no one is perfect and i sure as hell am not close! do they hav lik spies watchin me umm i was havin fun wit my friends at their concert ummm maybe if u didnt hav ppl watchin me or if u knew y i was doin it, i was makin faces at my friends to make them laugh in there choir concert cuz they were nervous and lauren and i helpped their fears go the awaay! god i hate when ppl are watchin me already and why does this lady feel it nessecary to tell my parents what i was doin, its not lik i was singin out loud wit them and it wasnt jus me i wasnt bein disrupptive, i was only lookin at my friends and i was havin fuN! sorry for once again beign the disappointment in ur god damn life! im pretty sure no one asked me to stop wat lauren and andrew adn i were doin which means we werent disrupting anyone Sooo once again thanks a lot to the lady who feels the need to tell my mom every little thing i do wrong in her eyes and get me in even more trouble and cause me even more shit to pull myself out of!! great once again its lik added drama in my life i dont need
im sOOo sick of this shit only antonietta knos what im talkin about my whole entire family thinks im a failure because what i do jus cant stay between me and my parents, oo god no the whole world has to kno when i do something wrong cuz god only knos its only Soo long before i fuck up again and its lik there waiting for me to do it!!(this is for my mom cuz i kno she reads this) i mean come on mom do u lik tellin ppl in front of my face that i messed up AGAIN! i hope it makes u feel great cuz it makes me feel lik shit! u wanna kno why i cry all the time mom its because of u and the stupid shit u put me thought while im grounded! mom why dont u be quiet and let me think about what i did wrong cuz i already kno u dont hav to make me tell a million and 6 ppl beofer i get the picture! and for once can u stop makin my good days turn into shit by tellin me somthin else i did wrong in ur eyes mom it only makes me feel lik i can never succed in ur eyyes which makes me wnana qiut and everythign i do to make u proud of me cuz u only focus on the shit taht makes u disappointed in me adn if for lik 2 weeks u wouldnt think about the shit i did wrong in my whole life u would see that im not a bad kid mom im jus a kid that is learnin about life on her own, because i dont need a lot of helpp anymore to tell me wat to do i need to firgure my life out for myself and if that means doin shit wrong mom ill realize for myself that its wrong cuz im not stupid and i kno what right and wrong is, and i dont need to b told a million times or hav it repeated every 5 seconds that i made a mistake, for once id lik to realize my mistake and figure out what to do on my own and not hav everyone in our family think im a failure, because i promise that one day ill make u Sooo proud ull tell that story of how i mad u proud and not dissapointed to all our family members adn forget this mistake i made!
i could say im sorry but i dont believe in them its dumb to say ur sorry half the time ur not and the other half u dont mean it when u say it, its jus cuz u hav nothin elseto say or u were asked to say it and what is sorry gunna prove that i didnt mean to do it? czu i kno what i was doin, doenst make it right, but i kno what i did wrong and sorry doesnt make waht i did wrong go away SooO theres no point in sayin it!!
anyway sOoo y do they hav to tell me that im not doin somthin else up to there stanard, up to their high standards, of me no one is perfect and i sure as hell am not close! do they hav lik spies watchin me umm i was havin fun wit my friends at their concert ummm maybe if u didnt hav ppl watchin me or if u knew y i was doin it, i was makin faces at my friends to make them laugh in there choir concert cuz they were nervous and lauren and i helpped their fears go the awaay! god i hate when ppl are watchin me already and why does this lady feel it nessecary to tell my parents what i was doin, its not lik i was singin out loud wit them and it wasnt jus me i wasnt bein disrupptive, i was only lookin at my friends and i was havin fuN! sorry for once again beign the disappointment in ur god damn life! im pretty sure no one asked me to stop wat lauren and andrew adn i were doin which means we werent disrupting anyone Sooo once again thanks a lot to the lady who feels the need to tell my mom every little thing i do wrong in her eyes and get me in even more trouble and cause me even more shit to pull myself out of!! great once again its lik added drama in my life i dont need
im sOOo sick of this shit only antonietta knos what im talkin about my whole entire family thinks im a failure because what i do jus cant stay between me and my parents, oo god no the whole world has to kno when i do something wrong cuz god only knos its only Soo long before i fuck up again and its lik there waiting for me to do it!!(this is for my mom cuz i kno she reads this) i mean come on mom do u lik tellin ppl in front of my face that i messed up AGAIN! i hope it makes u feel great cuz it makes me feel lik shit! u wanna kno why i cry all the time mom its because of u and the stupid shit u put me thought while im grounded! mom why dont u be quiet and let me think about what i did wrong cuz i already kno u dont hav to make me tell a million and 6 ppl beofer i get the picture! and for once can u stop makin my good days turn into shit by tellin me somthin else i did wrong in ur eyes mom it only makes me feel lik i can never succed in ur eyyes which makes me wnana qiut and everythign i do to make u proud of me cuz u only focus on the shit taht makes u disappointed in me adn if for lik 2 weeks u wouldnt think about the shit i did wrong in my whole life u would see that im not a bad kid mom im jus a kid that is learnin about life on her own, because i dont need a lot of helpp anymore to tell me wat to do i need to firgure my life out for myself and if that means doin shit wrong mom ill realize for myself that its wrong cuz im not stupid and i kno what right and wrong is, and i dont need to b told a million times or hav it repeated every 5 seconds that i made a mistake, for once id lik to realize my mistake and figure out what to do on my own and not hav everyone in our family think im a failure, because i promise that one day ill make u Sooo proud ull tell that story of how i mad u proud and not dissapointed to all our family members adn forget this mistake i made!
i could say im sorry but i dont believe in them its dumb to say ur sorry half the time ur not and the other half u dont mean it when u say it, its jus cuz u hav nothin elseto say or u were asked to say it and what is sorry gunna prove that i didnt mean to do it? czu i kno what i was doin, doenst make it right, but i kno what i did wrong and sorry doesnt make waht i did wrong go away SooO theres no point in sayin it!!