Tell me all your secrets
Do you remember the last time you stayed up all night and just talked? I do: It was two nights ago.
As we get older, my friends and I seem to have run out of things to say by the time bedtime comes around. Or maybe we're just more tired. But two nights ago, I was at a friend's house and we just weren't tired. So we talked. First about this and that, then he mustered up the courage to ask me for a female's point of view about something regarding relationships. Everything that was said that night is between the two of us, so don't expect me to spill dirty secrets. But I love it when people ask my advice about things that really matter. Love and life are my favorite topics, and somehow it's always better in the dark. I think we feel like the dark hides our faces, so we're free to reveal out hearts.
I'm not a fixer. Never was, and never will be. Because you know what? I don't want to fix anything. Sure, if a friend is hurting, I would do anything to make them feel better. But trying to "fix" the problem usually only makes it worse. In my experience, the best way to ease someone's pain is to hear them out. As was the case this time as well. I received a long, long text the next day, thanking me for my listening and input. "It really helped a lot". My friend has no one else to talk to because, as he puts it himself "the guys don't want to hear about it, they just say 'let it go'."
It changed our relationship for the better. We've been friends for years, but it feels like that conversation was the first time we really talked. I hope to have more talks like that. The last one I remember having, before this one, was with my ex. We would talk all night just because it always felt like there weren't enough hours in a day for us to say everything. And we would talk on the phone like three times every day. And yes, we still had real things to say to each other, not just fluff.
Fluff is getting more and more common in my life, and that is partly my fault. A small part is down to the fact that most of my friends are doing what my all-night-talker said: "they just say 'let it go'". I don't know if they're sick of seeing me in pain, or if they find me to be annoying. But I've stopped talking about the things that really bother me, so then it's mostly just fluff left. It's not just the negative I don't talk about, though. I bite my tongues on a lot of topics: I don't discuss politics (I have explained before why that is) and I do not discuss any form of spiritualism - which is something I'm very into at the moment. However, hanging out with a friend yesterday enabled me to talk about it, because she believes too. She said she appreciated talking to me about these things, because she knows I'm genuinely interested and I can drag out the topic indefinitely. She's been to séances before, and I think I want to tag along for the next one.
In the end, I think I'm just more of an introvert, in the sense that I like talking about the inside, rather than what's happening on the outside.
As we get older, my friends and I seem to have run out of things to say by the time bedtime comes around. Or maybe we're just more tired. But two nights ago, I was at a friend's house and we just weren't tired. So we talked. First about this and that, then he mustered up the courage to ask me for a female's point of view about something regarding relationships. Everything that was said that night is between the two of us, so don't expect me to spill dirty secrets. But I love it when people ask my advice about things that really matter. Love and life are my favorite topics, and somehow it's always better in the dark. I think we feel like the dark hides our faces, so we're free to reveal out hearts.
I'm not a fixer. Never was, and never will be. Because you know what? I don't want to fix anything. Sure, if a friend is hurting, I would do anything to make them feel better. But trying to "fix" the problem usually only makes it worse. In my experience, the best way to ease someone's pain is to hear them out. As was the case this time as well. I received a long, long text the next day, thanking me for my listening and input. "It really helped a lot". My friend has no one else to talk to because, as he puts it himself "the guys don't want to hear about it, they just say 'let it go'."
It changed our relationship for the better. We've been friends for years, but it feels like that conversation was the first time we really talked. I hope to have more talks like that. The last one I remember having, before this one, was with my ex. We would talk all night just because it always felt like there weren't enough hours in a day for us to say everything. And we would talk on the phone like three times every day. And yes, we still had real things to say to each other, not just fluff.
Fluff is getting more and more common in my life, and that is partly my fault. A small part is down to the fact that most of my friends are doing what my all-night-talker said: "they just say 'let it go'". I don't know if they're sick of seeing me in pain, or if they find me to be annoying. But I've stopped talking about the things that really bother me, so then it's mostly just fluff left. It's not just the negative I don't talk about, though. I bite my tongues on a lot of topics: I don't discuss politics (I have explained before why that is) and I do not discuss any form of spiritualism - which is something I'm very into at the moment. However, hanging out with a friend yesterday enabled me to talk about it, because she believes too. She said she appreciated talking to me about these things, because she knows I'm genuinely interested and I can drag out the topic indefinitely. She's been to séances before, and I think I want to tag along for the next one.
In the end, I think I'm just more of an introvert, in the sense that I like talking about the inside, rather than what's happening on the outside.