Moderation in all things
I am learning that the phrase "Moderation in all things" really does mean ALL things. Today is the first Sunday in almost two months where I have stayed home while my family went to church. I decided, after a lot of prayer, that I really needed to find a way to attend church if at all possible. And it's been a lot easier than I thought it would be. Not that it has been perfect, I HAVE spent plenty of time in the foyer during Sacrament meeting. But it has been possible. And it has been nice.
Two weeks after I started attending again, our Stake had a special meeting to celebrate its 50th anniversary. As it was in the interstake center and would have most of the stake there, most of whom are completely unaware of MCS or the needs of its sufferers, and since our children are still too young to be able to sit still for two hours anyway (particularly with only Daddy to help control them, since I wouldn't be able to be in there with them) we opted to stay home and watch Church movies that day. I didn't think much of it at the time. It has been a little over a month since then, if I remember right. I thought things were going well, but ...
We spent the first two weeks (12 days) of this month at my parents' house. On the 4th, the last day the Logan Temple was open before it's yearly closure for cleaning, Hubby and I got to go to the temple and do sealings with my baby brother and his wife. It was an amazing experience and cemented in my mind the need for us to attend the temple regularly, despite the risks to my health. I even managed to make it all the way through church that first Sunday, despite the fact that their ward neither knows nor cares about my medical issues. The second week, however, was much harder and I only made it through two of the three hours. It has been a week and a half since we arrived home and I have noticed a downturn in my overall health. I have spent the majority of the time with a sour stomach, sometimes a migraine as well, and just feeling generally fatigued. In addition, I have had insomnia nearly every night this week. I haven't had this much trouble with insomnia in quite a while. I have tried keeping moving, as I am trying really hard to be active so I can lose weight, but have found it singularly difficult because of the fatigue, to even be motivated. So, the end result, is that I spent the evening last night praying over whether or not I should attend church today.
I have to say, I didn't really like the answer I received. I didn't want to stay home. But I couldn't deny that I just didn't have what it took to deal with another week of church. And the idea I got from my praying and pondering last night was that things are going to continue this way -- that, the more that I force myself to be part of the outside world, the more it will be necessary for me to take a day off on occasion to recuperate. I don't like it, but I will do it.
But I will no longer allow this condition to get in the way of my attending the Temple. My brother and sister-in-law haven't missed a month of temple attendance in two years, hence their insisting on attending on July 4th. I guess I took that as a challenge. But I often forget that Temple attendance doesn't necessarily mean doing endowments every time. Endowments have their place, but sealings and other ordinances almost always involve fewer people and, therefore, a lot less risk to my health. We just need to figure out where the sealing office is in the Oakland Temple.
I am selfishly hoping that this one thing, regular Temple attendance, is all that is standing in the way of the Lord finally giving us a break and allowing Robert to get a raise and, hopefully, allowing us to live a little more comfortably. Of course, there is no guarantee of this, as I cannot see into the Lord's mind, but this isn't the first time i have had this impression, so I am really hoping it to be the case. It would certainly be nice.
Two weeks after I started attending again, our Stake had a special meeting to celebrate its 50th anniversary. As it was in the interstake center and would have most of the stake there, most of whom are completely unaware of MCS or the needs of its sufferers, and since our children are still too young to be able to sit still for two hours anyway (particularly with only Daddy to help control them, since I wouldn't be able to be in there with them) we opted to stay home and watch Church movies that day. I didn't think much of it at the time. It has been a little over a month since then, if I remember right. I thought things were going well, but ...
We spent the first two weeks (12 days) of this month at my parents' house. On the 4th, the last day the Logan Temple was open before it's yearly closure for cleaning, Hubby and I got to go to the temple and do sealings with my baby brother and his wife. It was an amazing experience and cemented in my mind the need for us to attend the temple regularly, despite the risks to my health. I even managed to make it all the way through church that first Sunday, despite the fact that their ward neither knows nor cares about my medical issues. The second week, however, was much harder and I only made it through two of the three hours. It has been a week and a half since we arrived home and I have noticed a downturn in my overall health. I have spent the majority of the time with a sour stomach, sometimes a migraine as well, and just feeling generally fatigued. In addition, I have had insomnia nearly every night this week. I haven't had this much trouble with insomnia in quite a while. I have tried keeping moving, as I am trying really hard to be active so I can lose weight, but have found it singularly difficult because of the fatigue, to even be motivated. So, the end result, is that I spent the evening last night praying over whether or not I should attend church today.
I have to say, I didn't really like the answer I received. I didn't want to stay home. But I couldn't deny that I just didn't have what it took to deal with another week of church. And the idea I got from my praying and pondering last night was that things are going to continue this way -- that, the more that I force myself to be part of the outside world, the more it will be necessary for me to take a day off on occasion to recuperate. I don't like it, but I will do it.
But I will no longer allow this condition to get in the way of my attending the Temple. My brother and sister-in-law haven't missed a month of temple attendance in two years, hence their insisting on attending on July 4th. I guess I took that as a challenge. But I often forget that Temple attendance doesn't necessarily mean doing endowments every time. Endowments have their place, but sealings and other ordinances almost always involve fewer people and, therefore, a lot less risk to my health. We just need to figure out where the sealing office is in the Oakland Temple.
I am selfishly hoping that this one thing, regular Temple attendance, is all that is standing in the way of the Lord finally giving us a break and allowing Robert to get a raise and, hopefully, allowing us to live a little more comfortably. Of course, there is no guarantee of this, as I cannot see into the Lord's mind, but this isn't the first time i have had this impression, so I am really hoping it to be the case. It would certainly be nice.