Newsflash re: Comments
I am really notoriously stubborn about comments. I refuse to post them unless I really like the comment or the person identifies themselves. I have had far too many problems with trollish comments. Well, apparently now LiveJournal lets you comment using your Facebook or Twitter accounts. And it all counts as identifying yourself! So, YAY for
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The human body was never designed to withstand the enormous volume of chemicals that it is exposed to today. I firmly believe that the day will come when everyone reacts to chemical exposure the way I to.
Ten years ago Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome were also considered quack diagnoses. Now there are prescription drugs to help control their symptoms. A quack diagnosis is nothing more than a diagnosis that is new enough that the narrow-minded and skeptical among the medical community refuse to acknowledge it.
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I don't think that you don't suffer, for clearly you do, I simply don't believe that the cause is perfume etc. I think the symptoms you display are related to an over production of glucocortisol, which is a hormone produced by the adrenal cortex in situations of stress. I would suggest that you are suffering from generalised anxiety and depression, induced by feelings of helplessness and fear of abandonment... which would be related to the fact that you have been unable to achieve the level of independance you have wished, and have been forced into dependance upon your family, and your husband. The fear arises from the fact they may not always be there...
The Asperger's means perhaps that you have a certain psychorigidity, and a desire to control your environment, something that is ultimately impossible, and brings frustration, and more stress, and hence more symptoms.
The reason I mention this is that by adressing the real issues you could improve your health and feel happier and more relaxed. If you would rather remained locked in a world where your poor health is the fault of others and you are simply a victim of their selfishness... well, that is ok, too. :)
(I live a long way away, and don't wear perfume, or use organo-phosphates)However this is the type of reasoning I hear from my alcoholics, and I have slowly learned that I can only help those who want to be helped, those who want to change. I just wanted to offer you the idea that maybe you could be free of distressing symptoms without resorting to wearing a mask and entering into conflict with people in your neighbourhood.
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I have no fears whatsoever of abandonment, I have no feelings of helplessness apart from the fact that my health hinges so delicately on the actions of others. As for being "forced into dependence upon my ... husband", There was a time in my life when I didn't think I would HAVE a husband or children at all. In fact, quite contrary to what you seem to think, I am far MORE independent now than anyone ever thought possible, myself included.
My health is a product of my environment, not solely due to the actions of others. In society today people use chemicals for everything. Clothing is made of petrochemicals these days. Cleaners are made from petrochemicals. Artificial sweeteners are made from coal tar. Then there are the perfumes, which are in EVERYTHING. I dare you to find a shampoo that does not have perfume in it. I have looked. And perfume DOES make me ill. I know because it did so long before I knew what it was that was MAKING me ill. The only thing that changed was that I was able to identify the reason for my illness. I am NOT saying that other people are at fault for my health. I am saying that these chemicals are SO pervasive in our society that spraying on extra perfumes only makes it worse. Wearing a mask around helps some, but doesn't fix the problem. It is NOT out of line to expect consideration to go both ways.
Being autistic is FAR different from being an alcoholic. And unless you have been there you can't possibly understand what my life is like. I do NOT feel sorry for myself. And as for the idea that wanting to not react to chemicals would make the problem go away, what do you think I have been trying to do for three years? Trying just that is precisely why I have been as ill as I have. I know you mean well, but you have no right to be so judgmental when you absolutely no idea whatsoever what you are talking about.
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As you rightly say, someone has to want to change before anything can happen but have you considered than wanting is not always enough when the root cause is outside someone's control. In simple terms, a physically paralyzed person might really want to walk but wishing and trying desperately hard won't make it happen.
I live with someone with AS and if it were only a question of desire I don't think he would choose to live with the restrictions.
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