10,000 B.C. Bitchfest
So Bhil and I went to see 10,000 B.C. on Friday night, mostly because it had mammoths and terror birds and sabre-toothed cats. I went knowing that Roland Emmerich, writer/producer/director for Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow, had written, produced and directed this, so I really didn't expect much in the way of historical or scientific accuracy. OK, OK, I know, it's a fantasy movie! But still, the sheer inaccuracy of the whole thing made my head explode.
OK... The story is your basic clash of cultures: 12,000 years ago, one of the last of the mammoth-hunting tribes in Northern Europe is attacked, and many of them kidnapped, by Egyptian slavers who need the workforce to build an enormous pyramid for their "god", known as the Almighty. Our Hero D'Leh's girlfriend Evolet is captured with the rest. A party of four intrepid hunters, including D'Leh, tracks the kidnappers to Egypt and unites the local tribes to free all their people. Why anybody would bother to travel weeks to the north for slaves when there are clearly able-bodied candidates next door is anybody's guess. And then there's the reveal that the Egyptians have also imported woolly mammoths as beasts of burden to haul the Winnebago-sized stone blocks up the ramps on the pyramid. Instead of using locally available, better-adapted-to-the-heat, African elephants.
Oh, my god, this one made my brain hurt. The hunters refer to a lead bull in mammoth herds, when the extant elephant species are matriarchal, and evidence suggests that mammoths were, too. Woolly mammoths died out about 11,500 years ago, except the Wrangell Island population, so I can live with the time frame on that, but periods and species are as mixed up in this film as in most of the old caveman flicks.
For instance, on the way to Egypt, they run across a flock of terror birds that are about 3 meters tall. While there were terror birds in Europe (Gastornis sp.), they topped out at 2 meters and died out about 34 million years ago. At 2.5 meters and possibly surviving until ~15,000 years ago, Titanis walleri would fit the bill pretty well, if it wasn't strictly a North American species. Once the hunters arrive in north Africa, D'Leh encounters a sabre-toothed cat that's about 2 meters at the shoulder, way bigger than any of the sabre-tooth cats, which appear to top out at approximately lion-sized (Smilodon populator, from South America, was the largest known at 1.2 meters at the shoulder and up to ~400 kg).
I really really have, long since, given up expecting any Hollywood film to be at all scientifically accurate in any regard. But the plot is lame, the dialogue stilted and cliched, and there aren't enough good critter effects to suit a CGI nut - I'm not sure it's worth seeing at the theatre.
Books: Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics, Tom Rogers
OK... The story is your basic clash of cultures: 12,000 years ago, one of the last of the mammoth-hunting tribes in Northern Europe is attacked, and many of them kidnapped, by Egyptian slavers who need the workforce to build an enormous pyramid for their "god", known as the Almighty. Our Hero D'Leh's girlfriend Evolet is captured with the rest. A party of four intrepid hunters, including D'Leh, tracks the kidnappers to Egypt and unites the local tribes to free all their people. Why anybody would bother to travel weeks to the north for slaves when there are clearly able-bodied candidates next door is anybody's guess. And then there's the reveal that the Egyptians have also imported woolly mammoths as beasts of burden to haul the Winnebago-sized stone blocks up the ramps on the pyramid. Instead of using locally available, better-adapted-to-the-heat, African elephants.
Oh, my god, this one made my brain hurt. The hunters refer to a lead bull in mammoth herds, when the extant elephant species are matriarchal, and evidence suggests that mammoths were, too. Woolly mammoths died out about 11,500 years ago, except the Wrangell Island population, so I can live with the time frame on that, but periods and species are as mixed up in this film as in most of the old caveman flicks.
For instance, on the way to Egypt, they run across a flock of terror birds that are about 3 meters tall. While there were terror birds in Europe (Gastornis sp.), they topped out at 2 meters and died out about 34 million years ago. At 2.5 meters and possibly surviving until ~15,000 years ago, Titanis walleri would fit the bill pretty well, if it wasn't strictly a North American species. Once the hunters arrive in north Africa, D'Leh encounters a sabre-toothed cat that's about 2 meters at the shoulder, way bigger than any of the sabre-tooth cats, which appear to top out at approximately lion-sized (Smilodon populator, from South America, was the largest known at 1.2 meters at the shoulder and up to ~400 kg).
I really really have, long since, given up expecting any Hollywood film to be at all scientifically accurate in any regard. But the plot is lame, the dialogue stilted and cliched, and there aren't enough good critter effects to suit a CGI nut - I'm not sure it's worth seeing at the theatre.
Books: Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics, Tom Rogers