(no subject)
I saw my uncle Larry today. for the first time in 2 years. He is such a big part of my life. I saw him today in his wheelchair, I had no idea he had an "accident".. My mom told me not to stare or start crying or anything, and I asked her "why?" as we were walking in... and the i saw him, sitting there in his wheelchair pretty much deprived of all life, movement, or freedom. sure he can still move his head, hands, arms and neck, but other then that, he just sat there. i ran over to him and hugged him and didn't want to let go as he was hugging me back. i started crying. seeing the man who taught me how to play baseball.. taught my dad how to play baseball.. taught all my cousins to love the game, and he was the man who encouraged me to get back in and practiced with me for hours on end, til i got back in the spirit. now he sits there. not able to do anything sports involved anymore, not able to do anything except be there and watch people take pity for him. you have no idea how much someone means to you, til that one split second when you realize you'll never have it again. i fucking miss it. i wish it never happened. i wish that i could go back in time and save him from the accident. i wish i could have said, "i play for you lar-bo." after i had hit my last homerun i ever hit in a uniform at shedd. came to every one of my games, sick or not. he was there. always. no matter what. no kids of his own, he treated me like a son. trips to the batting cages while it's pouring rain out, everything. and i could not be more grateful for everything he's done in my life, i love you.