NO MORE MOVING!!!!!
I don't care if I ever move anything ever again... even though I'm planning to get out of Canyon in December/January. I had a total meltdown Thursday night because my mom is moving (today, actually), all my stuff was disorganized and in boxes, and Sean going to Iraq within the next few months. I mean BAD... I didn't quit crying hardly for about 5 hours except for about 30 minutes to appease my mom by eating something. I know I'm emotional naturally, and PMS wasn't helping, but that is NOT normal... I have my first counseling session at 9 this morning, and I need it!
That brings up another point: I love this journal because I talk about things in here that I never mention to even my closest friends-because I don't necessarily want the people around me knowing that I'm not the happy, well-adjusted person they all think I am. I mean, I am like that sometimes, but other crap gets in the way-especially when I'm alone or tired. I want the fake side that I show in public to be the real me, not this deep dark place I'm really in. I guess I feel like I can be real on LJ because I don't really know anyone that reads my journal in person, and anyone who gets tired of my dark world can delete me... The one person I do know is one of my best friends in the world, the kind that you have very few of in a lifetime, and I trust him not to judge me... and I know he's been where I am. I just have a lot of things I need to work through that I thought I was past... turns out I was doing a good fake job on myself too.
My apartment is now coming together nicely, and I love being on my own and downstairs... no climbing all the time! It's kind of a hodge-podge of colors and patterns, like most college students, I'm using hand-me-downs and randomness. I like it though, and in a couple of weeks I'm going to buy a washer and dryer (with graduation/birthday help from mom) and never have to save quarters again!!!!!!
New university is on the radar: University of North Texas. Program looks really good, and is the current home of "International Studies Quarterly," one of the premier international journals. It's also cheaper than UofH by about $1300/semester in fees. They also offer money to attend conferences and such, which would be great. The American Political Science Association is having its big annual conference in DC in September, and with help I would soooo be there! I can't afford it, even though financial aid did pull through with a couple of loans!
I'm rambling, and I'm sure I'll be on here tomorrow morning... have a good day!
That brings up another point: I love this journal because I talk about things in here that I never mention to even my closest friends-because I don't necessarily want the people around me knowing that I'm not the happy, well-adjusted person they all think I am. I mean, I am like that sometimes, but other crap gets in the way-especially when I'm alone or tired. I want the fake side that I show in public to be the real me, not this deep dark place I'm really in. I guess I feel like I can be real on LJ because I don't really know anyone that reads my journal in person, and anyone who gets tired of my dark world can delete me... The one person I do know is one of my best friends in the world, the kind that you have very few of in a lifetime, and I trust him not to judge me... and I know he's been where I am. I just have a lot of things I need to work through that I thought I was past... turns out I was doing a good fake job on myself too.
My apartment is now coming together nicely, and I love being on my own and downstairs... no climbing all the time! It's kind of a hodge-podge of colors and patterns, like most college students, I'm using hand-me-downs and randomness. I like it though, and in a couple of weeks I'm going to buy a washer and dryer (with graduation/birthday help from mom) and never have to save quarters again!!!!!!
New university is on the radar: University of North Texas. Program looks really good, and is the current home of "International Studies Quarterly," one of the premier international journals. It's also cheaper than UofH by about $1300/semester in fees. They also offer money to attend conferences and such, which would be great. The American Political Science Association is having its big annual conference in DC in September, and with help I would soooo be there! I can't afford it, even though financial aid did pull through with a couple of loans!
I'm rambling, and I'm sure I'll be on here tomorrow morning... have a good day!