The Family Unit
I came across this term the other day online, and it brought back memories. My family took lots of drives, and everyone had to come along. I would bring several books and read. This is no different than what I ever did, but it seemed to enrage my father particularly in the car. He'd roar into the back of the car at me: We are a family unit! and then would go on and on about how I was a part of it whether I liked it or not, blah, blah, blah.
It always seemed like we were something like the borg from star trek, this family unit thing that I never did feel part of or have any conception of how to be part of. But I still remember him yelling at me whenever we were out on those drives.
They accused me of escaping into books and told me my speech problems were put on deliberately as an act. Reading was my way of learning about the world. I found mentors in certain authors who helped me grow up and learn to be a man in this world. It was a lifeline, and still is. And yes, I still have speech impediments.
I stopped even communicating by telephone with them as they kept yelling at me and demanding visits for holidays. I couldn't deal with the anger and fighting, it's not in my nature. I don't enjoy holiday gatherings and never have.
This is considered cold and unfeeling, I'm sure, but I can't really change what I am -- nor do I want to. The last few social family gatherings I went to, I was livid by the time I left and ready to throttle the world. Just can't do the family unit thing. Maybe it's something you're born with, a factory imprint that binds you with your kin, and maybe some people are passed up for the imprinting.
I'm glad I'm not part of the family unit. I like being an individual.
It always seemed like we were something like the borg from star trek, this family unit thing that I never did feel part of or have any conception of how to be part of. But I still remember him yelling at me whenever we were out on those drives.
They accused me of escaping into books and told me my speech problems were put on deliberately as an act. Reading was my way of learning about the world. I found mentors in certain authors who helped me grow up and learn to be a man in this world. It was a lifeline, and still is. And yes, I still have speech impediments.
I stopped even communicating by telephone with them as they kept yelling at me and demanding visits for holidays. I couldn't deal with the anger and fighting, it's not in my nature. I don't enjoy holiday gatherings and never have.
This is considered cold and unfeeling, I'm sure, but I can't really change what I am -- nor do I want to. The last few social family gatherings I went to, I was livid by the time I left and ready to throttle the world. Just can't do the family unit thing. Maybe it's something you're born with, a factory imprint that binds you with your kin, and maybe some people are passed up for the imprinting.
I'm glad I'm not part of the family unit. I like being an individual.