Maintaining a false front in an intimate relationship, even in a friendship, is a strategy doomed to failure. It's too strenuous. Everyone who tries it has to stop eventually, and the truth becomes apparent. If you're grumpy by nature, the effort of maintaining the false front will make you even more grumpy. Relax and be yourself. If it drives your lover away, so be it: the relationship wouldn't have lasted anyway. There are people, including suitable lovers, who will like you as you are. You can explain yourself or not, as you like. Explaining yourself might be a good way of making the transition from the false front to a more natural and honest presentation.
Your vagina is part of you. What I just wrote applies there too. If you have the sort of style you described, I can easily imagine that you might ask him about his subjective impression of your vagina in a defensive manner that gives him the feeling that you want to argue about it. That wouldn't be a good idea. The state of your vagina is a matter of fact, and that's the way to approach it. Defensiveness in general will tend to drive people away, regardless of the subject matter.
Your vagina is part of you. What I just wrote applies there too. If you have the sort of style you described, I can easily imagine that you might ask him about his subjective impression of your vagina in a defensive manner that gives him the feeling that you want to argue about it. That wouldn't be a good idea. The state of your vagina is a matter of fact, and that's the way to approach it. Defensiveness in general will tend to drive people away, regardless of the subject matter.
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best,
Joel
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