things I'm not saying to my roommate

Jan 23, 2009 14:19

SHIT. I need routines, okay? This isn't the worst thing ever. It's hard for me to talk about because it's hard for me to demand that things that aren't normal be respected ( Read more... )

roommates, addiction, driving, aspie to nt misunderstanding, username: ar - az

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errantpenny January 23 2009, 20:58:49 UTC
Arrgh! I hate this kind of thing, too! I can't understand why some people can't do something at the time they agreed to do it! This drove me crazy with my ex-boyfriend ( ... )

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aslanscountry January 23 2009, 21:10:54 UTC
That sound so annoying! I try really hard to assume that other people are doing the correct thing, because I know they have better natural social skills and empathy than I do--but then they seem to do completely selfish things and not even THINK about it. whereas I'd at least think about it and feel bad.

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aslanscountry January 23 2009, 21:11:19 UTC
*sounds

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errantpenny January 25 2009, 00:46:59 UTC
I try really hard to assume that other people are doing the correct thing, because I know they have better natural social skills and empathy than I do--but then they seem to do completely selfish things and not even THINK about it. whereas I'd at least think about it and feel bad.

I think your last words in this quote show that you do have empathy, probably more than most people. I'm one of the most empathetic people I know. However, I may not always show that empathy in a way that clearly conveys it. I believe it's a myth that autistic people lack empathy.

I was really struck by comments in another post about a difference in NT and autistic communication styles. If someone tells me a story about something upsetting that happened to them, I may respond with a similar story, by which I mean to prove that I know where the other person is coming from and I can empathize. However, I'm learning that this can often be seen as being self-involved and switching the focus away from the first person.

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kisekileia January 24 2009, 00:44:13 UTC
I don't have the ability to budget time, or coordinate my actions with the passing of time, to get things done at the time I agreed to do them. It's not an intentional thing, or even something I can control. It's just a really annoying result of my ADHD/AS combination.

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errantpenny January 25 2009, 00:39:35 UTC
I realize that I made a blanket condemnation of people who don't honor appointments, and I think I should clarify my feelings. Your comment actually made me think about this a little bit more ( ... )

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kisekileia January 25 2009, 03:33:31 UTC
I think it's true, people do feel a need to say yes and to give a specific date and time. I definitely do that sometimes when I shouldn't. Other times, I really think I can do something at X date and time, but don't realize until I fail to do so that I can't--either because something I didn't expect has happened, or because my expectations of myself weren't realistic.

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