hrmm if I am going to post here I better introduce myself...
hrmm if I am going to post here I better introduce myself... I'm 25 I went to college in 2001 (first time living on my own)... I took oh maybe a half-dozen different medications and saw various mental health professionals... I failed a ridiculous number of classes by not going to them... I had terrible insomnia and panic attacks and what i was calling at the time 'paranoia' ... since oh... i think 2002 I've been taking seroquel to help me sleep... the psychriatrists i had in 2002-2003 was the only one i really ever thought was helpful... she wasn't really the nicest person but booooy did she have balls ... she'd diagnose me give me pills claim they weren't helping claim they were helping.... claim i was able to focus and ramble less when explaining my life to her etc... basically she had opinions and the other 4 psychriatrists i have seen have never had an opinion on anything ever.
then as a result of only ever going to the first month of any class I had to change schools (don't worry I got a degree finally in 2006)... since then i've seen two different psychriatrists and neither has had a clue... they just agree with whatever i say.... I'm not sure if really high doses of seroquel made me more able to be normal... but I was fairly sure I was addicted to it in a negitive way despite professional claims it wasn't an addictive substance... as a result I either demanded to be weened off the medicine or demanded to have my dosage doubled ... oh every 6months....
from 2007summer-2008spring I had my first serious girlfriend... she was older than me by a good bit and I suppose fairly mature about things... it was absolutely terrible for her that I didn't understand anything at all about intimacy or people who had emotions that were different from mine... (I get angry when people smile at me because I am confused and frustrated that I don't know what is going on) basically to me friendship is measured in reliability and loyalty... and all my close friends I made before the age of 8 and just fiercly held onto and the only friends I've really been able to get close to since then are friends that one of my elementary school friends made for me...anyways... she helped me figure out that maybe I have asperger's syndrome... as a result I looked it up on webmd... realized that all the symptoms were written for children and that I had all of them then and still do... spoke to my pyschristist who then said "yeah sure that sounds reasonable.... but since the only course of action is to treat whatever problems you complain of specifically one by one there isn't really any point in being diagnosed or not diagnosed with asperger's but i agree you probably have it...."
it's pretty frustrating to feel like I live in another world than everyone else, or that i can't communicate with anyone, or that no one ever understands anything I say ... the only person I ever knew who was at all similar to me was probably my one aunt... I don't think she has asperger's but she might... but she does lack intution and common sense in a comforting way..
anyways I guess i looked up an online community about asperger's because I thought maybe i'd feel comforted to know that my universe has population greater than one... of course I don't actually believe any of you live in my universe but then it's at least comforting to know other people get locked away in the wrong universe the same way I have been....
uhm I generally don't like to dwell on my thoughts and as a result I hate writting so this little speech wasn't really written so much as spoken with my mouth shut and then edited only for spelling errors not content
then as a result of only ever going to the first month of any class I had to change schools (don't worry I got a degree finally in 2006)... since then i've seen two different psychriatrists and neither has had a clue... they just agree with whatever i say.... I'm not sure if really high doses of seroquel made me more able to be normal... but I was fairly sure I was addicted to it in a negitive way despite professional claims it wasn't an addictive substance... as a result I either demanded to be weened off the medicine or demanded to have my dosage doubled ... oh every 6months....
from 2007summer-2008spring I had my first serious girlfriend... she was older than me by a good bit and I suppose fairly mature about things... it was absolutely terrible for her that I didn't understand anything at all about intimacy or people who had emotions that were different from mine... (I get angry when people smile at me because I am confused and frustrated that I don't know what is going on) basically to me friendship is measured in reliability and loyalty... and all my close friends I made before the age of 8 and just fiercly held onto and the only friends I've really been able to get close to since then are friends that one of my elementary school friends made for me...anyways... she helped me figure out that maybe I have asperger's syndrome... as a result I looked it up on webmd... realized that all the symptoms were written for children and that I had all of them then and still do... spoke to my pyschristist who then said "yeah sure that sounds reasonable.... but since the only course of action is to treat whatever problems you complain of specifically one by one there isn't really any point in being diagnosed or not diagnosed with asperger's but i agree you probably have it...."
it's pretty frustrating to feel like I live in another world than everyone else, or that i can't communicate with anyone, or that no one ever understands anything I say ... the only person I ever knew who was at all similar to me was probably my one aunt... I don't think she has asperger's but she might... but she does lack intution and common sense in a comforting way..
anyways I guess i looked up an online community about asperger's because I thought maybe i'd feel comforted to know that my universe has population greater than one... of course I don't actually believe any of you live in my universe but then it's at least comforting to know other people get locked away in the wrong universe the same way I have been....
uhm I generally don't like to dwell on my thoughts and as a result I hate writting so this little speech wasn't really written so much as spoken with my mouth shut and then edited only for spelling errors not content