Wake up call...
Hey everyone its been a long time since my last entry. Im not going to bore you with all the details since the last time because if you are at all part of my life im sure that you have heard me talk about it. If not feel free to IM or cell :) The real reason for this entry and for most is emotions brought on by the one and only Greg. Greg and I have had our ups and downs... goods and bads just like most couples. The only thing different about us is that no matter how bad it gets, we will always come around and forgive eachother. He has been such a huge part of my life and I have only known him for a little less than a year. In that time he has shared so much with me and helped to shape me as a person. The most recent status of our relationship is currently "Best friends." I love this concept because it basically eliminated the one thing that both of us had a hard time with... Jealousy. Tonight I was expecting to go and hang out with Greg just like old times... On the phone he said "yea we are just over here watching..." and I just assumed he ment his dad. I get there and "we" was not what I expected. He was downstairs on the couch with his head on Rickys lap. Who is Ricky you might ask? Ricky is our server from Fridays that Greg has had a crush on for a while. Ricky is a great guy and I dont have anything against him. Ricky and Greg are hungry so I offer to drive us all to Olive Garden. While there, I can sense something is different because I felt like a third wheel right away. Me having no nicotine in my system because I am trying to quit smoking... Got very pissy very fast. As soon as dinner was over I sped back to Gregs house and basically blew them off. After calming down with the help of my roomie Brian on the phone... I called greg again and told him I wanted to go hot tubbing with them that night. I went over there and the three of us sat in the tub and talked and then Greg pulled a "piddidle" (Spelling?) on Ricky which ment his bathing suit (boxers) had to come off. Well Ricky decided to do the same to Greg... Which left me. Greg being the smart ass he is pulled one on me and so I heasatantly took off mine. So now the 3 of us were naked in the hot tub... And I still felt like i wasnt welcome. I offered to go get the towels that greg forgot in the house and when I came back outside... there was Greg and Ricky going at it in the hot tub. So I was like "mmkay..." and walked back in the house to give them some time. I got dressed and then decided it was time to break it up so I went outside and gave the towels to them and went back inside. After they got changed I drove Greg and Ricky to Rickys house. On the way home I finnaly had to ask "Are you and Ricky official or something" and Greg says "yes" as if its no big deal. Mind you I just had to sit through a dinner with them and then naked in a hot tub with them. After mucho bitching at him for not telling me I finally just accepted it like I should have all along. I think I was caught more off guard by the fact that he wouldnt have told me once it happened than being upset that he was seeing someone. We talked parked in my car in his driveway for about 20 minutes about stuff that will remain confidential and then I drove home. I am so confused about how I feel now. Before if we wanted to mess around... it was fine. Now thats not going to be happening obviously. And now when I come home I have to compete with someone else for his attention. Greg is one of the few reasons that I come home. He makes me happy when im mad at everyone else. Even when im mad at him, id rather be with him than being mad at him alone. Something about his presence makes me feel like im actually loved for me. I hope this makes sense... if it doesnt to you, it does to me and thats all I wanted. I needed to get it all out so I could look back over it to analyze how I am feeling. And I have decided that I am really happy for him even if I am a little sad that I wasnt one of the first people to know about this. What are best friends for? Thats right... big news in your life! Anywho... Its bed time. Hope my story didnt bore you too much!