Now that feels better.
Sometimes I wonder about the people from my past. I'm young obviously so the past has only but so much passed by.. Either way.. I think about the things I indulged in and with whom I did the indulging..
How is it that people can do damage that is beyond repair: and i'm not talking about calling a name or dating an ex, I mean irreparable damage; and then trying to contact the damaged person with such crap that is intended to make that person feel bad or guilty?? Do people really block out things that they do to the point that they convince themselves of another truth?? Facetious really but still. It's one of those questions repeated constantly.
And others.. spending an entire relationship telling lies that go so deep you believe them. THEN making statements about their "current engagement" that are so far from the truth is hurts, to make someone "jealous". What does that say about your true opinion? You don't have one because you'd eventually end up making it up.
This isn't even an entry out of emotion, just general curiosity for those who are so fucked up... so they fool themselves into so called normalcy.
I'll be honest, you had me fooled. I always had a feeling, and I mean ALWAYS, but I fell for it, or just chose to ignore it due to security? Truth is there was an extreme lack of security..
So THATS why I was out until 2, 3 and 4 in the morning with someone else. Just to put it out there. I wasn't stupid toward the end.. just apathetic? Confused? Slightly unsure?
The obvious "flip-shit" was necessary.. it had been over a year.. so there was some loss. But the sporadic emotion was not love and devotion for you at all, moreso relief and a tiny tiny.. TINY bit of guilt. But I will NEVER feel guilty for doing what is right and best for me, especially under the circumstances.
SO.. for the two of you in which this is directed.. I would not be where I am today without you, or with you. Had the two of you not been there to be so twisted and sick, and to do so much damage to not only me, but the others around you.. I would not be so strong. I am absolutely amazing right now. I am happier and more independent than i've ever been in my life: two great jobs, in college with pretty damn good grades, and an amazing man who does anything but LIE (Not all of us can be honest 100% of the time, so if that last statement confuses you, I understand: ever heard of testing the waters?). You'll probably never see this, but I hope you do. I hope the unhealthy addiction to it draws you in at some point and that you see this. And with everything I have inside of me, I truly hope you're miserable inside of your own heads, and that one day you get help: and DON'T lie about it.
Nice.
How is it that people can do damage that is beyond repair: and i'm not talking about calling a name or dating an ex, I mean irreparable damage; and then trying to contact the damaged person with such crap that is intended to make that person feel bad or guilty?? Do people really block out things that they do to the point that they convince themselves of another truth?? Facetious really but still. It's one of those questions repeated constantly.
And others.. spending an entire relationship telling lies that go so deep you believe them. THEN making statements about their "current engagement" that are so far from the truth is hurts, to make someone "jealous". What does that say about your true opinion? You don't have one because you'd eventually end up making it up.
This isn't even an entry out of emotion, just general curiosity for those who are so fucked up... so they fool themselves into so called normalcy.
I'll be honest, you had me fooled. I always had a feeling, and I mean ALWAYS, but I fell for it, or just chose to ignore it due to security? Truth is there was an extreme lack of security..
So THATS why I was out until 2, 3 and 4 in the morning with someone else. Just to put it out there. I wasn't stupid toward the end.. just apathetic? Confused? Slightly unsure?
The obvious "flip-shit" was necessary.. it had been over a year.. so there was some loss. But the sporadic emotion was not love and devotion for you at all, moreso relief and a tiny tiny.. TINY bit of guilt. But I will NEVER feel guilty for doing what is right and best for me, especially under the circumstances.
SO.. for the two of you in which this is directed.. I would not be where I am today without you, or with you. Had the two of you not been there to be so twisted and sick, and to do so much damage to not only me, but the others around you.. I would not be so strong. I am absolutely amazing right now. I am happier and more independent than i've ever been in my life: two great jobs, in college with pretty damn good grades, and an amazing man who does anything but LIE (Not all of us can be honest 100% of the time, so if that last statement confuses you, I understand: ever heard of testing the waters?). You'll probably never see this, but I hope you do. I hope the unhealthy addiction to it draws you in at some point and that you see this. And with everything I have inside of me, I truly hope you're miserable inside of your own heads, and that one day you get help: and DON'T lie about it.
Nice.