a Transition of my thoughts....
Maybe i was a little too hard on him....
I blew up on a friend last night when he started telling me about bullshit that honestly doesn't matter.
I said some things i never thought would come out of my mouth....
"take a look at the big picture, you civilians don't understand how fucking easy you have it. you have so many opportunities... go to school, wear name brand clothing so your materialistic asses and look "good", you can drive or walk around your town and not worry about some fucking insurgent threatening your life if you don't show them support, you dont stand in that road saluting someone who died in attempts to make a shitty country into gold"
i thought i was a little rough.. but i meant every word i said. And it wasn;t directed towards him... it was just out of anger in general. I didn't mean anything like anyone who isn't in the military is a shit bag, nor did i say no one over there understands. But i did... No one really does undertand how a soldier, no matter what job they do, feels when they go through unless they've done it. Granted, yeah im all safe and sound here, and my 11B (infantry) friends are going to be in far more danger. But we all share the common "ive been there".
It actually scares me a little when i think about myself and the thoughts that go through my head. Again i say, I've Changed.
the transition of my thoughts:
What was:
"that chick is such an asshole. meh i dont feel like going to class today. I need to buy that shirt its so pretty, im going to the beach"
What is:
"I need to find this fucker so he can't kill any more people. Those bastards burned that school. Here Samin, take my new shirts, you need them more than i do. I hope i make a difference at work today"
a major difference.... and im scared..... i dont know if it's good or bad.
I blew up on a friend last night when he started telling me about bullshit that honestly doesn't matter.
I said some things i never thought would come out of my mouth....
"take a look at the big picture, you civilians don't understand how fucking easy you have it. you have so many opportunities... go to school, wear name brand clothing so your materialistic asses and look "good", you can drive or walk around your town and not worry about some fucking insurgent threatening your life if you don't show them support, you dont stand in that road saluting someone who died in attempts to make a shitty country into gold"
i thought i was a little rough.. but i meant every word i said. And it wasn;t directed towards him... it was just out of anger in general. I didn't mean anything like anyone who isn't in the military is a shit bag, nor did i say no one over there understands. But i did... No one really does undertand how a soldier, no matter what job they do, feels when they go through unless they've done it. Granted, yeah im all safe and sound here, and my 11B (infantry) friends are going to be in far more danger. But we all share the common "ive been there".
It actually scares me a little when i think about myself and the thoughts that go through my head. Again i say, I've Changed.
the transition of my thoughts:
What was:
"that chick is such an asshole. meh i dont feel like going to class today. I need to buy that shirt its so pretty, im going to the beach"
What is:
"I need to find this fucker so he can't kill any more people. Those bastards burned that school. Here Samin, take my new shirts, you need them more than i do. I hope i make a difference at work today"
a major difference.... and im scared..... i dont know if it's good or bad.