The Summer Al Tried to Live, chapter 10/10
*Wibbles* Since I've been living with these boys (at least in my head) for 10 weeks, I'm a bit emotional at ending this. Thanks to everyone who gave this a chance and stuck with it. Love you all!
Author: asnowyowl
Title: The Summer Al Began Tried to Live: Chapter 10
Pairing: Albus Severus/Scorpius
Summary: In the summer before college, Al Potter finally begins living, but can he find the courage to show his family who he really is? In this chapter: Decisions are made
Warnings: none really
Rating: This chapter: PG13 for language
Beta: bk7brokemybrain. Thanks so much for all your work on this!
Word Count: 4105
Notes: Written for week ten of the 2009 ass_carnival. And with this, it's done!
Prompts used: Person: Fred Weasley, Object: fireworks, Object: Lightning, Emotion: Anger
Previous chapters:
"Chapter 1"
"Chapter 2"
"Chapter 3"
"Chapter 4"
"Chapter 5"
"Chapter 6"
"Chapter 7"
"Chapter 8"
"Chapter 9"
The Summer Al Began Tried to Live. Chapter 10
Al wasn't sure how long he sat alone beside the road, but by the time he pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed his mom's cell phone number, the moon was high in the sky.
"Oh, Al, thank goodness. Are you all right? Where are you?"
"I'm in Bloomfield. I just… Mom, can you come get me?"
He heard his mom let out a long breath. "Of course. Tell me where you are."
Al looked up at the street sign he was sitting under. "Corner of Shady Avenue and Miller Street. Come by yourself, okay? I don't want to face dad right now."
There was a long pause. Finally, Ginny said, "Corey's here. He'd like to come with me. He's worried half sick about you."
Al curled in on himself, pulling his knees to his chest, resting his forehead on his knees. He closed his eyes and sobbed just once, a dry sob. He doubted he had any tears left. "Tell him to go home. Tell him I'm fine, but he has to go home."
"Albus…."
"Not tonight. I'll call him tomorrow."
********
Al didn't fall asleep until early morning, so when he opened his eyes at noon, he was still exhausted. He wanted to pull the covers over his head and not come out again, but he knew Corey would be waiting for his call. He'd hurt Corey enough and wouldn't add insult to injury.
He remembered weeks ago, being afraid to dial Corey's number for the first time. Rose had finally pushed him into it. Well, no matter how scared he was, he didn't have to rely on Rose any more. He tried to calm his ragged breathing as he dialed.
"Al?" Corey sounded as tired as Al felt.
"Yeah, it's me."
"Are you okay?"
Al felt like a toddler, the way his bottom lip quivered and his eyes burned. He had to take several deep breaths to loosen his throat enough to speak. "I… I don't know."
"You really scared me."
"I know. I'm sorry about that."
"Are we… you know?"
"Still together?" Al whispered. God, he was glad he couldn’t see Corey's face. It was bad enough to imagine the pain he was causing without seeing it. Again, he had to take a deep breath or two. His only hope was to say what he had to say and get off the phone before he lost control. "I don’t know. I've got to figure this all out. I'll call you when I do."
As he was hitting the End button, Al heard Corey say, "I love you, but I won't wait forever."
********
"Vince says Corey's a mess." Rose picked at a bit of lint on Al's quilt and then peered up at him cautiously.
All the women in his life had been tiptoeing around him for three days, acting like he would crumble if a stray breeze caught him just right. Maybe he would.
She chuckled softly. "Well, actually, he said Corey's trying to pretend he's okay but he's doing a lousy job of it."
"I don't want to hear this, Rose."
"But maybe you have to."
Al shook his head. "He's not the only one having a hard time."
Rose touched his arm lightly. "Yeah, but you have the power to make it better. He doesn't. You're the one who needed time. He's only staying away because you won't let him in."
Al shook away from Rose's touch. "I'm tired. I think I'll take a nap."
Rose frowned, but nodded. She switched off the light as she left the room.
********
When Al went to work, he stayed in the storeroom or kitchen, helping George pump out the confections for the French Festival while Fred watched the store. They were behind schedule because of the casino order, but they worked so well together they got everything done in time. Once in a while, George would try to talk to Al about Corey, but Al would cut him off.
When he was home, Al tried to never be alone with James. In front of their family, James was quietly angry, but the couple of times James had managed to corner Al alone, he was downright hostile.
The most recent time, Al was simply on his way to the bathroom when James darted out of his room and crowded him against the hallway wall. James shoved a finger into his chest. "Good thing you broke up with that fucking pansy." He shoved harder, causing Al to grunt in pain. "Don't you dare ever bring another guy here, got it?"
Al didn't answer. He slipped away from his brother and back to his room, the need to pee overridden by a desire for safety. It wasn't that he really cared if James hurt him. He deserved every damn bit of pain he got for the way he'd treated Corey, but he hated to give James the satisfaction of knowing he could be hurt more, and James certainly wasn't the one who should be doling out punishments.
Nights were the worst. During the seemingly endless hours until morning, Al relived all his moments with Corey. He reminisced about the first time they met, their first date, their first everything. And it hurt, like his body had been emptied of everything but pain. It hurt to know he could be so happy and then turn his back on that happiness, that he could be in love, but maybe that wasn't enough. The worst thought, by far, however, was how Corey had loved him enough to accept Al's fears, but Al had thrown that acceptance right back in his face.
It was at night when Al let the pain come. He didn't try to stop it, he didn't try to control it, he just remembered and relived and felt. The emotions were jagged and cruel, but at least the pain meant that he was still alive. He wasn't really the shadow he sometimes felt like he'd become. He usually fell asleep sometime in the early hours of morning, and when he woke, his emotions were spent and he could survive the day, grateful to be that shadow again.
Even through all of that, Al couldn't simply make a decision about Corey and himself. He couldn’t even think about the consequences of any action long enough to find resolution. He felt trapped in his own head and his own heart.
********
He felt a little better by the day of the French Festival, though he had no intentions of actually going. It was one thing to dart in and out of the Sugar Shack, or run into the grocery store for his mother, and endure the glances and whispers that followed him. It would be opening a whole new can of worms to show up at the Festival. People from all the neighboring counties came for the parade, games, rides, food, contests, and late night fireworks display. Al was afraid if he went, he'd get more attention than all the events put together. Plus, going would mean seeing Corey, and he still wasn't ready for that.
There was one obstacle he had to overcome today, regardless of whether he left the house or not. Every Weasley who lived in the area was congregating at Al's house before the parade so they could don Potter for Sheriff t-shirts and drive to the Festival together. Al's mother had decided it would be the perfect time for Al to come out to everyone (though the news was no secret, and he assumed everyone already knew).
He waited in his room, watching cars pull in, until he was sure everyone who'd be there had arrived. It would be hard enough to go through this once, never mind rehashing it for stragglers. Al was just descending the last of the stairs, when he heard Ginny say, "If anyone here isn't supportive of Al, you can leave."
Al strode into the room, not waiting to hear anyone's answer. He glanced around, taking in the faces of his closest family. Some of them looked steadily back at him, some averted their gazes.
James snorted. "Well if no one else is going to say it, I am. I'm damned well not going to support Al. He can fuck off for all I care."
Harry took a step toward James. "James, I've had enough. You'll either be kind to your brother or find somewhere else to live."
James's eyes widened, his mouth opened and then hung slack, and his face went from normal to red to white in a matter of moments. Finally, he snapped his mouth closed, sneered at his father, and said, "Uncle Bill and Aunt Fleur will let me live with them. They said they'd send me a ticket if things got too weird around here. I'll let them know you don't want me."
Harry sighed. "It's not that we don’t want you-"
"But if you're part of this family, James," Ginny interrupted her husband. "You will show respect to everyone."
James grunted. He pushed past his relatives and strode out the door. Moments later his truck's engine roared to life and tires squealed as he peeled out of the driveway and down the road.
Ginny had put up a good front when faced with James, but now she was shaking and pale, visibly upset by James's outburst. Grandma Weasley wrapped her arms around her and patted her hair. "It's okay, honey, James will come around."
Al wanted to cry, but he'd already done enough of that to last years. This time, though, he didn't want to shed tears for himself and Corey, this time he wanted to cry for all the turmoil his decision was causing. It wasn't right that his family should be torn apart because of something that really only had to do with him. "I'm sorry," he said to his mother. "I should be the one to move out. And… and I won't ever bring another guy home again. James won't have to leave, you'll see. I can live with…" his eyes searched the room. He knew anyone he'd move in with was right here. Hermione stepped forward at the same time George did, but before anything more could be said, Harry cleared his throat.
"You're not going anywhere, Al. This is your home as much as it is James's. As for bringing home dates, I fully expect to see Corey back in this house, soon." He raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest, brooking no argument.
Ginny pulled away from her mother. "What about you, mom? You're not going to give Al a hard time, are you?"
Molly Weasley harrumphed. "Why would I?"
Al let out a long breath. He scanned the rest of the room's occupants. None of his cousins shied away from his glance, but there were fewer there than should be. He caught Percy's eye. "What about you? I see the girls aren't here."
Percy shrugged. "I'm doing my best, but you can't expect miracles."
"I suppose that's enough for now," Al said, his words covering his mother's exasperated sigh.
Percy nodded. "You've always been so level-headed, so I'm sure you can understand why this," he motioned ineffectually, hands dancing for a moment in the air, as if he could grab the word he was looking for, "strangeness came as such a surprise."
The phone rang, relieving Al of the duty of answering that garbage.
Ginny took the call and after a few hushed words, hung up. "That was Charlie."
Harry chuckled. "Leave it to him to put in his two cents, even from Texas."
Al hadn't given his Uncle Charlie a thought. Out of sight, out of mind, he supposed. Or maybe it was just because Charlie was so easygoing that Al didn't expect any problems from him. After all, he'd imagined Uncle Bill's negative reaction often enough, and Bill was farther away than Charlie. But since James had mentioned he could live with Bill if there was trouble, Bill had probably known Al's secret for weeks. Real nice of him to call and talk, wasn't it? "What'd Charlie say?"
Ginny blushed. "He said to say good for you, and that he knows most of the guys on the gay rodeo circuit if you're interested."
Al barked out a laugh. It was the first time he remembered laughing since he'd left Corey at Zabini's.
With that, the tension in the room broke and everyone started talking at once. Al thought he might have been the only one who noticed Percy slip out the front door.
A half hour later and Al was alone. He'd quickly tired of the crowd, and couldn't help but yearn for those quiet times he'd spent alone with Corey. Listening to everyone chattering on about how great it was that Al was accepting his sexuality had soured his mood. What did they know about what he was going through?
As soon as he heard car doors slamming and engines firing, Al gratefully climbed the stairs and shut himself into his bedroom. After the rough nights he'd put in lately, he figured sleep would do him good, and maybe for once he could go to sleep without recreating all the drama of his life.
He had stripped off his shirt and jeans and crawled into bed, turning over to put the window at his back, when someone knocked on his bedroom door. Damn it, they were all supposed to be gone. "What?" he snarled, sitting up in bed.
Hugo stepped into the room, grinning. "You don't have to sound so mad. I'm on your side, after all."
Al slumped back down and threw an arm over his eyes. "What are you doing here? Everyone's supposed to be gone."
"I stayed back because we need to talk. You can give me a ride to the Festival after."
"In case you missed it, I'm not going."
"Yeah. You're going."
Al peered out at Hugo. God, the boy was infuriating sometimes. "Why'd your mom let you stay, anyway? She knew I wanted to be alone."
"I told her I was riding with Grandma and Grandpa. I waited outside and then hid at the perfect time so no one would notice. They won't know I'm gone until they've been at the Festival for at least five minutes, so that gives us what? About fifteen minutes to talk? See, I told you I'll make a good spy someday."
"I never doubted it." Al sat up and rested against the headboard of his bed. He knew he wouldn't get rid of Hugo by any other means than listening. "So, go ahead, tell me what you think I need to know."
"You're being really stupid." Hugo moved closer to the bed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I don't remember you ever doing something so dumb."
Al scowled. "If you're done criticizing me, you can wait downstairs. I'm sure someone will come back for you soon."
"I'm not done."
"Of course you're not."
"I'm odd." Hugo nodded as if he'd just stated that it was Saturday. "I know I'm a bit strange, you know it, heck, everyone knows it. 'That Hugo Weasley's a strange one.' I hear people say it all the time."
It seemed rude to agree, but it was the truth and Hugo didn't seem bothered by it, so Al nodded.
"Do you like me any less because I'm weird?" Hugo asked, his brow furrowing.
"Of course not. You are who you are. I probably like you more because you're different and you don't worry about what other people think."
Hugo grinned smugly.
Al rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I get your point, but it doesn't apply to me. You don't care that people are looking at you, talking about you. I care."
"Why?"
Al shrugged. He'd never thought of the why, just knew he wasn't comfortable being in the spotlight. "I don't like people noticing me."
"Corey noticed you."
"That's different. I wanted him to." Al sat up straighter and pulled his knees to his chin under the covers.
"Well, if I was with someone like Corey, I'd want people to notice I was dating a hot guy." Hugo blushed.
Al quashed a sudden spike of jealousy. He didn't really think Hugo and Corey would get together, but still, he didn't want to imagine Corey getting over him and moving on with some other guy. He'd been avoiding that thought for days, and now that he imagined it, it was like a bolt of lightning shocking him. "Corey won't wait forever, will he?"
"Of course not. If you want him, you better make a move."
"I do, you know. I really miss him." And it was true. Al knew just how empty his life was without Corey.
"Find him at the Festival and tell him."
Al's heart stuttered. "I can't do that! Not in front of everyone."
Hugo pulled his hands from his pockets and sat on the edge of Al's bed. "Do you think it'll be good enough to make up with him in private? I've been thinking about this, and if you don’t do this publicly, he's just going to keep waiting for you to melt down again. He's not going to trust your relationship unless you're willing to make up with him in public."
Al laughed. "How old are you again?"
"Physically, sixteen. Mentally, I figure at least forty." Hugo nodded seriously.
Al couldn't disagree. "I don't see why I should have to do this today. It can wait until tomorrow. I'll prove to Corey that I can handle our relationship, just not at the Festival."
Hugo sighed. He stood and strode across the room, grabbing Al's laptop. "I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice."
Al had a sinking feeling. He was pretty sure where this was going and he didn't like the direction. He shook his head. "I don't want to know."
Hugo sat next to Al. He cocked his head. "You don’t want to know what?"
"Whatever it is you're going to show me." He couldn't take his eyes off the screen. He'd avoided the Internet since the night at Zabini's, knowing any local sites, or even his own email inbox would be full of gossip.
"Suck it up," Hugo said. He opened a browser and selected YouTube from the address bar. "If you're really going to understand, then you need to see this."
"Please don't." Al wanted so badly to launch off the bed and run away, but that's the kind of thought that had gotten him into this mess, so he stayed put, swallowing hard, trying to control his breathing.
Hugo found the video he wanted and Al recognized Corey and himself at Zabini's. "Vanessa's video," he mumbled.
Al watched, a feeling of dread bleeding into his veins like ice. He saw the waitress, Janine, approach their table, Corey took Al's hand and talked and smiled. Al looked around, already appearing panicked. God, how had Corey missed the fear in Al's eyes? Even in the grainy video, Al could see it. Percy walked in, hovered over their table, and then left. Al jumped up, motioning wildly with his arms. He was talking so loudly, the camera phone caught every word. He winced as he heard himself proclaim his love and his cowardice in one horrible sentence. Then he ran. The camera stayed focused on Corey for a few torturous moments. What Al saw in Corey's face broke his heart, caused him to hate himself for hurting someone he loved. Corey looked shocked at first, then he seemed to deflate, to become small and scared. He dropped his head to his hands just as the video ended, freezing him in that moment.
"See? That's what you have to fix. You did the damage in public, now you can fix it the same way," Hugo said softly. He closed the browser and returned the computer to the desk. When he came back to the bed, he held out a hand. "Come on, it's time to go."
Al nodded as he took Hugo's hand.
********
Al glanced down at his shirt, ran a hand down the transfer. He wondered how many of the people lining the road were reading the slogan, Gay and Proud. He straightened, throwing his shoulders back. He might not feel what his shirt said, but he could damn well act like he did.
He kept his eyes averted from the faces surrounding him. It was easier to imagine they were all strangers and not his neighbors, classmates, and maybe even a friend or two. He walked close to Hugo, not touching him, but leeching strength from him nonetheless.
It was easy to spot Corey, even from behind, as his blond hair shone in the sun. Al's breath caught. God, how he'd missed him. Tearing his gaze away from the one person he both wanted to see and feared to face, Al's eyes darted to the people surrounding Corey. Rosie was there with Vince, as were most of Corey's other friends. Uncle George and Aunt Angelina were standing on the fringes of the group, holding two signs, one for gay rights, and the other for Harry's campaign. Leave it to George to make a statement regardless of what it might do to his business. Al knew he could learn a lot from that.
Mr. Lupin was talking to George, facing Al. He smiled lightly when he saw Al approach. He leaned toward a tall man whose long silver hair was pulled back into a ponytail. The man turned to look at Al, nodding, his expression unreadable.
Al was almost to Corey when someone grabbed his arm. Harry smiled at him and pushed a Potter for Sheriff sign into his hand. "Don't forget this," he said, and winked.
Al pointed at his own chest. "Doesn't bother you that I'm wearing this?"
"You're doing something very brave. I'm proud of you."
Al launched himself at his father, throwing his arms around his neck, snuggling for a moment like he'd done when he was small.
Harry returned the hug, but then pushed Al lightly away. "Go apologize to Corey. I'll be here if you need me, marching right behind you."
Al nodded. He looked at Hugo. "Thanks."
"No problem." Hugo took a sign from Harry. "I'm marching with the fags," he mock whispered.
Harry laughed.
Corey seemed to sense Al's presence just before Al reached him. He turned around. The smile he'd been wearing melted off his face to be replaced by confusion and not just a little pain.
Even though he was shaking almost uncontrollably, Al stepped up close. "Is it too late?"
"The parade hasn't started yet."
"You know that's not what I mean."
Corey shrugged. "I'm not going to make this easy for you."
"I deserve that," Al said. He fought to control his voice. "Just, tell me, will you be able to forgive me? Eventually?"
"You'll have to work for it." Corey smirked, unable to keep his normal playfulness out of even this situation.
Al smiled, but then turned serious again. Corey had to know he was willing to do whatever it took. He cupped Corey's face with one hand. "I'll do anything to make it up to you. I'm so sorry I hurt you."
Corey nodded. "You won't run away again?"
"Only if we're playing tag."
Corey grinned and waggled his eyebrows. "I love that game."
Al grabbed Corey's arm with his other hand, and leaned forward. He had a moment of panic, of heart stopping fear, before he pushed it aside and pressed his lips against Corey's. It was something he had never thought he could do in public, but now he knew, if it meant keeping Corey, he'd work on opening up, on not worrying about who saw what. He pulled Corey against him and opened his mouth, urging Corey to do the same.
Someone nearby cleared his throat, startling Al, reminding him of where he was. Mr. Lupin smiled at them. "There's a time and place for that, boys."
"Oh, let them have their fun," George said.
Al pulled away, but only a little. He glanced behind him and realized that his family and the Gay Rights marchers were so intermixed, so blurred together, he couldn't tell where one contingent ended and the next began. He smiled and turned forward. With his family at his back and Corey at his side, he was ready to join the parade.
The End
End Notes: I'm dedicating this entire story to my beta and dear friend, bk7brokemybrain who mentioned in late spring how she'd like me to write a long plotty AS/S fic. Well, here it is.
Thanks to everyone who stuck with this through the ten weeks. I really appreciate all the feedback I've received. *kisses*
As for Al and Corey - I know how I feel the rest of their story goes, but I leave it up to each of you to form your own opinion.
Author: asnowyowl
Title: The Summer Al Began Tried to Live: Chapter 10
Pairing: Albus Severus/Scorpius
Summary: In the summer before college, Al Potter finally begins living, but can he find the courage to show his family who he really is? In this chapter: Decisions are made
Warnings: none really
Rating: This chapter: PG13 for language
Beta: bk7brokemybrain. Thanks so much for all your work on this!
Word Count: 4105
Notes: Written for week ten of the 2009 ass_carnival. And with this, it's done!
Prompts used: Person: Fred Weasley, Object: fireworks, Object: Lightning, Emotion: Anger
Previous chapters:
"Chapter 1"
"Chapter 2"
"Chapter 3"
"Chapter 4"
"Chapter 5"
"Chapter 6"
"Chapter 7"
"Chapter 8"
"Chapter 9"
The Summer Al Began Tried to Live. Chapter 10
Al wasn't sure how long he sat alone beside the road, but by the time he pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed his mom's cell phone number, the moon was high in the sky.
"Oh, Al, thank goodness. Are you all right? Where are you?"
"I'm in Bloomfield. I just… Mom, can you come get me?"
He heard his mom let out a long breath. "Of course. Tell me where you are."
Al looked up at the street sign he was sitting under. "Corner of Shady Avenue and Miller Street. Come by yourself, okay? I don't want to face dad right now."
There was a long pause. Finally, Ginny said, "Corey's here. He'd like to come with me. He's worried half sick about you."
Al curled in on himself, pulling his knees to his chest, resting his forehead on his knees. He closed his eyes and sobbed just once, a dry sob. He doubted he had any tears left. "Tell him to go home. Tell him I'm fine, but he has to go home."
"Albus…."
"Not tonight. I'll call him tomorrow."
********
Al didn't fall asleep until early morning, so when he opened his eyes at noon, he was still exhausted. He wanted to pull the covers over his head and not come out again, but he knew Corey would be waiting for his call. He'd hurt Corey enough and wouldn't add insult to injury.
He remembered weeks ago, being afraid to dial Corey's number for the first time. Rose had finally pushed him into it. Well, no matter how scared he was, he didn't have to rely on Rose any more. He tried to calm his ragged breathing as he dialed.
"Al?" Corey sounded as tired as Al felt.
"Yeah, it's me."
"Are you okay?"
Al felt like a toddler, the way his bottom lip quivered and his eyes burned. He had to take several deep breaths to loosen his throat enough to speak. "I… I don't know."
"You really scared me."
"I know. I'm sorry about that."
"Are we… you know?"
"Still together?" Al whispered. God, he was glad he couldn’t see Corey's face. It was bad enough to imagine the pain he was causing without seeing it. Again, he had to take a deep breath or two. His only hope was to say what he had to say and get off the phone before he lost control. "I don’t know. I've got to figure this all out. I'll call you when I do."
As he was hitting the End button, Al heard Corey say, "I love you, but I won't wait forever."
********
"Vince says Corey's a mess." Rose picked at a bit of lint on Al's quilt and then peered up at him cautiously.
All the women in his life had been tiptoeing around him for three days, acting like he would crumble if a stray breeze caught him just right. Maybe he would.
She chuckled softly. "Well, actually, he said Corey's trying to pretend he's okay but he's doing a lousy job of it."
"I don't want to hear this, Rose."
"But maybe you have to."
Al shook his head. "He's not the only one having a hard time."
Rose touched his arm lightly. "Yeah, but you have the power to make it better. He doesn't. You're the one who needed time. He's only staying away because you won't let him in."
Al shook away from Rose's touch. "I'm tired. I think I'll take a nap."
Rose frowned, but nodded. She switched off the light as she left the room.
********
When Al went to work, he stayed in the storeroom or kitchen, helping George pump out the confections for the French Festival while Fred watched the store. They were behind schedule because of the casino order, but they worked so well together they got everything done in time. Once in a while, George would try to talk to Al about Corey, but Al would cut him off.
When he was home, Al tried to never be alone with James. In front of their family, James was quietly angry, but the couple of times James had managed to corner Al alone, he was downright hostile.
The most recent time, Al was simply on his way to the bathroom when James darted out of his room and crowded him against the hallway wall. James shoved a finger into his chest. "Good thing you broke up with that fucking pansy." He shoved harder, causing Al to grunt in pain. "Don't you dare ever bring another guy here, got it?"
Al didn't answer. He slipped away from his brother and back to his room, the need to pee overridden by a desire for safety. It wasn't that he really cared if James hurt him. He deserved every damn bit of pain he got for the way he'd treated Corey, but he hated to give James the satisfaction of knowing he could be hurt more, and James certainly wasn't the one who should be doling out punishments.
Nights were the worst. During the seemingly endless hours until morning, Al relived all his moments with Corey. He reminisced about the first time they met, their first date, their first everything. And it hurt, like his body had been emptied of everything but pain. It hurt to know he could be so happy and then turn his back on that happiness, that he could be in love, but maybe that wasn't enough. The worst thought, by far, however, was how Corey had loved him enough to accept Al's fears, but Al had thrown that acceptance right back in his face.
It was at night when Al let the pain come. He didn't try to stop it, he didn't try to control it, he just remembered and relived and felt. The emotions were jagged and cruel, but at least the pain meant that he was still alive. He wasn't really the shadow he sometimes felt like he'd become. He usually fell asleep sometime in the early hours of morning, and when he woke, his emotions were spent and he could survive the day, grateful to be that shadow again.
Even through all of that, Al couldn't simply make a decision about Corey and himself. He couldn’t even think about the consequences of any action long enough to find resolution. He felt trapped in his own head and his own heart.
********
He felt a little better by the day of the French Festival, though he had no intentions of actually going. It was one thing to dart in and out of the Sugar Shack, or run into the grocery store for his mother, and endure the glances and whispers that followed him. It would be opening a whole new can of worms to show up at the Festival. People from all the neighboring counties came for the parade, games, rides, food, contests, and late night fireworks display. Al was afraid if he went, he'd get more attention than all the events put together. Plus, going would mean seeing Corey, and he still wasn't ready for that.
There was one obstacle he had to overcome today, regardless of whether he left the house or not. Every Weasley who lived in the area was congregating at Al's house before the parade so they could don Potter for Sheriff t-shirts and drive to the Festival together. Al's mother had decided it would be the perfect time for Al to come out to everyone (though the news was no secret, and he assumed everyone already knew).
He waited in his room, watching cars pull in, until he was sure everyone who'd be there had arrived. It would be hard enough to go through this once, never mind rehashing it for stragglers. Al was just descending the last of the stairs, when he heard Ginny say, "If anyone here isn't supportive of Al, you can leave."
Al strode into the room, not waiting to hear anyone's answer. He glanced around, taking in the faces of his closest family. Some of them looked steadily back at him, some averted their gazes.
James snorted. "Well if no one else is going to say it, I am. I'm damned well not going to support Al. He can fuck off for all I care."
Harry took a step toward James. "James, I've had enough. You'll either be kind to your brother or find somewhere else to live."
James's eyes widened, his mouth opened and then hung slack, and his face went from normal to red to white in a matter of moments. Finally, he snapped his mouth closed, sneered at his father, and said, "Uncle Bill and Aunt Fleur will let me live with them. They said they'd send me a ticket if things got too weird around here. I'll let them know you don't want me."
Harry sighed. "It's not that we don’t want you-"
"But if you're part of this family, James," Ginny interrupted her husband. "You will show respect to everyone."
James grunted. He pushed past his relatives and strode out the door. Moments later his truck's engine roared to life and tires squealed as he peeled out of the driveway and down the road.
Ginny had put up a good front when faced with James, but now she was shaking and pale, visibly upset by James's outburst. Grandma Weasley wrapped her arms around her and patted her hair. "It's okay, honey, James will come around."
Al wanted to cry, but he'd already done enough of that to last years. This time, though, he didn't want to shed tears for himself and Corey, this time he wanted to cry for all the turmoil his decision was causing. It wasn't right that his family should be torn apart because of something that really only had to do with him. "I'm sorry," he said to his mother. "I should be the one to move out. And… and I won't ever bring another guy home again. James won't have to leave, you'll see. I can live with…" his eyes searched the room. He knew anyone he'd move in with was right here. Hermione stepped forward at the same time George did, but before anything more could be said, Harry cleared his throat.
"You're not going anywhere, Al. This is your home as much as it is James's. As for bringing home dates, I fully expect to see Corey back in this house, soon." He raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest, brooking no argument.
Ginny pulled away from her mother. "What about you, mom? You're not going to give Al a hard time, are you?"
Molly Weasley harrumphed. "Why would I?"
Al let out a long breath. He scanned the rest of the room's occupants. None of his cousins shied away from his glance, but there were fewer there than should be. He caught Percy's eye. "What about you? I see the girls aren't here."
Percy shrugged. "I'm doing my best, but you can't expect miracles."
"I suppose that's enough for now," Al said, his words covering his mother's exasperated sigh.
Percy nodded. "You've always been so level-headed, so I'm sure you can understand why this," he motioned ineffectually, hands dancing for a moment in the air, as if he could grab the word he was looking for, "strangeness came as such a surprise."
The phone rang, relieving Al of the duty of answering that garbage.
Ginny took the call and after a few hushed words, hung up. "That was Charlie."
Harry chuckled. "Leave it to him to put in his two cents, even from Texas."
Al hadn't given his Uncle Charlie a thought. Out of sight, out of mind, he supposed. Or maybe it was just because Charlie was so easygoing that Al didn't expect any problems from him. After all, he'd imagined Uncle Bill's negative reaction often enough, and Bill was farther away than Charlie. But since James had mentioned he could live with Bill if there was trouble, Bill had probably known Al's secret for weeks. Real nice of him to call and talk, wasn't it? "What'd Charlie say?"
Ginny blushed. "He said to say good for you, and that he knows most of the guys on the gay rodeo circuit if you're interested."
Al barked out a laugh. It was the first time he remembered laughing since he'd left Corey at Zabini's.
With that, the tension in the room broke and everyone started talking at once. Al thought he might have been the only one who noticed Percy slip out the front door.
A half hour later and Al was alone. He'd quickly tired of the crowd, and couldn't help but yearn for those quiet times he'd spent alone with Corey. Listening to everyone chattering on about how great it was that Al was accepting his sexuality had soured his mood. What did they know about what he was going through?
As soon as he heard car doors slamming and engines firing, Al gratefully climbed the stairs and shut himself into his bedroom. After the rough nights he'd put in lately, he figured sleep would do him good, and maybe for once he could go to sleep without recreating all the drama of his life.
He had stripped off his shirt and jeans and crawled into bed, turning over to put the window at his back, when someone knocked on his bedroom door. Damn it, they were all supposed to be gone. "What?" he snarled, sitting up in bed.
Hugo stepped into the room, grinning. "You don't have to sound so mad. I'm on your side, after all."
Al slumped back down and threw an arm over his eyes. "What are you doing here? Everyone's supposed to be gone."
"I stayed back because we need to talk. You can give me a ride to the Festival after."
"In case you missed it, I'm not going."
"Yeah. You're going."
Al peered out at Hugo. God, the boy was infuriating sometimes. "Why'd your mom let you stay, anyway? She knew I wanted to be alone."
"I told her I was riding with Grandma and Grandpa. I waited outside and then hid at the perfect time so no one would notice. They won't know I'm gone until they've been at the Festival for at least five minutes, so that gives us what? About fifteen minutes to talk? See, I told you I'll make a good spy someday."
"I never doubted it." Al sat up and rested against the headboard of his bed. He knew he wouldn't get rid of Hugo by any other means than listening. "So, go ahead, tell me what you think I need to know."
"You're being really stupid." Hugo moved closer to the bed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I don't remember you ever doing something so dumb."
Al scowled. "If you're done criticizing me, you can wait downstairs. I'm sure someone will come back for you soon."
"I'm not done."
"Of course you're not."
"I'm odd." Hugo nodded as if he'd just stated that it was Saturday. "I know I'm a bit strange, you know it, heck, everyone knows it. 'That Hugo Weasley's a strange one.' I hear people say it all the time."
It seemed rude to agree, but it was the truth and Hugo didn't seem bothered by it, so Al nodded.
"Do you like me any less because I'm weird?" Hugo asked, his brow furrowing.
"Of course not. You are who you are. I probably like you more because you're different and you don't worry about what other people think."
Hugo grinned smugly.
Al rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I get your point, but it doesn't apply to me. You don't care that people are looking at you, talking about you. I care."
"Why?"
Al shrugged. He'd never thought of the why, just knew he wasn't comfortable being in the spotlight. "I don't like people noticing me."
"Corey noticed you."
"That's different. I wanted him to." Al sat up straighter and pulled his knees to his chin under the covers.
"Well, if I was with someone like Corey, I'd want people to notice I was dating a hot guy." Hugo blushed.
Al quashed a sudden spike of jealousy. He didn't really think Hugo and Corey would get together, but still, he didn't want to imagine Corey getting over him and moving on with some other guy. He'd been avoiding that thought for days, and now that he imagined it, it was like a bolt of lightning shocking him. "Corey won't wait forever, will he?"
"Of course not. If you want him, you better make a move."
"I do, you know. I really miss him." And it was true. Al knew just how empty his life was without Corey.
"Find him at the Festival and tell him."
Al's heart stuttered. "I can't do that! Not in front of everyone."
Hugo pulled his hands from his pockets and sat on the edge of Al's bed. "Do you think it'll be good enough to make up with him in private? I've been thinking about this, and if you don’t do this publicly, he's just going to keep waiting for you to melt down again. He's not going to trust your relationship unless you're willing to make up with him in public."
Al laughed. "How old are you again?"
"Physically, sixteen. Mentally, I figure at least forty." Hugo nodded seriously.
Al couldn't disagree. "I don't see why I should have to do this today. It can wait until tomorrow. I'll prove to Corey that I can handle our relationship, just not at the Festival."
Hugo sighed. He stood and strode across the room, grabbing Al's laptop. "I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice."
Al had a sinking feeling. He was pretty sure where this was going and he didn't like the direction. He shook his head. "I don't want to know."
Hugo sat next to Al. He cocked his head. "You don’t want to know what?"
"Whatever it is you're going to show me." He couldn't take his eyes off the screen. He'd avoided the Internet since the night at Zabini's, knowing any local sites, or even his own email inbox would be full of gossip.
"Suck it up," Hugo said. He opened a browser and selected YouTube from the address bar. "If you're really going to understand, then you need to see this."
"Please don't." Al wanted so badly to launch off the bed and run away, but that's the kind of thought that had gotten him into this mess, so he stayed put, swallowing hard, trying to control his breathing.
Hugo found the video he wanted and Al recognized Corey and himself at Zabini's. "Vanessa's video," he mumbled.
Al watched, a feeling of dread bleeding into his veins like ice. He saw the waitress, Janine, approach their table, Corey took Al's hand and talked and smiled. Al looked around, already appearing panicked. God, how had Corey missed the fear in Al's eyes? Even in the grainy video, Al could see it. Percy walked in, hovered over their table, and then left. Al jumped up, motioning wildly with his arms. He was talking so loudly, the camera phone caught every word. He winced as he heard himself proclaim his love and his cowardice in one horrible sentence. Then he ran. The camera stayed focused on Corey for a few torturous moments. What Al saw in Corey's face broke his heart, caused him to hate himself for hurting someone he loved. Corey looked shocked at first, then he seemed to deflate, to become small and scared. He dropped his head to his hands just as the video ended, freezing him in that moment.
"See? That's what you have to fix. You did the damage in public, now you can fix it the same way," Hugo said softly. He closed the browser and returned the computer to the desk. When he came back to the bed, he held out a hand. "Come on, it's time to go."
Al nodded as he took Hugo's hand.
********
Al glanced down at his shirt, ran a hand down the transfer. He wondered how many of the people lining the road were reading the slogan, Gay and Proud. He straightened, throwing his shoulders back. He might not feel what his shirt said, but he could damn well act like he did.
He kept his eyes averted from the faces surrounding him. It was easier to imagine they were all strangers and not his neighbors, classmates, and maybe even a friend or two. He walked close to Hugo, not touching him, but leeching strength from him nonetheless.
It was easy to spot Corey, even from behind, as his blond hair shone in the sun. Al's breath caught. God, how he'd missed him. Tearing his gaze away from the one person he both wanted to see and feared to face, Al's eyes darted to the people surrounding Corey. Rosie was there with Vince, as were most of Corey's other friends. Uncle George and Aunt Angelina were standing on the fringes of the group, holding two signs, one for gay rights, and the other for Harry's campaign. Leave it to George to make a statement regardless of what it might do to his business. Al knew he could learn a lot from that.
Mr. Lupin was talking to George, facing Al. He smiled lightly when he saw Al approach. He leaned toward a tall man whose long silver hair was pulled back into a ponytail. The man turned to look at Al, nodding, his expression unreadable.
Al was almost to Corey when someone grabbed his arm. Harry smiled at him and pushed a Potter for Sheriff sign into his hand. "Don't forget this," he said, and winked.
Al pointed at his own chest. "Doesn't bother you that I'm wearing this?"
"You're doing something very brave. I'm proud of you."
Al launched himself at his father, throwing his arms around his neck, snuggling for a moment like he'd done when he was small.
Harry returned the hug, but then pushed Al lightly away. "Go apologize to Corey. I'll be here if you need me, marching right behind you."
Al nodded. He looked at Hugo. "Thanks."
"No problem." Hugo took a sign from Harry. "I'm marching with the fags," he mock whispered.
Harry laughed.
Corey seemed to sense Al's presence just before Al reached him. He turned around. The smile he'd been wearing melted off his face to be replaced by confusion and not just a little pain.
Even though he was shaking almost uncontrollably, Al stepped up close. "Is it too late?"
"The parade hasn't started yet."
"You know that's not what I mean."
Corey shrugged. "I'm not going to make this easy for you."
"I deserve that," Al said. He fought to control his voice. "Just, tell me, will you be able to forgive me? Eventually?"
"You'll have to work for it." Corey smirked, unable to keep his normal playfulness out of even this situation.
Al smiled, but then turned serious again. Corey had to know he was willing to do whatever it took. He cupped Corey's face with one hand. "I'll do anything to make it up to you. I'm so sorry I hurt you."
Corey nodded. "You won't run away again?"
"Only if we're playing tag."
Corey grinned and waggled his eyebrows. "I love that game."
Al grabbed Corey's arm with his other hand, and leaned forward. He had a moment of panic, of heart stopping fear, before he pushed it aside and pressed his lips against Corey's. It was something he had never thought he could do in public, but now he knew, if it meant keeping Corey, he'd work on opening up, on not worrying about who saw what. He pulled Corey against him and opened his mouth, urging Corey to do the same.
Someone nearby cleared his throat, startling Al, reminding him of where he was. Mr. Lupin smiled at them. "There's a time and place for that, boys."
"Oh, let them have their fun," George said.
Al pulled away, but only a little. He glanced behind him and realized that his family and the Gay Rights marchers were so intermixed, so blurred together, he couldn't tell where one contingent ended and the next began. He smiled and turned forward. With his family at his back and Corey at his side, he was ready to join the parade.
The End
End Notes: I'm dedicating this entire story to my beta and dear friend, bk7brokemybrain who mentioned in late spring how she'd like me to write a long plotty AS/S fic. Well, here it is.
Thanks to everyone who stuck with this through the ten weeks. I really appreciate all the feedback I've received. *kisses*
As for Al and Corey - I know how I feel the rest of their story goes, but I leave it up to each of you to form your own opinion.