It's been awhile...
Try as I may it seems that I can't get away from this damn thing. Let's see...i don't really know what's happened since i last wrote in here...not much i don't really think. I still don't have a g/f...i still don't really like anyone. I have my crushes here and there, i typically like girls with b/f's, yeah, that always turns out great. I got my ferret, named him Zeppelin, he's awesome, an expensive little guy, but awesome none the less. School is good and bad, ochem is the hardest class ever, and genetics just blows. I just want to pass both of them and get the hell on. It's about time for a second huge ass party, this one will be bigger than my bday was, mostly b/c it has much better timing than the first one. We're almost done with the beer pong table, i imagine thursday and friday will be the roughest days on getting that thing finished. I'm a bit broke, with a fine from a speeding ticket, vaccines for Zep, and this party..i'm sittin' pretty short stacked...but it will all work out, it always does. I haven't really been sleeping lately, i'll go to bed at like 4 in the morning and get up at 8...i got 8 hours last night b/c i skipped genetics class. I pretty much go to every class but that now..i'll go on thursday though, hopefully...i just hate it soooooo much.
I officially can't find a girl that i like...i've almost all but given up. I'm so picky, and i really probably shouldn't be, but i am. Whenever i find a girl that i'm attracted to i don't like her personality, whenever i find a girl with a personality i like, i'm not attracted to her..and when i find a girl that has both...she has a b/f...who she is "in love" with, of course. You know, i just realized, I pretty much only write in this thing when i'm pissed off or lonely, or both. I hope this party turns into an opportunity to meet new girls. I miss the intimacy of a relationship. Yeah, that's right, i miss the cuddling...and if you don't like to cuddle, you have issues. Times like these are dangerous though, i may end up hooking up with someone on friday night, and while on one hand i'm like cool! that'd be awesome....the other side is telling me i'll just be more lonely after a one-night stand...and most likely if i hook up with someone that's what it'll be, b/c odds are either i wont want to date her or she wont want to date me. I didn't really have these issues of rejection in h/s...maybe it's cuz i didn't really put myself in situations where i could get rejected, i'm not sure. Either way, I get rejected a lot more now and it sucks. I am most definately the "type of guy you marry," the shitty part is...i don't want to get married, i want to date, damn it. I'm sorry i don't pretend to not like you, and yell at you, and make you feel small, that's not how i roll, and apparently that's what a lot of the girls out there want. I wonder if it's a victim complex? I don't really understand it, but i see girls all the time put up with guys bullshit...oh and really...i'm going to shift gears...speaking of bullshit...EMO kids...get a fucking clue. You do not have to make your life sad to really have a life. Producing drama and depression because it makes you "feel life" is an insult to all those that have real problems. It is not cool to pretend like the girl you went on a date with last weekend, whose pants you probably wanted to borrow, and didn't call you was the love of your life slipping away. Quit thriving on your own bullshit, get a grip, and smile every once in awhile, or do all the piercings pull your skin too tight? And girls, dying your hair and playing dress up may be fun...but lets not go overboard...and for all you girls that think emo boys are hot...you're basically saying, let's blur all the gender lines...i want a boy who wants to go shopping, and blah blah blah...you basically are wanting a gay friend that wants to do you...well as much as so many of you think emo boys are so hot...once you grow up, god forbid that ever happened, you'll soon realize you don't want a g/f for a b/f...and you'll go find a real man. And b/c i think so many of us have forgotten what a real man is let me atleast remind you what he is not...a real man is not a man in girl pants, he does not starve himself to fit into said pants, he does not find reasons to be sad and cry, he does not express himself to an emotional extent that makes him cry atleast once a week....he does not want to go shopping for clothes with you...that last one can be hard to grip...b/c a guy will go shopping with you if he's interested...or being nice...if he's being nice, he will complain...if he's interested...he won't ...that much.
That's really all i want to say at the moment..peace.
I officially can't find a girl that i like...i've almost all but given up. I'm so picky, and i really probably shouldn't be, but i am. Whenever i find a girl that i'm attracted to i don't like her personality, whenever i find a girl with a personality i like, i'm not attracted to her..and when i find a girl that has both...she has a b/f...who she is "in love" with, of course. You know, i just realized, I pretty much only write in this thing when i'm pissed off or lonely, or both. I hope this party turns into an opportunity to meet new girls. I miss the intimacy of a relationship. Yeah, that's right, i miss the cuddling...and if you don't like to cuddle, you have issues. Times like these are dangerous though, i may end up hooking up with someone on friday night, and while on one hand i'm like cool! that'd be awesome....the other side is telling me i'll just be more lonely after a one-night stand...and most likely if i hook up with someone that's what it'll be, b/c odds are either i wont want to date her or she wont want to date me. I didn't really have these issues of rejection in h/s...maybe it's cuz i didn't really put myself in situations where i could get rejected, i'm not sure. Either way, I get rejected a lot more now and it sucks. I am most definately the "type of guy you marry," the shitty part is...i don't want to get married, i want to date, damn it. I'm sorry i don't pretend to not like you, and yell at you, and make you feel small, that's not how i roll, and apparently that's what a lot of the girls out there want. I wonder if it's a victim complex? I don't really understand it, but i see girls all the time put up with guys bullshit...oh and really...i'm going to shift gears...speaking of bullshit...EMO kids...get a fucking clue. You do not have to make your life sad to really have a life. Producing drama and depression because it makes you "feel life" is an insult to all those that have real problems. It is not cool to pretend like the girl you went on a date with last weekend, whose pants you probably wanted to borrow, and didn't call you was the love of your life slipping away. Quit thriving on your own bullshit, get a grip, and smile every once in awhile, or do all the piercings pull your skin too tight? And girls, dying your hair and playing dress up may be fun...but lets not go overboard...and for all you girls that think emo boys are hot...you're basically saying, let's blur all the gender lines...i want a boy who wants to go shopping, and blah blah blah...you basically are wanting a gay friend that wants to do you...well as much as so many of you think emo boys are so hot...once you grow up, god forbid that ever happened, you'll soon realize you don't want a g/f for a b/f...and you'll go find a real man. And b/c i think so many of us have forgotten what a real man is let me atleast remind you what he is not...a real man is not a man in girl pants, he does not starve himself to fit into said pants, he does not find reasons to be sad and cry, he does not express himself to an emotional extent that makes him cry atleast once a week....he does not want to go shopping for clothes with you...that last one can be hard to grip...b/c a guy will go shopping with you if he's interested...or being nice...if he's being nice, he will complain...if he's interested...he won't ...that much.
That's really all i want to say at the moment..peace.