WORST OF MYSPACE: Volume 666
Withold your vomit
"MOVIES: Action and funny, cartoons, family guy, seifield, kind of the hill, etc. Too many to mention by name."
Retard.
"I am wild and spiritual all wrapped into one. hmmmmmmm I love to work out and love the outdoors. I hike, mtn bike,martial arts and walk with my Wolf as much as I can, he is my cardio. hehehe."
Thanks for subtly informing me that you're a zoophile. And by that, I mean as subtle as loading a cannon full of pictures of you sucking a wolf cock, and firing at my face while I'm sleeping.
"On my own time I an an inventor,I have some projects/inventions hopefully to come out this year."
I'm working on a special swing and harness to better allow you to have sex with your pet wolves.
"Love women who are well built and of course have a good friendly personality with intelligence."
I like a woman with boobs, butts, and vaginas. Really I do.
What? I love women, why are you looking at me that way? I LOVE WOMEN, I SWEAR IT!
"Occupation: AN ANGEL"
I'm running out of vomit.
Sorry buddy, but straight men don't say "heeheehee", "Love Yahhh!!!", wear assless chaps, and pile their hairsprayed perms to the side. I'm almost certain straight men don't have hairsprayed perms to begin with. Stop kidding yourself, once a closet zoophile fag, always one.
Plus you have a boring myspace, needs more quizzes and "trinkle down" graphics.
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"This myspace belongs to Sean Pratten and Holliann Itson. We want to share one beause there is no point in us having two. We would both over run the other so why not share one. *I am so lucky to have Holli Dolli in my life...I'm lucky to know you - Sean*"
Pretty gay, dude. BF/GF myspace accounts are the exact opposite of brutal stuff like two guys having an axe fight or Robosaurus.
Sean and Holli's joint myspace unit of love
I can smell it now...
"Well I kill people on my spare time, only people who I think need to go, yes I have a list, but who doesn't."
Shut up.
"Music is my life. I have to have it to live. My belief is if there was no music the world wouldn't function. It affects so many people so many different ways."
Wow, you sound like you have a really great grasp on what music means, I'm sure you have impecable taste.
I like: Mika, Atreyu, A.F.I, H.I.M, Panic! at the Disco, Green Day, Korn, The Transplants, Coheed and Cambria, Sublime, The Killers, She Wants Revenge, Fall Out Boy, Avenged Sevenfold, The Used, Matchbook Romance, My Chemical Romance, System of a Down, Jimmy Eat World, The Ramones, C.K.Y, 69 Eyes, The Clash, The Tossers, All American Rejects, From First to Last, The Foo Fighters, 30 Seconds to Mars, Incubus, Kings of Leon, Armor for Sleep, Trapt, Garbage, Alkaline Trio, Flogging Molly, Guns N' Roses, Head Automatica, Linkin Park, Nine Inch Nails, P.O.D, Queens of the Stone Age, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Aiden, Flyleaf, The Bloody Irish Boys, The Casualties, Sister Hazel..."
Oh... Fuck...
"thats all I can think of now but I know there is so many more."
Yeah, you forgot Limp Bizkit and ICP.
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gothiclestat26's Myspace RIP, you were going to be the 2nd runner-up for WoM 6.
You may remember his previous work in "WoM 6 Preview" playing the crispy haired fat-head vampire. Or his later work in the same bulletin as crispy haired fat-head Crow.
Your myspace will be greatly missed as it was neccissary to write this article.
Never forget.
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WISE WORDS FROM PUDDING ENTHUSIAST CHAINZ666 aka GLUTTONY
"Woe to you, Oh Earth and Sea, for the Devil sends the beast with wrath, because he knows the time is short... Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast for it is a human number, its number is Six hundred and sixty six."
On top of spagetti, all covered in cheese, I lost my poor meatball, when somebody sneezed.
"well i hate fucking nazi's (NAZI PUNKS FUCK OFF)and vloods im a psychopathic ryder 4 life "SOUTHSIDE". im a juggalo 4 life."
Should have seen that coming.
"%D%A%D%A What is a Juggalo?%D%A A Juggalo is a person who sees things different from everyone else."
Actually I'm pretty sure that's called "color blind".
"We are the people who society takes every opportunity to tell that we are screwed up."
Someone should probably listen to society more often.
"We are the last true vigilantes left in this society of pre-packaged music and cellophane wrapped life."
We are the last true renegades fighting against champagne wishes and caviar dreams!
"we are the people who see past the outer core of a person into their hearts,just as we see through the violence and rough language of the records put out by Psychopathic."
So your claim to fame is seeing past how shitty the shitty music you obsess over is. That must take the heart of a true champion.
"We see the true story put down by the likes of ICP Twisted and Blaze. We feel the love of our family... our Juggalo family, even when our real Family treats us like we are nothing."
Your real family treating you like nothing is a blessing. I'm sure your parents dream nightly of giving you the pillow-under-pistol goodnight kiss, but instead they just treat you like nothing. If you ask me, that's what I call a hero.
"%D%A im a goth/saintanist/vampire and if u have a problem with me let me know and ill give u my address and u can try and do sumthin about it bitch"
Normally I'm terrified of vampires, but the bologna-faced variety that can only suck gravy from the bottom of styrofoam containers from KFC bode far less intimidating.
Chainz' father looks on in disappointment, from hell.
You can't spell SPRHOI without I.H.O.P.
Does the shortstack come with extra sausage fingers?
Kettle, pot, etc~
Which knocks the man into the rubba-dub-tub. The trap is set, here comes the net!
We can only hope, fatty.
The black font on black background (complete with pot leaves), the soliloquy about Juggalo life, numerous Myspace quizzes (including "What Kind of Kiss Are You?" featuring Naruto fan-art), and a Three Days Grace video, and "my interests are weed,alchol, suicide and chicks" earn Chainz a place in the WoM hall of fame for certain, but he was trumped ever so slightly by the final entry.
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Finally.
I'm not sure I can even find the words.
Well, there are four...
OH
MY
GOD...
What?
In all honesty I'm at a loss for words. The layout to his page, the graphics, the extreme amount of scrolling both vertically and horizontally, his inane fucking photoshops and gifs, the perverted 3D cube of girls asses, his "flash game", all the faggoty gangster stuff, and FIVE pages of the most mindnumbing imagry you are likely to find on myspace if you went looking for a year straight.
Gems such as:
Placed third for "The Invisible Jawline".
Welcome to the jungle.
I'm pretty sure the thing in the middle is a dude.
This picture makes me want to smash his brains out with a brick.
What?
I don't really know what else I can say about this epic failure. The usual "they're a terrible excuse for a human being and should die in a horrible painful way" just doesn't cut it. I give up.
"MOVIES: Action and funny, cartoons, family guy, seifield, kind of the hill, etc. Too many to mention by name."
Retard.
"I am wild and spiritual all wrapped into one. hmmmmmmm I love to work out and love the outdoors. I hike, mtn bike,martial arts and walk with my Wolf as much as I can, he is my cardio. hehehe."
Thanks for subtly informing me that you're a zoophile. And by that, I mean as subtle as loading a cannon full of pictures of you sucking a wolf cock, and firing at my face while I'm sleeping.
"On my own time I an an inventor,I have some projects/inventions hopefully to come out this year."
I'm working on a special swing and harness to better allow you to have sex with your pet wolves.
"Love women who are well built and of course have a good friendly personality with intelligence."
I like a woman with boobs, butts, and vaginas. Really I do.
What? I love women, why are you looking at me that way? I LOVE WOMEN, I SWEAR IT!
"Occupation: AN ANGEL"
I'm running out of vomit.
Sorry buddy, but straight men don't say "heeheehee", "Love Yahhh!!!", wear assless chaps, and pile their hairsprayed perms to the side. I'm almost certain straight men don't have hairsprayed perms to begin with. Stop kidding yourself, once a closet zoophile fag, always one.
Plus you have a boring myspace, needs more quizzes and "trinkle down" graphics.
===============================================================================
===============================================================================
"This myspace belongs to Sean Pratten and Holliann Itson. We want to share one beause there is no point in us having two. We would both over run the other so why not share one. *I am so lucky to have Holli Dolli in my life...I'm lucky to know you - Sean*"
Pretty gay, dude. BF/GF myspace accounts are the exact opposite of brutal stuff like two guys having an axe fight or Robosaurus.
Sean and Holli's joint myspace unit of love
I can smell it now...
"Well I kill people on my spare time, only people who I think need to go, yes I have a list, but who doesn't."
Shut up.
"Music is my life. I have to have it to live. My belief is if there was no music the world wouldn't function. It affects so many people so many different ways."
Wow, you sound like you have a really great grasp on what music means, I'm sure you have impecable taste.
I like: Mika, Atreyu, A.F.I, H.I.M, Panic! at the Disco, Green Day, Korn, The Transplants, Coheed and Cambria, Sublime, The Killers, She Wants Revenge, Fall Out Boy, Avenged Sevenfold, The Used, Matchbook Romance, My Chemical Romance, System of a Down, Jimmy Eat World, The Ramones, C.K.Y, 69 Eyes, The Clash, The Tossers, All American Rejects, From First to Last, The Foo Fighters, 30 Seconds to Mars, Incubus, Kings of Leon, Armor for Sleep, Trapt, Garbage, Alkaline Trio, Flogging Molly, Guns N' Roses, Head Automatica, Linkin Park, Nine Inch Nails, P.O.D, Queens of the Stone Age, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Aiden, Flyleaf, The Bloody Irish Boys, The Casualties, Sister Hazel..."
Oh... Fuck...
"thats all I can think of now but I know there is so many more."
Yeah, you forgot Limp Bizkit and ICP.
===============================================================================
===============================================================================
gothiclestat26's Myspace RIP, you were going to be the 2nd runner-up for WoM 6.
You may remember his previous work in "WoM 6 Preview" playing the crispy haired fat-head vampire. Or his later work in the same bulletin as crispy haired fat-head Crow.
Your myspace will be greatly missed as it was neccissary to write this article.
Never forget.
===============================================================================
===============================================================================
WISE WORDS FROM PUDDING ENTHUSIAST CHAINZ666 aka GLUTTONY
"Woe to you, Oh Earth and Sea, for the Devil sends the beast with wrath, because he knows the time is short... Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast for it is a human number, its number is Six hundred and sixty six."
On top of spagetti, all covered in cheese, I lost my poor meatball, when somebody sneezed.
"well i hate fucking nazi's (NAZI PUNKS FUCK OFF)and vloods im a psychopathic ryder 4 life "SOUTHSIDE". im a juggalo 4 life."
Should have seen that coming.
"%D%A%D%A What is a Juggalo?%D%A A Juggalo is a person who sees things different from everyone else."
Actually I'm pretty sure that's called "color blind".
"We are the people who society takes every opportunity to tell that we are screwed up."
Someone should probably listen to society more often.
"We are the last true vigilantes left in this society of pre-packaged music and cellophane wrapped life."
We are the last true renegades fighting against champagne wishes and caviar dreams!
"we are the people who see past the outer core of a person into their hearts,just as we see through the violence and rough language of the records put out by Psychopathic."
So your claim to fame is seeing past how shitty the shitty music you obsess over is. That must take the heart of a true champion.
"We see the true story put down by the likes of ICP Twisted and Blaze. We feel the love of our family... our Juggalo family, even when our real Family treats us like we are nothing."
Your real family treating you like nothing is a blessing. I'm sure your parents dream nightly of giving you the pillow-under-pistol goodnight kiss, but instead they just treat you like nothing. If you ask me, that's what I call a hero.
"%D%A im a goth/saintanist/vampire and if u have a problem with me let me know and ill give u my address and u can try and do sumthin about it bitch"
Normally I'm terrified of vampires, but the bologna-faced variety that can only suck gravy from the bottom of styrofoam containers from KFC bode far less intimidating.
Chainz' father looks on in disappointment, from hell.
You can't spell SPRHOI without I.H.O.P.
Does the shortstack come with extra sausage fingers?
Kettle, pot, etc~
Which knocks the man into the rubba-dub-tub. The trap is set, here comes the net!
We can only hope, fatty.
The black font on black background (complete with pot leaves), the soliloquy about Juggalo life, numerous Myspace quizzes (including "What Kind of Kiss Are You?" featuring Naruto fan-art), and a Three Days Grace video, and "my interests are weed,alchol, suicide and chicks" earn Chainz a place in the WoM hall of fame for certain, but he was trumped ever so slightly by the final entry.
===============================================================================
===============================================================================
Finally.
I'm not sure I can even find the words.
Well, there are four...
OH
MY
GOD...
What?
In all honesty I'm at a loss for words. The layout to his page, the graphics, the extreme amount of scrolling both vertically and horizontally, his inane fucking photoshops and gifs, the perverted 3D cube of girls asses, his "flash game", all the faggoty gangster stuff, and FIVE pages of the most mindnumbing imagry you are likely to find on myspace if you went looking for a year straight.
Gems such as:
Placed third for "The Invisible Jawline".
Welcome to the jungle.
I'm pretty sure the thing in the middle is a dude.
This picture makes me want to smash his brains out with a brick.
What?
I don't really know what else I can say about this epic failure. The usual "they're a terrible excuse for a human being and should die in a horrible painful way" just doesn't cut it. I give up.