if the worlds at large, why should i remain?
brians band did great.
then mom called and put me in a bad mood. i guess she's allowed. and i am a really bad daughter to her sometimes, and i'm never home, but this house drives me absolutely crazy.
i blame long island, even though i shouldn't. it's really not the locations fault. it's just that at times like this i really wish i never ever set foot here. i would have been a lot more ignorant, but i hear that's a better life.
whatever, it's 10:42 on a friday night, i came home early for my mom, my brother is out, and she's going to bed.
and i'm actually getting so upset over this shit that i threw up. i let all this bullshit build on me, i stay happy, then one little thing sets me off and i'm sick for three days. ready go.
i'm saying right now that i'm not partying at all this weekend, it will make me upset when i'm drunk, matt and kristine make me upset, my car is making me upset, my family is making me upset, rich makes me upset, makeup, spencer, sugar problems, when brians upset, missing a lot of people, the fact that somewhere in my mind i've convinced myself that i am quite possibly the worst daughter ever, seeing mike all happy still makes me sick, my strict rules, the fact that kids ask 'you have a curfew don't you' and 'i thought your parents were going to ease up' and all that shit, prom, my lack of a "real job" and the fact that i'm not going to a good school, it all brings me way down in one way or another, and i shouldn't let half of it. i want to find another place, maybe one i can stand.
i'm only seeing matt, tom, and brian for the next couple of days. don't be mad, it will save all of you from being snapped on.
today was going to good too, i had good songs, my top was down, it was nice out, i got to see brians band, all that. and i come home to an angry mother only to try and spend some time with her on her birthday [because that's what she was mad about] and she goes right up to bed. honestly if i was even allowed out right now i don't think i would go. at this point i just want to sit and rot away. i looked really fucking good today too. i made it a point. brian tried to make me feel better, he really did, and i brushed him away and just sat down and left. great. awesome. home run on that one, meg.
maybe i just need a hug or something. sorry about the long winded bitching.
then mom called and put me in a bad mood. i guess she's allowed. and i am a really bad daughter to her sometimes, and i'm never home, but this house drives me absolutely crazy.
i blame long island, even though i shouldn't. it's really not the locations fault. it's just that at times like this i really wish i never ever set foot here. i would have been a lot more ignorant, but i hear that's a better life.
whatever, it's 10:42 on a friday night, i came home early for my mom, my brother is out, and she's going to bed.
and i'm actually getting so upset over this shit that i threw up. i let all this bullshit build on me, i stay happy, then one little thing sets me off and i'm sick for three days. ready go.
i'm saying right now that i'm not partying at all this weekend, it will make me upset when i'm drunk, matt and kristine make me upset, my car is making me upset, my family is making me upset, rich makes me upset, makeup, spencer, sugar problems, when brians upset, missing a lot of people, the fact that somewhere in my mind i've convinced myself that i am quite possibly the worst daughter ever, seeing mike all happy still makes me sick, my strict rules, the fact that kids ask 'you have a curfew don't you' and 'i thought your parents were going to ease up' and all that shit, prom, my lack of a "real job" and the fact that i'm not going to a good school, it all brings me way down in one way or another, and i shouldn't let half of it. i want to find another place, maybe one i can stand.
i'm only seeing matt, tom, and brian for the next couple of days. don't be mad, it will save all of you from being snapped on.
today was going to good too, i had good songs, my top was down, it was nice out, i got to see brians band, all that. and i come home to an angry mother only to try and spend some time with her on her birthday [because that's what she was mad about] and she goes right up to bed. honestly if i was even allowed out right now i don't think i would go. at this point i just want to sit and rot away. i looked really fucking good today too. i made it a point. brian tried to make me feel better, he really did, and i brushed him away and just sat down and left. great. awesome. home run on that one, meg.
maybe i just need a hug or something. sorry about the long winded bitching.