(no subject)
hard question, but do you believe chemical balance can be fixed through a psychological process? I believe mine did
Alexa אומר/ת:
I feel like I did the same thing, and someone told me more or less that I was never actually depressed or had a real problem in the first place. Ha ha ha, hilarious
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
fuck em
Alexa אומר/ת:
I thought if you wanted to die, that was pretty much the only criterion you needed to know there was a problem
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
*nods*
Alexa אומר/ת:
and I wasn't going to ask for help because I "didn't deserve it".
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
Thought so as well. In a way, I still believe in it
Alexa אומר/ת:
it's a hard thing to disabuse oneself of. but it's completely untrue
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
You'd imagine trusting someone to tell you what to do would be the problem of a lot of mentally ill people in the first place
Alexa אומר/ת:
it absolutely is
Alexa אומר/ת:
and also the thought that if you're already a burden on your loved ones, why would you make it worse for them?
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
i'm doing everything for one person which i had already told you is not an healthy thing to think
Alexa אומר/ת:
probably not. i think the only really healthy person to do everything for is yourself. human nature = our own destruction
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
i wonder what i could do for myself. really.
Alexa אומר/ת:
i'm trying to listen only to myself right now. it's very difficult. it's like ripping off a bandage, like you know it needs to happen but it's very painful
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
*nods*
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
i think the thing that has made me feel better, was that previously when i'd released a lot of anger, i got sent straight to hospital. or to get diagnosed in the first place. but now i went through the process alone, with everything that went on the internets dramsa
Alexa אומר/ת:
*nod* I think maybe it makes you more in control of yourself
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
i have my own coping mechanisms. i actually KNOW since my last hospitalisation that i'm disassociative. it's as far as natural coping mechanisms get
Alexa אומר/ת:
disassociative in the sense that you emotionally detach yourself?
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
it's a bit more complicated.
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
ok, i thought of an example. when i write a sentence, and i don't know if to write 'i' 'you' or 'they' anymore, because i don't have a sense of self
Alexa אומר/ת:
*nod*
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
so even though they thought i was being a troll, they were right i was deliberately dumb about what i'd meant to say
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
so yeah, when i already told richey fucked me up, i actually got a bit of insight on that
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
it's not 'mind reading' in any way, neither the psychic or psychotic sense, i was triggered by him
Alexa אומר/ת:
*nod*
Alexa אומר/ת:
that makes sense
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
and it's taken me so long to put my finger on such a simple thing
Alexa אומר/ת:
I feel like I did the same thing, and someone told me more or less that I was never actually depressed or had a real problem in the first place. Ha ha ha, hilarious
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
fuck em
Alexa אומר/ת:
I thought if you wanted to die, that was pretty much the only criterion you needed to know there was a problem
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
*nods*
Alexa אומר/ת:
and I wasn't going to ask for help because I "didn't deserve it".
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
Thought so as well. In a way, I still believe in it
Alexa אומר/ת:
it's a hard thing to disabuse oneself of. but it's completely untrue
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
You'd imagine trusting someone to tell you what to do would be the problem of a lot of mentally ill people in the first place
Alexa אומר/ת:
it absolutely is
Alexa אומר/ת:
and also the thought that if you're already a burden on your loved ones, why would you make it worse for them?
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
i'm doing everything for one person which i had already told you is not an healthy thing to think
Alexa אומר/ת:
probably not. i think the only really healthy person to do everything for is yourself. human nature = our own destruction
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
i wonder what i could do for myself. really.
Alexa אומר/ת:
i'm trying to listen only to myself right now. it's very difficult. it's like ripping off a bandage, like you know it needs to happen but it's very painful
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
*nods*
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
i think the thing that has made me feel better, was that previously when i'd released a lot of anger, i got sent straight to hospital. or to get diagnosed in the first place. but now i went through the process alone, with everything that went on the internets dramsa
Alexa אומר/ת:
*nod* I think maybe it makes you more in control of yourself
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
i have my own coping mechanisms. i actually KNOW since my last hospitalisation that i'm disassociative. it's as far as natural coping mechanisms get
Alexa אומר/ת:
disassociative in the sense that you emotionally detach yourself?
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
it's a bit more complicated.
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
ok, i thought of an example. when i write a sentence, and i don't know if to write 'i' 'you' or 'they' anymore, because i don't have a sense of self
Alexa אומר/ת:
*nod*
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
so even though they thought i was being a troll, they were right i was deliberately dumb about what i'd meant to say
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
so yeah, when i already told richey fucked me up, i actually got a bit of insight on that
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
it's not 'mind reading' in any way, neither the psychic or psychotic sense, i was triggered by him
Alexa אומר/ת:
*nod*
Alexa אומר/ת:
that makes sense
It's Not War, Just The End Of Love אומר/ת:
and it's taken me so long to put my finger on such a simple thing