My ode to being sick
I don't understand why more people don't want to be sick more often. There's TONS of things that I love about being sick but here's my top 10:
10. Housework- I really think it's awesome to have to do housework when I barely have the strength to get out of bed.
9.Mucous-I can't remember when I had more fun in the mornings. I mean, who needs to worry about their kid getting their breakfast and lunch when you can be spitting gross things into napkins, and trashcans....
8. Mucous After taste- That very appealing taste that you in mouth (from trying to hock all the crap up) that inevitably leads to sick breath.
7. Sick breath- nothing is hotter than sick breath. It makes me want to to awesome (and very adult) things.
6. Fevers- Nothing gets me more hot than a fever...especially those really cool ones that have me wrapped up in my thickest hoodie, jammie pants, and socks...in a house that's 77 degrees in the afternoon.
5.Constant Coughing- Screw work out machines and exercise balls!!! This is how I work out my core!!! Which of course leads me to #4 and #3.
4.Body Aches- Nothing says lovin' like being super sore!!!
3.Raspy voice/NO VOICE- Well this one just SCREAMS for itself now doesn't it? There is nothing sexier than a woman who sounds like a person who has been smoking womb to tomb...
2.Bodily noises- When I'm sick (and I can't speak for the rest of you), I have a tendency to go through a routine. I get up (coughing up awesome stuff), go to the bathroom (where naturally every echos) where everyone can hear me coughing up stuff that makes people jealous, take a shower (were of course I precede to make unholy sounds that would make Linda Blair cringe) where I attempt to clear out my congestion as much as possible.
And of course...
1.Sex- After all the fun things that I've listed here. My husband still finds me somewhat attractive and will still hit on me. Now who would love that??? A husband who is a) turned on by the sound of the Marlboro man, b) willing to do ALL the work (because lets face it, when I'm sick, I'm just down right LAZY), and c) CLEARLY mentally DISTURBED!