Confused... :-/
Yesterday was terrible... I felt so out of place... I barely knew anyone i was around, and the one
"person" i wanted to talk to was off with the other people and barely talked to me.. But i'm not mad at him for it.. The resolution to it all kinda made it better..
So while we were leaving, the "person" i was trying to comfort and be around all day got upset and i was there for him... I didn't really wanna be right there staring him down as he was upset, but i just couldn't stand to see him upset.. But then phillip made a stupid comment that made him more upset and pissed me off.. I was furious... I was ready to whoop some ass.. But i didn't~
So we leave and he's still upset... I couldn't do anything.. I could hold him or touch him because he was shove me away.. I didn't hate him for it.. he was upset!! But then a really cool song came on and he started smiling.. I loved that~
(try to keep up... this is where it gets confusing...)
However, once we got to McDonald's, it only got worse~ We got our food and all six of us were crammed into a booth... Then phillip told me to "go fuck my mom" and the "person" got upset and made a face and then phillip said "I'm gunna cut your throat!!" making fun of the "person".. He was like let me out.. I wouldn't let him get up because i thought he was gunna sock phillip.. Well "out of anger" he says "Get up or i'm going to move your fat ass!!" My heart sank into my stomach... I got up and sat back down.. Just staring out the window behind phillip..
I couldn't handle those two words coming from his mouth... I got upset real quick and offered my food to everyone at the table... I was pissed off and hurt that he called me fat.. I flipped my flops and got out off that bitch..
So i get into phillip's car and i'm really upset... I didn't see the "person" in the car next to me, so i just sat there, thinking about a lot of things... But my weight, a bitter subject already, just crushed my soul.. I started crying..
After about a half hour of crying, everyone comes out side and phillip tried to explain that the "person" just said that because he was pissed.. That didn't fly with me at first.. I was SOOOO pissed.. But then another person from our group started talking to me and said i should go talk to him.. I told him no, that he can come and apologize first..
Well i get a text message from the "person" and he said "please come over here".. I threw my drink away and flopped over to where he was...
When i came around the corner, he was standing there... In shadows.. He came closer to me and wrapped his arms around me.. I couldn't take it.. I started crying right then and there... While i was sobbing, he whispered in my ear that he was sorry about what he said... I understood after a half hour of talking..
So now that the story's out of the way, lets touch the sensitive part.. My feelings..
Now that the night is over, i wonder why the "person" acted the way he did.. I understand he was upset, but come on now!! But now i'm sitting here, complaining about how my day turned sour and ended well, in my book, and the fact that i'm basically in love.. I dnt know what to do... But that'll never change!!!
Tommi <|3
"person" i wanted to talk to was off with the other people and barely talked to me.. But i'm not mad at him for it.. The resolution to it all kinda made it better..
So while we were leaving, the "person" i was trying to comfort and be around all day got upset and i was there for him... I didn't really wanna be right there staring him down as he was upset, but i just couldn't stand to see him upset.. But then phillip made a stupid comment that made him more upset and pissed me off.. I was furious... I was ready to whoop some ass.. But i didn't~
So we leave and he's still upset... I couldn't do anything.. I could hold him or touch him because he was shove me away.. I didn't hate him for it.. he was upset!! But then a really cool song came on and he started smiling.. I loved that~
(try to keep up... this is where it gets confusing...)
However, once we got to McDonald's, it only got worse~ We got our food and all six of us were crammed into a booth... Then phillip told me to "go fuck my mom" and the "person" got upset and made a face and then phillip said "I'm gunna cut your throat!!" making fun of the "person".. He was like let me out.. I wouldn't let him get up because i thought he was gunna sock phillip.. Well "out of anger" he says "Get up or i'm going to move your fat ass!!" My heart sank into my stomach... I got up and sat back down.. Just staring out the window behind phillip..
I couldn't handle those two words coming from his mouth... I got upset real quick and offered my food to everyone at the table... I was pissed off and hurt that he called me fat.. I flipped my flops and got out off that bitch..
So i get into phillip's car and i'm really upset... I didn't see the "person" in the car next to me, so i just sat there, thinking about a lot of things... But my weight, a bitter subject already, just crushed my soul.. I started crying..
After about a half hour of crying, everyone comes out side and phillip tried to explain that the "person" just said that because he was pissed.. That didn't fly with me at first.. I was SOOOO pissed.. But then another person from our group started talking to me and said i should go talk to him.. I told him no, that he can come and apologize first..
Well i get a text message from the "person" and he said "please come over here".. I threw my drink away and flopped over to where he was...
When i came around the corner, he was standing there... In shadows.. He came closer to me and wrapped his arms around me.. I couldn't take it.. I started crying right then and there... While i was sobbing, he whispered in my ear that he was sorry about what he said... I understood after a half hour of talking..
So now that the story's out of the way, lets touch the sensitive part.. My feelings..
Now that the night is over, i wonder why the "person" acted the way he did.. I understand he was upset, but come on now!! But now i'm sitting here, complaining about how my day turned sour and ended well, in my book, and the fact that i'm basically in love.. I dnt know what to do... But that'll never change!!!
Tommi <|3