Girls in Bars...
Spent yesterday doing play stuff (aka working). It felt good to be productive, finally. I bought some props and costume pieces, and got annoyed that the kids won't listen to me when I'm telling them to be quiet. I guess it's hard to be 10 and quiet for long stretches. It makes me wonder - do I really want to work with kids? I think I work better with adults because I can convince them that theater matters and they are responsible for their actions - whether it's talking in class or whatever the case may be. I just find kids uncontrollable. Hmmph.
I convinced my 2 housemates N and R to join me for shrimp night at the local lesbian bar, HB's. We got there early in the evening - about 7:30, and the ladies stayed for about an hour. I was bought one jell-o shot and given another, and had a gin and tonic with dinner, so I stayed around for a bit, to wear off the alcohol and see who would show up. At about 9:30 ish the girls I've been hanging out with lately showed, so we hung out, and more people showed up at about 11. There was copius amounts of drinking (by them) and a few dozen more jell-o shots (by all). The evening ended with about 12 people total in the bar, most of whom were hanging out with us. Girls were showing thier titties. Girls were showing their clits and piercings. I showed neither, thank you. I was sober by the time all this was going on.
It was all fun and games until these two new women showed up. One Scottish, the other Puerto Rican. They're 40-ish and neighbors. They were being nice but a bit pushy, and I was having fun until the PR one mentioned that she was there "because she had gastric bypass surgery and used to weigh 400lbs." Well, lady, thanks for CRASHING my good mood. All of a sudden I'm the fat girl, the one who needs surgery to be okay, to be skinny (like her), to be pretty, to be worthwhile. Fuck you lady, if you see me happy, leave me the fuck alone, I don't need anyone reminding me how big I am. I do not weigh 400 lbs, and I'm even keeping myself below 350. Of course, I'm fat. I know that! I'm trying to eat healthy and be healthy, and of course I'd love to lose about 200 lbs. But when I'm having a good time, and forgetting my insecurities due to my sheer size, leave me alone, don't remind me.
It's not enough that every time I look at a mirror, or look down, or try to fit between 2 people, or through a small space, or try clothes on, or try to get a date, or try to eat in a restaurant that I'm CONSTANTLY reminded of how BIG I am. I need strangers telling me too? Fuck off.
Of course I smiled and said yeah, when I get health insurance... blah blah blah.
Those two ended up monopolizing people's time and trying to steal someone's cigarettes, and bringing the mood down. I hope they don't show up again.
I convinced my 2 housemates N and R to join me for shrimp night at the local lesbian bar, HB's. We got there early in the evening - about 7:30, and the ladies stayed for about an hour. I was bought one jell-o shot and given another, and had a gin and tonic with dinner, so I stayed around for a bit, to wear off the alcohol and see who would show up. At about 9:30 ish the girls I've been hanging out with lately showed, so we hung out, and more people showed up at about 11. There was copius amounts of drinking (by them) and a few dozen more jell-o shots (by all). The evening ended with about 12 people total in the bar, most of whom were hanging out with us. Girls were showing thier titties. Girls were showing their clits and piercings. I showed neither, thank you. I was sober by the time all this was going on.
It was all fun and games until these two new women showed up. One Scottish, the other Puerto Rican. They're 40-ish and neighbors. They were being nice but a bit pushy, and I was having fun until the PR one mentioned that she was there "because she had gastric bypass surgery and used to weigh 400lbs." Well, lady, thanks for CRASHING my good mood. All of a sudden I'm the fat girl, the one who needs surgery to be okay, to be skinny (like her), to be pretty, to be worthwhile. Fuck you lady, if you see me happy, leave me the fuck alone, I don't need anyone reminding me how big I am. I do not weigh 400 lbs, and I'm even keeping myself below 350. Of course, I'm fat. I know that! I'm trying to eat healthy and be healthy, and of course I'd love to lose about 200 lbs. But when I'm having a good time, and forgetting my insecurities due to my sheer size, leave me alone, don't remind me.
It's not enough that every time I look at a mirror, or look down, or try to fit between 2 people, or through a small space, or try clothes on, or try to get a date, or try to eat in a restaurant that I'm CONSTANTLY reminded of how BIG I am. I need strangers telling me too? Fuck off.
Of course I smiled and said yeah, when I get health insurance... blah blah blah.
Those two ended up monopolizing people's time and trying to steal someone's cigarettes, and bringing the mood down. I hope they don't show up again.