He left the hospital and he’s walking around now but he didn’t survive it at all.

[asklepiades]

Just tell me something cold and give me something lous to drink and lay down on my coaster spinning flips down on my coaster. You can lay there any day just take another hit and invite yourself back in - eyes and words are contracts but youve broken all the vows and its only in my mind that i will ever come back down. The real me is lost. The real me never survived you climbing on that stage to praise, never lived past notes in bus rides and heads pressed against glass panes. And if you really care to measure than forget about the word tee. Because it doesn’t mean a thing to me since i didnt live to see a thing. Holding doors on story five and balancing in the park. Climbing trees and burnt cds and sand castles after dark. None of it was ever real and i still forget the days. Cant stay in touch with friends and such and still have them the same way.

I never blamed anyone but myself for watching them all die.
But noone seemed to mind and all of them said it was fine.

I know you were hurting. I knew it the second we met