I close my eyes when I get too sad, I think thoughts that I know are bad
I wish I could count to 10
Make everything be wonderful again...
Well...things are....I don't know? I think too much. I wish too much. I believe too much. I don't really know what I want anymore, I guess I'm just a stupid female who can't get her head straight. What happens when you get everything that you've ever dreamed of and more? I have everything every girl dreams of but for some reason I don't know what to do. Most people would say "Hey, congrat's you've got everything just the way you have always wanted it to be so just shut up and be happy god damnit!" but for some reason it just doesnt feel the way I thought it would. It's like what everyone dreams of but when it comes around to me its the wrong time. But then again most likely its me being over dramatic but I just confuse myself even more. I feel like I want some excitement and just go out and meet crazy people and do random stuff and just live life without any worries. I end up doing that for the most part, but then there are those occational 2 or 3 hours in a day when everyone might be busy so I chill out at home by myself. But then I get to thinking and feel lonely and just want someone to be there all the time if I need them, I can call them when I get lonely, even when I'm not, and just know that they want to spend time with me cause they really want to not just cuz they have nothing to do or feel like they have to, I want someone to call me and be like "hey lets go do this.." and I'd be like "okay lets go" and we would. Just randomly. Like no planning, no worries, no caring, just like..go. I don't know. I need to get my f-ing license cause that will just change everything. Maybe I just need to do my own thing for awhile I don't know. Just be crazy and get it out of my system I guess? I just want to be me and do random stuff and not care about anything but that never seems to be possible. I am happy, but I always try to be happy so I guess everything isn't all that bad. Things will work themselves out in the end...they always do...
Make everything be wonderful again...
Well...things are....I don't know? I think too much. I wish too much. I believe too much. I don't really know what I want anymore, I guess I'm just a stupid female who can't get her head straight. What happens when you get everything that you've ever dreamed of and more? I have everything every girl dreams of but for some reason I don't know what to do. Most people would say "Hey, congrat's you've got everything just the way you have always wanted it to be so just shut up and be happy god damnit!" but for some reason it just doesnt feel the way I thought it would. It's like what everyone dreams of but when it comes around to me its the wrong time. But then again most likely its me being over dramatic but I just confuse myself even more. I feel like I want some excitement and just go out and meet crazy people and do random stuff and just live life without any worries. I end up doing that for the most part, but then there are those occational 2 or 3 hours in a day when everyone might be busy so I chill out at home by myself. But then I get to thinking and feel lonely and just want someone to be there all the time if I need them, I can call them when I get lonely, even when I'm not, and just know that they want to spend time with me cause they really want to not just cuz they have nothing to do or feel like they have to, I want someone to call me and be like "hey lets go do this.." and I'd be like "okay lets go" and we would. Just randomly. Like no planning, no worries, no caring, just like..go. I don't know. I need to get my f-ing license cause that will just change everything. Maybe I just need to do my own thing for awhile I don't know. Just be crazy and get it out of my system I guess? I just want to be me and do random stuff and not care about anything but that never seems to be possible. I am happy, but I always try to be happy so I guess everything isn't all that bad. Things will work themselves out in the end...they always do...