(no subject)
you know how dunkin donuts' new ad slogan featuring john "nothing says i'm a big fat ass like being dunkin donuts' spokesperson" goodman is, "america runs on dunkin"? yes this may be pretty true considering they do have damn good coffee, regardless of which location you go to. however, i've joked about it before, but it couldn't be any more truer today. that joke being they should change the slogan to "dunkin gives america the runs". i've been awake since 6am. there's virtually no food in my house so me and my dad went over and got breakfast sammiches. now, i do love their supreme omelet sandwich on a croissant with bacon. that is my SHIT. but today it GAVE me the shits because instead i got sausage. boy oh boy was that the biggest mistake of my life. so here i am, incapable of driving to work because i have massive massive massive diarrhea and nausea. i am forever boycotting dunkin donuts. kiss my dick, i'll get my donuts and breakfast sandwiches from wawa.
so anyway i'm just relaxing at home til this thing hopefully passes and i can go jump on at work, or at the very least pick up my paycheck. it's bad though, bad enuff that i can't sit in the car for an hour. just my body's way of saying, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" i think pooping is getting pretty old, i should get like corrective plastic surgery to stop pooping. let's close the trap door, maybe i'll get my butthole sewn shut. party time. excellent.
who loves liquid bandage? it burns like fuckshithooker and smells god awful, but it does work like a son of a bitch. i stabbed the palm of my hand the other day and i have a gross oozing blister on my knuckle but today they're sealed off from infection and impending doom via shark attacks. thanx new skin.
i don't like new jersey or the people from it.
hopefully this weekend we'll be booking our hotel for vacation. also i'll finally be picking up my new truck and sunday we'll be attending what i'm assuming is a bbq at sarah's mom's house for memorial day. we don't know many details or even how to get there lol, but her aunts and such will be in attendance and her family is fun so it'll be a good time. kermit's gonna come too i think and hang out with the other animals. but it'll be fun even if i do have to talk to larry. but larry only has one eye now...kinda like a pirate, so it's cool.
time to poop again.
i loled in my livejournal. that's like 24 scene points with 2 additional bonus points for being awesome for quoting waynes world AND using the word "oozing". i'm So0o0o (<---zeros, not capital O's) cool. YES!!!
so anyway i'm just relaxing at home til this thing hopefully passes and i can go jump on at work, or at the very least pick up my paycheck. it's bad though, bad enuff that i can't sit in the car for an hour. just my body's way of saying, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" i think pooping is getting pretty old, i should get like corrective plastic surgery to stop pooping. let's close the trap door, maybe i'll get my butthole sewn shut. party time. excellent.
who loves liquid bandage? it burns like fuckshithooker and smells god awful, but it does work like a son of a bitch. i stabbed the palm of my hand the other day and i have a gross oozing blister on my knuckle but today they're sealed off from infection and impending doom via shark attacks. thanx new skin.
i don't like new jersey or the people from it.
hopefully this weekend we'll be booking our hotel for vacation. also i'll finally be picking up my new truck and sunday we'll be attending what i'm assuming is a bbq at sarah's mom's house for memorial day. we don't know many details or even how to get there lol, but her aunts and such will be in attendance and her family is fun so it'll be a good time. kermit's gonna come too i think and hang out with the other animals. but it'll be fun even if i do have to talk to larry. but larry only has one eye now...kinda like a pirate, so it's cool.
time to poop again.
i loled in my livejournal. that's like 24 scene points with 2 additional bonus points for being awesome for quoting waynes world AND using the word "oozing". i'm So0o0o (<---zeros, not capital O's) cool. YES!!!