sinking ships.
she said, "it must be cool to be able to do what you do."
i said that it came with its benefits and its pitfalls. that security is non-existent and i worry every single day but that the trade off was worth it. most of the time.
she said, "it must be difficult to constantly come up with new ideas."
i said that was one of the most difficult challenges. that no one wants to hear the same record over and over again. that despite how good 'take this to your grave' was, it would be shitty if dudes tried to rehash the same sound and stomp it into the ground like so many others do. that the people who rise above are the innovators. and innovators take a lot of shit for sticking their necks out. they are the risk-takers and boat-shakers. most of the time they crash and burn but at least ALL of the time they tried something new.
i started writing to learn more about myself. to help make sense of it all. along the way some of you supported me because there was something you found within my journey. whether you identified or whether i was just simple entertainment, i kept digging. but i cant keep writing the same record. i cant keep giving people what they expect. i have to remember that nervous feeling that drove me to write those first stories in that first book that was never supposed to be. those first stories were dark nights in a freezing apartment written to an audience of skeptical kids with anonymous fingers and livejournal accounts. those stories were written with serious apprehension... and like ive always said, the only way i know that i am writing well is when what im writing about causes me to feel uneasy, uncomfortable and hesitant to press that "post to askheychris" button.
so its time to get back to that.
a while ago i began keeping a secret journal to help me write through the issues i have with intimacy. its rough. its uncomfortable for even me to go back and read. but last night i made the decision that these stories will be the basis for my next book.
it will offend some of you. it will shock some of you. some of you may identify with it, but most of you probably wont. right now is a overwhelming time in my life. the way i have been conducting myself scares me. but what i am beginning to learn, through these stories, is that never in all of my life have i been so desperate to understand the seeds that were planted within me.
this book will ensure that no woman will ever touch me again.
this book is as vulnerable as it gets.
this book scares the fuck out of me.
and THAT is how i know i am doing my job well.
i said that it came with its benefits and its pitfalls. that security is non-existent and i worry every single day but that the trade off was worth it. most of the time.
she said, "it must be difficult to constantly come up with new ideas."
i said that was one of the most difficult challenges. that no one wants to hear the same record over and over again. that despite how good 'take this to your grave' was, it would be shitty if dudes tried to rehash the same sound and stomp it into the ground like so many others do. that the people who rise above are the innovators. and innovators take a lot of shit for sticking their necks out. they are the risk-takers and boat-shakers. most of the time they crash and burn but at least ALL of the time they tried something new.
i started writing to learn more about myself. to help make sense of it all. along the way some of you supported me because there was something you found within my journey. whether you identified or whether i was just simple entertainment, i kept digging. but i cant keep writing the same record. i cant keep giving people what they expect. i have to remember that nervous feeling that drove me to write those first stories in that first book that was never supposed to be. those first stories were dark nights in a freezing apartment written to an audience of skeptical kids with anonymous fingers and livejournal accounts. those stories were written with serious apprehension... and like ive always said, the only way i know that i am writing well is when what im writing about causes me to feel uneasy, uncomfortable and hesitant to press that "post to askheychris" button.
so its time to get back to that.
a while ago i began keeping a secret journal to help me write through the issues i have with intimacy. its rough. its uncomfortable for even me to go back and read. but last night i made the decision that these stories will be the basis for my next book.
it will offend some of you. it will shock some of you. some of you may identify with it, but most of you probably wont. right now is a overwhelming time in my life. the way i have been conducting myself scares me. but what i am beginning to learn, through these stories, is that never in all of my life have i been so desperate to understand the seeds that were planted within me.
this book will ensure that no woman will ever touch me again.
this book is as vulnerable as it gets.
this book scares the fuck out of me.
and THAT is how i know i am doing my job well.