Teamwork crack/future discussion
So the last child of Team Seven I have in mind is Uchiha Yukito -- a boy, then, born when Sakura is about 45 or possibly even later... yes, she's menopausal by then, advanced medical jutsu FTW! The kid is born via artificial insemination, because even though Sakura carries him, genetically, apart from her mitochondrial DNA he really is a pure Sasuke/Naruto baby. (basically they found a way to empty one of her ovums from her own DNA and replace it with Naruto's. Or maybe Sasuke's. I haven't decided yet who wins the battle for "No, YOU get to be Yukito's biological mom!")
This is what I know about him:
For someone who is made in equal parts of Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto's genes, Yukito's mild, laid-back disposition is nothing short of confounding. Sometimes Sakura entertains herself with the thought that her last child is so easy-going out of sheer perverseness. No doubt he would have inherited it straight from her, somehow.
Yukito has grayish brown hair, and also the sharingan, but he'll never develop it farther than the second tomoe. He's content with being average. Everyone in his family is extreme in some way and it's all very tiring, really. D:
But anyway.
I was toying with the thought of a real threesome baby, though truly since a kid gets half and half from their parents it's a bit hard to have three parents, unless you pick and choose who gives which genes, and that would take CENTURIES. But maybe you could merge two sperm cells and get that one to fertilize the egg, and then the baby would be half Sakura and one fourth each Naruto and Sasuke. (no sharingan for that one.) But at her age, Sakura can't really afford to have more than one, very closely supervised pregnancy. Even that one wouldn't be great fpor her health, so two of them back to back would be too much.
.. Twins are hardly an easy pregnancy, but she figures they'd still tire her out less than two separate ones, especially ones as medically watched over. I'm just not sure which medical discovery would come first (the two father, no mother thing, or the two-fathers-merged-as-one, one mother.) Because the offer Sakura made was basically to let Sasuke and Naruto experience the one single bond they yet hadn't, which is all very selfless, but if they can make threesome babies... um.
Then again it might be easier to merge two sperm cells with medical jutsu and then use those than to do the ovum thing, so Sakura might mention it as a stepping stone on the way to the two-dads thing, and later they might suggest to use it as well, half as her "reward" for being so selfless, a kid who is more her than either of them, but also either of them, and half because omg threesome baby. Also, maximizing uchiha clan genetic diversity is always good.
But, I don't know. If they can do one, would they really do the other one. Both solutions make the other one a bit redundant.
Then again is there really a ceiling on happiness and empty nest syndrome. XD
But just in case, the threesome baby would be a girl called Kahen, which means petal, because Sakura's mom is Hana (flower) and Sakura is a specific type of flower, so she might as well go with part-of-flower for the third generation. (dunno what Kahen'd call her own kid, though. Chlorophyll cell? XD)
I have NO IDEA what her personality would be like, though. >___> I planned the other three around subverted Mary-Sue types to give myself a starting point (team seven children would veer close to Sue just by virtue of having the parents they have anyway), but I already have the FemmeFataleSue type and the PrettierAndBitchierThanYou!Uchiha type and the... well, first kid is still spoiler. What could I twist -- oh my god, a GothSue. XD ("Kahen? KAHEN??? MY NAME IS OOKAMI MOONRAVEN!!" pffff) okay um maybe not... Maybe not even a sue-type either.
Suggestions?
edit:
book_people: ...pffffahahahahaha
book_people: They'd be so perplexed if their child decided to become a goth
book_people: Sakura and Naruto would blame Sasuke, who would be like "I have never worn that much eyeliner, how is this my fault?"
book_people: But anyway, I like the idea of SasuNaru baby subverting the "any child whose biological parents were Sasuke and Naruto would be the most awesome ninja ever, and also a carbon copy of one of his parents personality-wise:
book_people: (please note: I was not implying that Sasuke wears eyeliner, because he does not)
book_people: (which is the point)
book_people: (do any of them even own eyeliner?)
askerian: LOL
askerian: sakura?
book_people: Mm.
book_people: Likely
book_people: Oh man, can you imagine her trying to get her parents to use her chosen goth name? How much you wanna bet Sasuke would pretend that he didn't hear the correction?
book_people: Sakura would do what my mom did when I decided I'd prefer to use my nickname: "But I like your name! I chose it for you! You don't like it? D: "
askerian: ahahaha XDDD
book_people: Okay, okay. I'm done, really.
book_people: ...oh god, would Naruto try to honor her request and use the name with a really pained look on his face?
askerian: naruto would totally call her by that name with great enthusiasm.
book_people: *dies laughing*
(blahblah spoilery list of other kids)
askerian: and then there's yukito who's pretty much shikamaru without the scary intellect -- he's smart, just not THAT smart -- and possibly gothy-chan. hmm.
book_people: and her family is all "I love you, but sometimes I want to kill you"?
askerian: yeah XD
book_people: So, Yukito becomes a ninja, but more or less doesn't care that he's never going to be higher than a chuunin at his best?
askerian: yeah, he's okay withthat
book_people: ...do his parents kind of have pained looks on their faces when he announces this?
askerian: especially since they're still in peace time
askerian: oh no, after XXXXXX they're just really happy he wants to be a ninja at all
book_people: XDDDD
(... more kids and parents stuff...)
book_people: I like that there's a real family dynamic amongst the kids and their parents. So many people flub that, I think. Families are never perfect, we all get along all the time utopias.
book_people: I even like the fact that Kahen may go through a "woe is me, the world is a horrible place and nobody understands me I will wear all black and change my name and moan about the lack of art in the world" phase. It's such a teenager thing to do, you know? Kind of implies that Team 7 are good parents, all told, if she feels comfortable enough to do it.
askerian: XD
askerian: yeah, very good point u.u
askerian: or maybe she could be a hime-sama type sue. XD
askerian: how to subvert that though...
book_people: mm
book_people: that's the trouble
askerian: annoying spoiled brat is already covered XD
book_people: well, she could try to be understanding of the world and instead come off as sort of condescending?
book_people: like, her way is the only way to live, and she knows best, and clearly you simply do not know the pleasures of such, allow her to "help" you for she is pure of heart and mind.
book_people: I dunno
askerian: eww. XD
askerian: gothy-chan is better for now XDD
askerian: it's likely just a phase, anyway, and she'll come out all well adjusted and stuff
askerian: and neither kitsune nor sharinganed. XD
book_people: ahha
book_people: good
book_people: I like gothy-chan better
book_people: problem with hime-sues is that they are always, always annoying
book_people: gothy-chan, on the other hand, is more or less a normal teenager going through a phase
askerian: yeah u.u
book_people: (although I may be voting for this just because "OOKAMI MOONRAVEN" is the most hilarious goth name ever)
askerian: XD
askerian: kyuubi: ........ you couldn't have gone with kitsune? 'che.
book_people: *dies*
askerian: then again by that point kyuubi and naruto aren't really separate
book_people: it would be funny if Naruto occasionally tries to make her use kitsune instead, on top of enthusiastically calling her Ookami Moonraven (the whole name, all the time)
book_people: and Sakura is all "stop it you're encouraging her"
askerian: XD
askerian: ... "Oh! Oh! Can I be kitsune feathersky??? :-D "
askerian: "... DAAAAAAAAAAD."
book_people: HAHAHAHA
askerian: "Feathersky RAMENSTAND."
book_people: *chokes*
askerian: "I'm cursing you with my book of shadows tonight, just so you know."
book_people: oh my god, I just snorted lettuce up my nose
askerian: XD sorry?
book_people: it's fine! totally worth it
book_people: "Ooh, you have one of those? Can I see?"
book_people: Sasuke, of course, is mostly pretending that none of this is happening.
book_people: He will later pretend that Kahen went from twelve to about 18 over-night
askerian: XDDDDDDDDD
askerian: one evening naruto would borrow her black nailpolish and put it on EVERYONE. even sasuke
askerian: sasuke wouldn't kill him, because naruto gives great head. >>
askerian: and when she comes home for dinner they'd all pretend like nothing happened
book_people: ahahahaha
askerian: with their black nails like their souls.
book_people: HAHAHAHA
book_people: and she's all like "...is that my nail polish?" "No. Pass the salad."
askerian: pfff
askerian: "Sasuke had a troubled youth."
sasuke: ...... *can't even say that's false*
book_people: oh my god *dying*
askerian: sasuke: i never did get to put on nailpolish. u.u;;
askerian: naruto: aww. There, there, now you can!
book_people: "This is why you have children!"
askerian: "... Kittycrow Eaglewing?"
Sasuke: .......................... >__> you owe me two now.
kids: two what?
sasuke: nothing you're interested in.
naruto: pfff, like you still have that kind of stamina.
book_people: oh dear god
askerian: kids: ................. DX DAD. FATHER. YOU'RE LIKE A HUNDRED YEAR OLD.
book_people: Naruto: "...how did you think you all came into existence?"
askerian: Sakura: The spirit is willing... thankfully, medical ninjutsu is great to support weakened flesh.
kids: AUUUUUUUUGH.
Sakura: More rice?
book_people: ♥♥♥♥
book_people: Naruto: "Whose flesh are you calling weakened?"
askerian: Yukito: ... I understand why you're taking her down in a HUGE BALL OF FIRE, seriously, but. collateral damage here?
Naruto: *pat pat* there, there. Take it like a man. See it as her revenge for her super pretty porcelain doll you broke.
Yukito: she's been taking revenge for that one for the last six years! DX
askerian: XDD
askerian: Naruto: And now you're going to be able to take revenge on her for the rest of her life. Ookami Moonraven~ What a prettiful name~
book_people: One day, she will realize how horribly ridiculous all of this was, and nobody will let her forget it. Except Sasuke, who as previously stated is pretending it never happened.
askerian: u.u~
book_people: I'll bet the porcelain doll was the start of her downward spiral into the darkest shadows of her black soul.
askerian: Her heart fractured like that doll head in a thousand slim shards! never to be reglued together again!
askerian: meanwhile the other three kids are SO GLAD they moved out already
book_people: She turned a piece of it into a necklace, so that she might always keep with her a reminder of the fragility of the human heart
askerian: u.u Also scratch decorative patterns on the back of her arm. But not too deep.
askerian: cause that shit hurts.
book_people: XD
book_people: ...oh lord, I think maybe her parents might actually have a serious word with her about that.
askerian: it'd all be very thin scratches that don't even break the skin. XD
askerian: like you rub some spit on it and it's all gone like magic
book_people: oh. Never mind, then. Not like she doesn't get worse every day in training
book_people: ...oh. Does she become a ninja?
book_people: She asks her parents for permission (and money) to get a really angsty haiku tattooed somewhere on her body. Sakura is all "...Honey, why don't you wait until--how old are you now? Fifteen?--why don't you wait until you're eighteen to start thinking about tattoos"
book_people: This, of course, is further proof that nobody understands the depth of her pain
askerian: i think she becomes a ninja too, but hey, it's peace time! it's boring XD
This is what I know about him:
For someone who is made in equal parts of Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto's genes, Yukito's mild, laid-back disposition is nothing short of confounding. Sometimes Sakura entertains herself with the thought that her last child is so easy-going out of sheer perverseness. No doubt he would have inherited it straight from her, somehow.
Yukito has grayish brown hair, and also the sharingan, but he'll never develop it farther than the second tomoe. He's content with being average. Everyone in his family is extreme in some way and it's all very tiring, really. D:
But anyway.
I was toying with the thought of a real threesome baby, though truly since a kid gets half and half from their parents it's a bit hard to have three parents, unless you pick and choose who gives which genes, and that would take CENTURIES. But maybe you could merge two sperm cells and get that one to fertilize the egg, and then the baby would be half Sakura and one fourth each Naruto and Sasuke. (no sharingan for that one.) But at her age, Sakura can't really afford to have more than one, very closely supervised pregnancy. Even that one wouldn't be great fpor her health, so two of them back to back would be too much.
.. Twins are hardly an easy pregnancy, but she figures they'd still tire her out less than two separate ones, especially ones as medically watched over. I'm just not sure which medical discovery would come first (the two father, no mother thing, or the two-fathers-merged-as-one, one mother.) Because the offer Sakura made was basically to let Sasuke and Naruto experience the one single bond they yet hadn't, which is all very selfless, but if they can make threesome babies... um.
Then again it might be easier to merge two sperm cells with medical jutsu and then use those than to do the ovum thing, so Sakura might mention it as a stepping stone on the way to the two-dads thing, and later they might suggest to use it as well, half as her "reward" for being so selfless, a kid who is more her than either of them, but also either of them, and half because omg threesome baby. Also, maximizing uchiha clan genetic diversity is always good.
But, I don't know. If they can do one, would they really do the other one. Both solutions make the other one a bit redundant.
Then again is there really a ceiling on happiness and empty nest syndrome. XD
But just in case, the threesome baby would be a girl called Kahen, which means petal, because Sakura's mom is Hana (flower) and Sakura is a specific type of flower, so she might as well go with part-of-flower for the third generation. (dunno what Kahen'd call her own kid, though. Chlorophyll cell? XD)
I have NO IDEA what her personality would be like, though. >___> I planned the other three around subverted Mary-Sue types to give myself a starting point (team seven children would veer close to Sue just by virtue of having the parents they have anyway), but I already have the FemmeFataleSue type and the PrettierAndBitchierThanYou!Uchiha type and the... well, first kid is still spoiler. What could I twist -- oh my god, a GothSue. XD ("Kahen? KAHEN??? MY NAME IS OOKAMI MOONRAVEN!!" pffff) okay um maybe not... Maybe not even a sue-type either.
Suggestions?
edit:
book_people: ...pffffahahahahaha
book_people: They'd be so perplexed if their child decided to become a goth
book_people: Sakura and Naruto would blame Sasuke, who would be like "I have never worn that much eyeliner, how is this my fault?"
book_people: But anyway, I like the idea of SasuNaru baby subverting the "any child whose biological parents were Sasuke and Naruto would be the most awesome ninja ever, and also a carbon copy of one of his parents personality-wise:
book_people: (please note: I was not implying that Sasuke wears eyeliner, because he does not)
book_people: (which is the point)
book_people: (do any of them even own eyeliner?)
askerian: LOL
askerian: sakura?
book_people: Mm.
book_people: Likely
book_people: Oh man, can you imagine her trying to get her parents to use her chosen goth name? How much you wanna bet Sasuke would pretend that he didn't hear the correction?
book_people: Sakura would do what my mom did when I decided I'd prefer to use my nickname: "But I like your name! I chose it for you! You don't like it? D: "
askerian: ahahaha XDDD
book_people: Okay, okay. I'm done, really.
book_people: ...oh god, would Naruto try to honor her request and use the name with a really pained look on his face?
askerian: naruto would totally call her by that name with great enthusiasm.
book_people: *dies laughing*
(blahblah spoilery list of other kids)
askerian: and then there's yukito who's pretty much shikamaru without the scary intellect -- he's smart, just not THAT smart -- and possibly gothy-chan. hmm.
book_people: and her family is all "I love you, but sometimes I want to kill you"?
askerian: yeah XD
book_people: So, Yukito becomes a ninja, but more or less doesn't care that he's never going to be higher than a chuunin at his best?
askerian: yeah, he's okay withthat
book_people: ...do his parents kind of have pained looks on their faces when he announces this?
askerian: especially since they're still in peace time
askerian: oh no, after XXXXXX they're just really happy he wants to be a ninja at all
book_people: XDDDD
(... more kids and parents stuff...)
book_people: I like that there's a real family dynamic amongst the kids and their parents. So many people flub that, I think. Families are never perfect, we all get along all the time utopias.
book_people: I even like the fact that Kahen may go through a "woe is me, the world is a horrible place and nobody understands me I will wear all black and change my name and moan about the lack of art in the world" phase. It's such a teenager thing to do, you know? Kind of implies that Team 7 are good parents, all told, if she feels comfortable enough to do it.
askerian: XD
askerian: yeah, very good point u.u
askerian: or maybe she could be a hime-sama type sue. XD
askerian: how to subvert that though...
book_people: mm
book_people: that's the trouble
askerian: annoying spoiled brat is already covered XD
book_people: well, she could try to be understanding of the world and instead come off as sort of condescending?
book_people: like, her way is the only way to live, and she knows best, and clearly you simply do not know the pleasures of such, allow her to "help" you for she is pure of heart and mind.
book_people: I dunno
askerian: eww. XD
askerian: gothy-chan is better for now XDD
askerian: it's likely just a phase, anyway, and she'll come out all well adjusted and stuff
askerian: and neither kitsune nor sharinganed. XD
book_people: ahha
book_people: good
book_people: I like gothy-chan better
book_people: problem with hime-sues is that they are always, always annoying
book_people: gothy-chan, on the other hand, is more or less a normal teenager going through a phase
askerian: yeah u.u
book_people: (although I may be voting for this just because "OOKAMI MOONRAVEN" is the most hilarious goth name ever)
askerian: XD
askerian: kyuubi: ........ you couldn't have gone with kitsune? 'che.
book_people: *dies*
askerian: then again by that point kyuubi and naruto aren't really separate
book_people: it would be funny if Naruto occasionally tries to make her use kitsune instead, on top of enthusiastically calling her Ookami Moonraven (the whole name, all the time)
book_people: and Sakura is all "stop it you're encouraging her"
askerian: XD
askerian: ... "Oh! Oh! Can I be kitsune feathersky??? :-D "
askerian: "... DAAAAAAAAAAD."
book_people: HAHAHAHA
askerian: "Feathersky RAMENSTAND."
book_people: *chokes*
askerian: "I'm cursing you with my book of shadows tonight, just so you know."
book_people: oh my god, I just snorted lettuce up my nose
askerian: XD sorry?
book_people: it's fine! totally worth it
book_people: "Ooh, you have one of those? Can I see?"
book_people: Sasuke, of course, is mostly pretending that none of this is happening.
book_people: He will later pretend that Kahen went from twelve to about 18 over-night
askerian: XDDDDDDDDD
askerian: one evening naruto would borrow her black nailpolish and put it on EVERYONE. even sasuke
askerian: sasuke wouldn't kill him, because naruto gives great head. >>
askerian: and when she comes home for dinner they'd all pretend like nothing happened
book_people: ahahahaha
askerian: with their black nails like their souls.
book_people: HAHAHAHA
book_people: and she's all like "...is that my nail polish?" "No. Pass the salad."
askerian: pfff
askerian: "Sasuke had a troubled youth."
sasuke: ...... *can't even say that's false*
book_people: oh my god *dying*
askerian: sasuke: i never did get to put on nailpolish. u.u;;
askerian: naruto: aww. There, there, now you can!
book_people: "This is why you have children!"
askerian: "... Kittycrow Eaglewing?"
Sasuke: .......................... >__> you owe me two now.
kids: two what?
sasuke: nothing you're interested in.
naruto: pfff, like you still have that kind of stamina.
book_people: oh dear god
askerian: kids: ................. DX DAD. FATHER. YOU'RE LIKE A HUNDRED YEAR OLD.
book_people: Naruto: "...how did you think you all came into existence?"
askerian: Sakura: The spirit is willing... thankfully, medical ninjutsu is great to support weakened flesh.
kids: AUUUUUUUUGH.
Sakura: More rice?
book_people: ♥♥♥♥
book_people: Naruto: "Whose flesh are you calling weakened?"
askerian: Yukito: ... I understand why you're taking her down in a HUGE BALL OF FIRE, seriously, but. collateral damage here?
Naruto: *pat pat* there, there. Take it like a man. See it as her revenge for her super pretty porcelain doll you broke.
Yukito: she's been taking revenge for that one for the last six years! DX
askerian: XDD
askerian: Naruto: And now you're going to be able to take revenge on her for the rest of her life. Ookami Moonraven~ What a prettiful name~
book_people: One day, she will realize how horribly ridiculous all of this was, and nobody will let her forget it. Except Sasuke, who as previously stated is pretending it never happened.
askerian: u.u~
book_people: I'll bet the porcelain doll was the start of her downward spiral into the darkest shadows of her black soul.
askerian: Her heart fractured like that doll head in a thousand slim shards! never to be reglued together again!
askerian: meanwhile the other three kids are SO GLAD they moved out already
book_people: She turned a piece of it into a necklace, so that she might always keep with her a reminder of the fragility of the human heart
askerian: u.u Also scratch decorative patterns on the back of her arm. But not too deep.
askerian: cause that shit hurts.
book_people: XD
book_people: ...oh lord, I think maybe her parents might actually have a serious word with her about that.
askerian: it'd all be very thin scratches that don't even break the skin. XD
askerian: like you rub some spit on it and it's all gone like magic
book_people: oh. Never mind, then. Not like she doesn't get worse every day in training
book_people: ...oh. Does she become a ninja?
book_people: She asks her parents for permission (and money) to get a really angsty haiku tattooed somewhere on her body. Sakura is all "...Honey, why don't you wait until--how old are you now? Fifteen?--why don't you wait until you're eighteen to start thinking about tattoos"
book_people: This, of course, is further proof that nobody understands the depth of her pain
askerian: i think she becomes a ninja too, but hey, it's peace time! it's boring XD