And shit just never gives up....
Man, I hate how life works. You can never get what you want...EVER! Well, at least that's how my life works. Well, this time it's not the fact I can't get what I want..I just can't get exactly what I want. Not only that, I'm just.. iono. I never been so alone. Friend wise, boyfriend wise, family wise. Just about everything all around. I'm not gonna even go into what happened today. I don't think I should talk about things like these kinda of situations no more. Plus everybody already knows what happened practically. I think I had literally like 10+ people come up to me about the situation. I think I may have deserved it though. I mean pay back's a bitch right? It's weird though, it didn't effect as much as it did till I got home. I guess I was just holding back all day pretending not to care, cause the fact that I actually care too much. I'm not supposed to show them my weakness cause then they take advantage of that. But then again I'm always and already being taken advantage of. like I'm just there for people only when they need me, right? I think this is why people say not to get into these kinds of relationships? Not that it's a relationship. I dunno what you call em. Heart breaks is what you should call em. Why am I so sensitive? Reasons why I consider myself "emo". Emotional wise, not music wise. Even though I do enjoy emo music. I'm so full of anger these days. I hate a lot of people. Anyone fucks with me this year I will go off. I'm not gonna take anyone's crap anymore. But then again aren't I already? Well, Iono. But fuck life's full of ups and downs, and for me it's more like Downs, Ups, and a lot more Downs. Why are there always flaws in everything I get into? Fuuuuuuuck. I'm starting to get sick of life again. I think I'm starting to get bad all over again with emotional habits and the way I deal with them. Like I did freshman year. It's pretty scary.My moms been talking to me about it for the past week. Maybe I need help. But how can some professional help me with the way I feel? I just don't know anymore. I give up on life. Life gives up on me.
PS: I'm adding alot of lyrics today. There's so much I feel right now. I guess you can call it the playlist. Download em.
---------------------------------<333 xo ; Alisha
Brand New - "Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades"
Keep the noise low, she doesn't wanna blow it.
She stripped from head to toe and then left him with the show me around.
Go get your heartbeat. It beats me straight into the ground.
You don't recover from a night like this. Our victim, still lying in bed, completely motionless.
A hand moves in the dark to her zipper. And a boy best in tourniquet sheets barely whispers,
"This is so messed up."
Upon arrival the guests had all stared.
Dripping wet and clearly depressed, he'd headed straight for the stairs.
No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch, unprepared for a life filled with lies and failing relationships.
(Up the stairs, the station where the act becomes the art of growing up.)
He keeps his hands low, he doesn't wanna blow it.
He's wet from head to toe and his eyes give her the up and the down.
His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up.
Get the body on the bed like it's flowered and he starts going down.
The fever, the focus...
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed,
and now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
She hits the lights. This doesn't seem quite fair.
Despite everything he learned from his friends, he doesn't feel so prepared.
She's breathing quiet and smooth, he's gasping for air.
"This is the first and last time", he says.
She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He's holding back from telling her exactly what it really feels like.
He is the lamb, she is the slaughter. She's moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her.
Nothing that he tells her's really having an effect.
He whispers that he loves her, but she's probably only looking for...
(Up the stairs, the station where the act becomes the art of growing up.)
So much more than he could ever give. A life full of lies and a meaningful relationship.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He waits for it to end and for the aching in his groin to subside.
The fever, the focus...
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed, and now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
Up the stairs, the station where the act becomes the art of growing up.
The fever, the focus...
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed, and now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
Evanescence - "Solitude"
2, 3, 4
How many times have you told me you love her?
As many times as I wanted to tell you the truth.
How long have I stood here beside you?
I lived through you, you looked through me.
Ooo, Solitude
Still with me is only you
Ooo, Solitude
I can't stay away from you
How many times have I done this to myself?
How long will it take before I see?
When will this hole in my heart be mended?
Who now is left alone but me?
Ooo, Solitude
Forever me and forever you
Ooo, Solitude
Only you, Only true
Everyone leaves me stranded,
forgotten, abandoned
left behind.
I can't stay here another night
Your secret admirer, who could it be?
Can't you you see all along it was me?
How can you be so blind as to see right through me?
Solitude
Still with me is only you
Ooo, solitude
I can't stay away from you
Solitude
Forever me and forever you
Ooo, Solitude
Only you, Only true
Evanesence - "You"
The words have been drained from this pencil
Sweet words that I want to give you
And I cant sleep, I need to tell you... goodnight
When we’re together I fell perfect
When I’m pulled away from you I fall apart
All that you say is sacred to me
Your eyes are so blue, I can’t look away as we lay in the stillness
You whisper to me, Lady, marry me, promise you’ll stay with me
Oh you don’t have to ask me, you know you’re all that I live for
You know I’d die just to hold you, stay with you
Somehow I’ll show you that you are my night sky
I’ve always been right behind you
Now I’ll always be right beside you
So many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep
Now that you love me I love myself
I never thought I would say that
I never thought there’d be you
Evanescence - "Hello"
playground school bell rings again
rain clouds come to play again
has no one told you she's not breathing?
hello i'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
hello
if i smile and don't believe
soon i know i'll wake from this dream
don't try to fix me i'm not broken
hello i'm the lie living for you so you can hide
don't cry
suddenly i know i'm not sleeping
hello i'm still here
all that's left of yesterday
Whitney Houston - "Heartbreak Hotel"
This is the heartbreak hotel (9x)
You said that you’d be here by nine
And said you took your time
You didn’t think to call me boy
Here I sit trying not to cry
Asking myself why you do this to me
Chorus 1 (sung by faith evans)
Since you’re not around for me to tell you baby face to face
I’m writing you this letter, and this is hat I have to say:
All I really wanted was some of your time
Instead you told me lies
When someone else was on your mind
What you do to me
Look what you did to me
I thought that you were someone who would do me right
Until you play with my emotions and you made me cry
What you do to me
Can’t take what you did to me
Now I see that you been doing wrong
You played me all along.
And made a fool of me, baby
You got it all wrong to think that I wouldn’t find out
That you were cheating on me.
How could you do it to me?
Chorus 2 (sung by kelly price)
This is the heartbreak hotel (9x)
Chorus and ad lib
I ain’t goin to take it no more (4x)
(kelly price)everthing you said was a lie
Don’t lie to me (fade out)
Fuel - "Bad Day"
I had a bad day again
She said i would not understand
She left a note that said I'm sorry, I
I had a bad day again
She spilled her coffee broke a shoelace
Smeared the lipstick on her face
Slammed the door and said I'm sorry, I
I had a bad day again
And she swears there's nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me up and puts me on
I had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note and said I'm sorry I
I had a bad day again
Nooo...
And she swears there's nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me up and puts me on
Oh I had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note that said I'm sorry, I
I had a bad day again
She left a note that said I'm sorry, I
I had a bad day
Nooo
Nooo
Nooo
Nooo
Alright
Oooooo
Ohhh
Devine - "Lately"
Lately (I’ve been watching you) been thinkin ’bout u baby
(and everything u do)
Just sittin away watching the days go by (2x)
Have u ever felt a breeze hit hard,
Like the wind was blowing it apart
As you’re spinning like a merry-go-round,
Indications of a storm touching down
Wish that I can wear the rain and storm,
But I guess it was heart break from the norm
Was a day I will always remember,
The saddest day in sweet november...
Lately (I’ve been watching you) been thinkin ’bout u baby
(and everything u do)
Just sittin away watching the days go by (2x)
Baby I’m on my knees praying God help me please,
Bring my baby back, right back to me
If lovin you was right then I don’t wanna go wrong
So I drown myself with tears,
Sittin’ here, singin’ another sad love song
Lately (I’ve been watching you) been thinkin ’bout u baby
(and everything u do)
Just sittin away watching the days go by (2x)
Lately I’ve been torn apart,
I wish you hadn’t broke my heart
I’m missin’ you babe,
Missin’ you baby jay
Lately I’ve been torn apart,
I wish you hadn’t broke my heart
I’m missin’ you babe,
Missin’ you baby jay
Lately (I’ve been watching you) been thinkin ’bout u baby
(and everything u do)
Just sittin away watching the days go by (2x)
Immature "Please Don't Go"
(Chorus)
Baby, please don't go (Please don't go)
Stay right by my side (By my side)
Baby, please don't go (Please don't go)
Stay right by my side (By my side)
Rainy days
Bring back memories of you
And I will never lie
I want you by my side
Thinking of you
Makes me not want you to go
Please stay
Stay with me
(Chorus)
I can't face the fact
That I want you in my life
Don't go
My love will show
My heart will see
To you, you are my friend
Don't leave
I'll do anything
Rainy days bring back memories ( x 6 times)
(Chorus/Fade Out)
PS: I'm adding alot of lyrics today. There's so much I feel right now. I guess you can call it the playlist. Download em.
---------------------------------<333 xo ; Alisha
Brand New - "Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades"
Keep the noise low, she doesn't wanna blow it.
She stripped from head to toe and then left him with the show me around.
Go get your heartbeat. It beats me straight into the ground.
You don't recover from a night like this. Our victim, still lying in bed, completely motionless.
A hand moves in the dark to her zipper. And a boy best in tourniquet sheets barely whispers,
"This is so messed up."
Upon arrival the guests had all stared.
Dripping wet and clearly depressed, he'd headed straight for the stairs.
No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch, unprepared for a life filled with lies and failing relationships.
(Up the stairs, the station where the act becomes the art of growing up.)
He keeps his hands low, he doesn't wanna blow it.
He's wet from head to toe and his eyes give her the up and the down.
His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up.
Get the body on the bed like it's flowered and he starts going down.
The fever, the focus...
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed,
and now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
She hits the lights. This doesn't seem quite fair.
Despite everything he learned from his friends, he doesn't feel so prepared.
She's breathing quiet and smooth, he's gasping for air.
"This is the first and last time", he says.
She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He's holding back from telling her exactly what it really feels like.
He is the lamb, she is the slaughter. She's moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her.
Nothing that he tells her's really having an effect.
He whispers that he loves her, but she's probably only looking for...
(Up the stairs, the station where the act becomes the art of growing up.)
So much more than he could ever give. A life full of lies and a meaningful relationship.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He waits for it to end and for the aching in his groin to subside.
The fever, the focus...
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed, and now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
Up the stairs, the station where the act becomes the art of growing up.
The fever, the focus...
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed, and now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.
Evanescence - "Solitude"
2, 3, 4
How many times have you told me you love her?
As many times as I wanted to tell you the truth.
How long have I stood here beside you?
I lived through you, you looked through me.
Ooo, Solitude
Still with me is only you
Ooo, Solitude
I can't stay away from you
How many times have I done this to myself?
How long will it take before I see?
When will this hole in my heart be mended?
Who now is left alone but me?
Ooo, Solitude
Forever me and forever you
Ooo, Solitude
Only you, Only true
Everyone leaves me stranded,
forgotten, abandoned
left behind.
I can't stay here another night
Your secret admirer, who could it be?
Can't you you see all along it was me?
How can you be so blind as to see right through me?
Solitude
Still with me is only you
Ooo, solitude
I can't stay away from you
Solitude
Forever me and forever you
Ooo, Solitude
Only you, Only true
Evanesence - "You"
The words have been drained from this pencil
Sweet words that I want to give you
And I cant sleep, I need to tell you... goodnight
When we’re together I fell perfect
When I’m pulled away from you I fall apart
All that you say is sacred to me
Your eyes are so blue, I can’t look away as we lay in the stillness
You whisper to me, Lady, marry me, promise you’ll stay with me
Oh you don’t have to ask me, you know you’re all that I live for
You know I’d die just to hold you, stay with you
Somehow I’ll show you that you are my night sky
I’ve always been right behind you
Now I’ll always be right beside you
So many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep
Now that you love me I love myself
I never thought I would say that
I never thought there’d be you
Evanescence - "Hello"
playground school bell rings again
rain clouds come to play again
has no one told you she's not breathing?
hello i'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
hello
if i smile and don't believe
soon i know i'll wake from this dream
don't try to fix me i'm not broken
hello i'm the lie living for you so you can hide
don't cry
suddenly i know i'm not sleeping
hello i'm still here
all that's left of yesterday
Whitney Houston - "Heartbreak Hotel"
This is the heartbreak hotel (9x)
You said that you’d be here by nine
And said you took your time
You didn’t think to call me boy
Here I sit trying not to cry
Asking myself why you do this to me
Chorus 1 (sung by faith evans)
Since you’re not around for me to tell you baby face to face
I’m writing you this letter, and this is hat I have to say:
All I really wanted was some of your time
Instead you told me lies
When someone else was on your mind
What you do to me
Look what you did to me
I thought that you were someone who would do me right
Until you play with my emotions and you made me cry
What you do to me
Can’t take what you did to me
Now I see that you been doing wrong
You played me all along.
And made a fool of me, baby
You got it all wrong to think that I wouldn’t find out
That you were cheating on me.
How could you do it to me?
Chorus 2 (sung by kelly price)
This is the heartbreak hotel (9x)
Chorus and ad lib
I ain’t goin to take it no more (4x)
(kelly price)everthing you said was a lie
Don’t lie to me (fade out)
Fuel - "Bad Day"
I had a bad day again
She said i would not understand
She left a note that said I'm sorry, I
I had a bad day again
She spilled her coffee broke a shoelace
Smeared the lipstick on her face
Slammed the door and said I'm sorry, I
I had a bad day again
And she swears there's nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me up and puts me on
I had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note and said I'm sorry I
I had a bad day again
Nooo...
And she swears there's nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me up and puts me on
Oh I had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note that said I'm sorry, I
I had a bad day again
She left a note that said I'm sorry, I
I had a bad day
Nooo
Nooo
Nooo
Nooo
Alright
Oooooo
Ohhh
Devine - "Lately"
Lately (I’ve been watching you) been thinkin ’bout u baby
(and everything u do)
Just sittin away watching the days go by (2x)
Have u ever felt a breeze hit hard,
Like the wind was blowing it apart
As you’re spinning like a merry-go-round,
Indications of a storm touching down
Wish that I can wear the rain and storm,
But I guess it was heart break from the norm
Was a day I will always remember,
The saddest day in sweet november...
Lately (I’ve been watching you) been thinkin ’bout u baby
(and everything u do)
Just sittin away watching the days go by (2x)
Baby I’m on my knees praying God help me please,
Bring my baby back, right back to me
If lovin you was right then I don’t wanna go wrong
So I drown myself with tears,
Sittin’ here, singin’ another sad love song
Lately (I’ve been watching you) been thinkin ’bout u baby
(and everything u do)
Just sittin away watching the days go by (2x)
Lately I’ve been torn apart,
I wish you hadn’t broke my heart
I’m missin’ you babe,
Missin’ you baby jay
Lately I’ve been torn apart,
I wish you hadn’t broke my heart
I’m missin’ you babe,
Missin’ you baby jay
Lately (I’ve been watching you) been thinkin ’bout u baby
(and everything u do)
Just sittin away watching the days go by (2x)
Immature "Please Don't Go"
(Chorus)
Baby, please don't go (Please don't go)
Stay right by my side (By my side)
Baby, please don't go (Please don't go)
Stay right by my side (By my side)
Rainy days
Bring back memories of you
And I will never lie
I want you by my side
Thinking of you
Makes me not want you to go
Please stay
Stay with me
(Chorus)
I can't face the fact
That I want you in my life
Don't go
My love will show
My heart will see
To you, you are my friend
Don't leave
I'll do anything
Rainy days bring back memories ( x 6 times)
(Chorus/Fade Out)