(Untitled)

[wherearethebees]

Which would disturb you more, and why

Comments

[dawgdays]

I find it difficult to believe that one's values could change without also changing one's personality, and vice versa. But, for the sake of this exercise, I'll assume that they aren't connected:

I would find the personality change to be more disturbing, since Ken wouldn't be acting like Ken. He would be a very different person.

Now, I would expect the same kind of thing to happen if Ken's values changed, since values tend to drive behavior. But I realize that some value changes may not engender an obvious behavioral change.

[t3hlorax]

this.

[elizaswain]

I agree completely.

[suibhne_geilt]

Well, depends. Are his values changing for the better or for the worse?

[wherearethebees]

I'm so enmeshed in the actual story this Q is based on that I totally forgot to include that. For the worse! Editing.

[suibhne_geilt]

I'd be more worried if their values changed than if their personality did. Values are about who you are, and at the end of the day, that's the worth of a person. Personality is about how you express yourself and your values.

[reeps]

Probably the first one because someone's values are none of my business and I don't care

[mckendrie]

They're both equally bad. If someone can make you change for the worse, that's just plain terrible.

[anfractuousity]

How can one change but not the other? That sort of thing is so intrinsically connected...

[wherearethebees]

These are obviously really reduced answers and not as nuanced as people can be, but: I know just as many bubbly, extroverted, sweet women who are crazy about religion as bubbly, extroverted, sweet women who are super anti-religion.

Or, I know just as many doofy, broish, flash-to-angry guys who are devoted to classical music performance as I know quiet, gentle, stammeringly-polite guys who are devoted to classical music performance. . .

Does that make any sense? Maybe it's easier to think of the question like "Imagine your friend's values are the opposite of what they are --" vs "Imagine your friend's personality is the opposite of what it is --" & which would be a more disturbing transformation?

[anfractuousity]

Hrm. That's really a difficult question... They'd both be really disturbing because while there's nothing wrong with values and personalities shifting over time, a really drastic 180degree-type change in either would signal to me that something is Wrong.

I suppose... I would be marginally more disturbed by someone's personality changing. Someone who is extroverted suddenly becoming reclusive or someone who is open becoming secretive, etc.