the last time i let go

[ask_for_more]

things never turn out the way i hope they will
or the way i plan
and i swear, my heart palpitates
i have some sort of heart racing anxiety disorder or something
i hate it
and i hate that i used to have feelings that were too hard to feel
and now i forget how to feel anything
ignoring pressing emotions is probably what caused the heart thing
but what do i know?
i thought i was doing well. maybe i was wrong
i can't remember the last time i let go