Comments | ask_exterminate: COMMANDER. I AM LOST.

ask_exterminate

COMMANDER. I AM LOST.

Dec 19, 2009 22:29

COMMUNICATION TO: DALEK EC
COMMUNICATION FROM: DALEK BETA

COMMANDER. I AM LOST.

I WAS ATTEMPTING TO ACCELERATE GLOBAL WARMING WHEN I FROZE INTO THE ICE.

IT WAS COLD.

I HATE BEING COLD. YOU COULD AT LEAST HAVE PROVIDED US WITH THERMAL CIRCUITS.

I DO NOT REMEMBER WHEN I POWERED DOWN.

( I SLEPT IN THE ICE FOR A LONG TIME... )

the santa, felicitate felicitate felicitate, commander i am lost

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annemjw December 21 2009, 07:21:51 UTC

Merry Christmas, Dalek! You are at least spreading joy throughout the internet!

ask_exterminate December 21 2009, 07:30:05 UTC

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU, HUMAN.

YOU APPRECIATE FESTIVE CHEER. YOU WILL NOT BE EXTERMINATED.

MY HEAD HURTS. WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? WHY AM I COVERED IN PERMANENT MARKER?

annemjw December 21 2009, 07:33:56 UTC

\o/

Poor thing. Do you want some Brasso or something?

ask_exterminate December 21 2009, 07:45:56 UTC

ONE OF THE HUMANS GAVE ME A SNUGGIE BECAUSE I WAS NOT ALLOWED IN THE BLANKET MADE OF BURRITOS. THE HUMAN THAT SHOUTS "TORCHWOOD" KEPT SHOUTING AT ME AND WOULD NOT LET ME INSTALL A SPEAKER SYSTEM IN HIS HEAD.

I LIKE THE SNUGGIE. IT IS WARM AND IT HAS A SLEEVE FOR MY PLUNGER. DON'T GET BRASSO ON MY SNUGGIE!

I THINK THEY HAVE ALL PASSED OUT. THEY ARE VERY SILENT, BUT I DO NOT REMEMBER EXTERMINATING ANYTHING LAST NIGHT.

annemjw December 21 2009, 09:23:23 UTC

What an excellent Christmas present! The one who shouts (we call him 'Jack') has had some previously unhappy encounters with your race, but I don't think that can be held against you.

I shall give the Brasso to the one they call 'Ianto', he will know what to do.

I am sure they will awaken soon. I would try to felicitate as quietly as you can though, many of them will have what we call a 'headache', from processing the alcohol. They will recover though, Jack the most quickly.

You know, I think Torchwood has dealt with this kind of thing before. I can't seem to find the record of it, but I seem to recall Ianto once finding a Dalek in the basement of the hub and sharing some of his cells with it? Anyway, I wouldn't worry.

ask_exterminate December 21 2009, 09:31:43 UTC

THEY FOUND MY COMMANDER.

THEY ARE CURRENTLY USING HIM AS A PLANTER FOR BEGONIAS. THE SHOUTY ONE WAS MOST INSISTENT THAT HE WAS USING THE CARCASS OF MY COMMANDER AS A URINAL AS WELL.

I DO NOT KNOW IF THIS SHOULD FRIGHTEN ME. THE FESTIVE DIRECTIVE SAYS:

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR
LET'S HOPE IT'S A GOOD ONE
WITHOUT ANY FEAR

THEREFORE I BELIEVE THAT I SHOULD NOT BE AFRAID.

DALEKS DO NOT FEAR.

FELICITATE.

annemjw December 21 2009, 09:35:58 UTC

I think Dalek Ec rather likes his begonias though, I have to say. Also, Jack says things to hurt people's (and Dalek's) feelings sometimes, but he usually means well.

I think we can safely say that fear should not be involved.

But how do you feel about tinsel? I imagine that decorating would be a most productive task for a Dalek in a Hub full of unconscious Torchwood operatives! Also: fairy lights. Replacing all the blown bulbs with new ones would be most festive.

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