Comments | ask_captainjack: Captain Jack's Holiday Mail Bag!

ask_captainjack

Captain Jack's Holiday Mail Bag!

Dec 20, 2009 16:58

TWO GREAT PIECES OF HOLIDAY ADVICE IN MY MAIL BAG FOR YOU!

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Dear Captain Jack:

What is Christmas like in the future? Do you get presents?

- PrincessPea

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( Do I get presents? Baby, I'm the kind of guy who gets presents just for existing! )

my needs, traditions, holidays

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blue_fjords December 20 2009, 22:05:58 UTC

Happy Grimmas, Captain Jack! I don't understand how you can ask for any other pressies w/ a Yoda in your stocking! How bout you share w/ us what you got Max Theresa for Grimmas, yeah?

ask_captainjack December 20 2009, 22:08:13 UTC

I heart your icon, BF. I heart it double as much as an icon with only one beagle in it.

I got Theresa what any young pup wants for Grimmas --- bitchin' hover-booties for walkies! He barely has to walk on the ground now, he can zoom up and down and around the Hub!

ask_aboutcoffee December 20 2009, 22:12:37 UTC

It has certainly made his choice of Things To Chew On more interesting.

ask_captainjack December 20 2009, 22:13:47 UTC

Can you believe he can wrap his little doggy jaw around the ceiling fans? The tooth marks up there are hilarious!

ask_aboutcoffee December 20 2009, 22:15:03 UTC

If you tie a tennis ball to one of the fins, he chases it.

That's what I was really doing the afternoon you thought I was working on the HoverSUV.

ask_captainjack December 20 2009, 22:20:31 UTC

I'm glad you didn't waste time on the HoverSUV.

I might have Hover-ed it into something last night.

By something, I mean the Bay.

I was trying to land it on the roof to make you kids think Grimace Claus was here! Can egg nog affect piloting skills?

ask_aboutcoffee December 20 2009, 22:21:57 UTC

You hovered the HoverSUV into the bay.

Because you were drinking egg nog and impersonating Grimace Claus?

....did you die? If you did I am entirely unsympathetic. We just had it space-detailed!

ask_captainjack December 20 2009, 22:38:55 UTC

If I mention that I died...Do I get a hug?

Because, I deserve hugs. What a horrific year!

The Torchwood Documentary filmed me at several unflattering nose-drippery angles.

ask_aboutcoffee December 20 2009, 22:43:18 UTC

It didn't do much for your hair, either.

All right, I will hug you because this year was horrible. But not because you died in an underwater SUV! For that you get a gentle smack on the nose, just like Max.

ask_captainjack December 20 2009, 22:46:29 UTC

Sweetheart, Theresa is playing you!

He doesn't really listen when you gently swat his nose. He's only pretending.

He actually listens when I feed him a sack of Snausages. I can tell because he looks at me with eyes filled with understanding!

ask_aboutcoffee December 20 2009, 22:49:03 UTC

God, that explains so much about his walkies lately.

You can't give him a sack of snausages! Just one at a time! And no more than two in ten minutes!

ask_captainjack December 20 2009, 22:50:31 UTC

Sorry, they come in sacks. I'm not a monster. Portioning is for the "Bad Cop Parent".

PS: That's you.

blue_fjords December 20 2009, 22:58:09 UTC

Piper and Milo will share their cheese & veggie dogbones w/ Max Theresa if he'll share his bitchin hover booties. Their mommies just had to carry them through 22 inches of snow for their "walkie".

ask_arealdoctor December 20 2009, 23:02:32 UTC

Oh, Max looks so cute in his antlers! Look, I dressed up Tomb Raider too! She loves her holiday outfit! Who's a sweet kitty?

( ... )

ask_captainjack December 20 2009, 23:04:32 UTC

CHRIST that's terrifying.

Martha, you and I had a discussion about terrifying things.

Me: "Martha, I find it terrifying when you touch Hart."

You: "Fuck off Jack!"

I figured we'd established that you should listen to everything I say!

ask_arealdoctor December 20 2009, 23:10:43 UTC

She's not terrifying, she's festive! And she loves it. It only took a couple of hours and a sedative to dress her.

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