Epic Battle Of Lulz

[ask_aboutcoffee]

If you're reading this, Team, it means the Hub has gone into lockdown. It'll cycle off when this is over. I couldn't risk anyone else during this fight.

I challenged the Master to a LOL-off. We're meeting on the Plass to throw down macros. If I win, he's mine to do with as I please. If he wins -- well, he won't, so that doesn't matter.

I'm

Comments

[ask_janet]

lockdown? now everyone can see what it's like to be me.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

I'm not feeding them entrails.

[ask_janet]

maybe you should. they're really good.

[timeagency]

We don't want entrails. He does.

[timeagency]

Can we jam and cheer Ianto on at the same time? Trust me, you want Ianto to win. You don't get any Time Lord Flesh if he loses.

Come on, Andy. We need to play, play like our lives depend on it!

[ask_janet]

shit, where's my keytar?

[ask_janet]

a poem about how i get to consume the master's carcass
by janet

first the head, because it is crunchy and will be the best part.
they say (they really do) that
when you open it, it comes with candy sprinkles.

i will save you for last, rubbery entrails, ribbons and
ribbons of chewy goodness, quick down the gullet like the night i fell
through the clouds and landed in a back alley, confused
and in need of a kebab.

i have waited for you, possibly my whole life.
well, no, not really, but who can pass up a hot meal?
not me, that for damn sure.

maybe i'll finish with a fruit cup.

[amand_r]

What kind of fruit cup? I don't like the ones that have the cherries in them.

[ask_janet]

or the pineapple chunks that have the hard ends like wax. or the peaches.

actually, i don't really care for fruit. in general. unless it's people fruit.

[amand_r]

I hesitate to ask what people fruit is. But then again, I like sweetbreads, and they aren't bread at all. Is it something like that?

[ask_janet]

yes. it's a lot like sweetbreads.

come down to the cells. i'll show you.

[amand_r]

Uhm, is that safe? Aren't there things down there? Cybermans? Monsters? Vondrax? Pokemon?

You?

[ask_janet]

what? wait? your ISP is breaking up. i can't see or hear this post. come down to the cells and give me the message in person.

bring the HP bottle

[ask_captainjack]

TOO LATE SUCKER. Your cell is Retina Scan access only.

You'll only ever be able to eat the following people with Retina Scans on file:

- Me
- Ianto
- Gwen
- Martha
- Toshiko
- Owen
- Suzie
- Alex
- Mindy R.
- Mindy F.
- Ginnifer
- Terence

Man I should really clean out the security permissions. I don't like to delete retina scans. Seems so final!

[ask_janet]

wait. which one was mindy r? i could never get them straight. i'd fail the blind pepsi challenge on that one.

[ask_captainjack]

Mindy R was French. She didn't like to be called "French Mindy" or "Frindy" because she said that was racist. :-(