General Support Log, Week 8
General Support Log
v. 1, week 8
Don't judge me. Red is my colour!
Monitoring:
Captain Jack Harkness (ask_captainjack)
Senior Agent PC Gwen Cooper and Executive Husband Rhys Williams (gwen_e_cooper, therant_willask)
Junior Senior Agent Ianto Jones (ask_aboutcoffee)
Senior Junior Agent Doctor Martha Jones (ask_arealdoctor)
Junior Junior Agent Captain John Hart (oh_doask)
Tsunami Survivors T and Andy (timeagency and dontask_pcandy)
HRH Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor and Butler Harold Putnam (inquireof_liz)
Time Lords The Doctor (askfor_bananas) and Jenny (askmydad)
Detective Sergeant Kathy Swanson (blametorchwood)
Max the Beagle, Myfanwy the Dinosaur, Bebe the Alien Chick, Bebe's Alien Duck Boyfriend, and a cat.
Alien Activity: We've been very annoyed lately by Evil's lack of fashion sense (mine is much better). Gwen reconsidered adopting Tribbles on the Doctor's advice. Bebe got herself a boyfriend, or rather Martha got Bebe a boyfriend. Apparently they might be having twins! (Bebe and Boyfriend, not John and Martha.)
Non Time Linear Activity: T posted a funny macro to us but the Doctor is worried that someone is collecting Rift energy. He, T, and Andy blasted off from Kauai after T and Andy met their genderswapped selves and found a Creepy TARDIS Room. They had to weather out a tsunami in future Calcutta. Not to worry, the waters are receding (they did need wellies, and I was happy to provide). They will miss each other when this is over, though. Jack and Andy bonded over food but Andy sparred with Hart over penis size (I know, I know) and discovered Jack's room on the TARDIS. At the moment they've left the tsunami behind but ended up on Raxacoricofallapatorius -- Martha is worried but Jack finds their emo eyes adorable.
Staff: For more efficient workflow, we have diagrammed both snogging and corpse disposal (and what Jack owns as well as his shag qualification process). We also straightened out some payroll questions. Gwen and Jack discussed visiting Barcelona (the planet) but were sidetracked when Jack freaked out about his coral.
Gwen shared her fanfiction ideas and planned a fanfiction community with Hart. Jack encouraged her, at least in writing her fanfiction, but I worried about WalesFail and she was slightly put off by RPF. Jack and Gwen spoke French and discussed how maybe Jack owns her despite there being no Jus Primae Knocking Boots at Torchwood.
The cat is still settling in. Hart got into a little trouble with Martha over Detective Swanson, and tried to make it up to her. I think we're both in favour of getting Martha into period costume. I am firmly against Hart becoming Welsh, however, no matter how many bullets he throws (NB scroll down for Andy's brilliant pun).
Is it inappropriate to lust after a dead colleague? Owen would have. He wasn't discreet.
Allied Organisations: HRH prepared for a Miami Holiday and considered acquiring a sonic brick. She and Harold also came over for film night. Hart, oddly, convinced us to watch Twelve O'Clock High. We were monitored by Kathy Swanson, who claimed she and Jack were never an item (Jack did lose her phone number). She has some...issues with Jack and with Hart. She bonded with Gwen, met the Doctor, and I introduced her to fanfiction. Then she posted surveillance photos.
HITCHED: After a night at the pub with Swanson, where Jack and I were supposed to be renegotiating our PDA contract, we got married, kind of. According to Jack, anyway. The Queen did sign our papers. We received a gravy boat (Jack's v. excited) and a deep fryer. The Doctor congratulated us and Martha teased me (okay, everyone teased me) and I might even be happy about it. It is touching that the rings are made out of an heirloom of Jack's. I'm wondering if we should cohabitate and meanwhile Jack's showing me off. I do know a stag morning is the worst idea ever. OH THE DRUMS. OH THE WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT. And we're still negotiating PDA!
Mostly I'm afraid of babies. WITH GOOD REASON. Such good reason. But I'm settling in. Me and my possessive side both.
Security: A thorough discussion of shagging oneself has established that it is harmless good fun. Hart rickrolled Jack during a trust exercise and plotted tactics against the Photoshop Assassins. Meanwhile, Gwen covered our Weevil Situation and informed Jack of her off limits pocket. Hart and I got into a fight and Martha made us stop (he started it, that suit-thieving weasel). Everyone is aware, right, that Jack has had us all implanted? And uh...disposed of the Osterhagen Key? Good.
Supplies: May want to lay in some emergency chips. Bagel supply is holding steady, though. Even though we give them to Hart, who's technically not supposed to touch People Food (there was a pheromone incident and a goldfish incident). Martha's going to get him a second shirt, though, and maybe we should get him a chair for his crate or something.
Should probably stock up on party supplies for the COT Awards. And music.
Community Outreach: Jack showed off his business cards (he needs to stop posting them to Craigslist) and offered advice to a woman courting a regrettably straight girl. In related news, one of our civilians wins the internet. You know what's not win? Girl Hart blowing up our bakery. :( Boy Hart went on an assassination mission and failed miserably, but had a good time. T took him to task for his failure but she was also busy throwing rocks at one of 1941's many Jacks. I explained to the civilian public about our Sandwich Issues and Jack shared his recipes and his love of Biggles.
The Mummy: The mummy Martha has taken possession of is...well, Donna Noble ( DON'T LOOK, DOCTOR! SPOILERS!). This is kind of a downer, so after he worried about her tits, Jack decorated it. John was a little overenthusiastic about it. She... might be regenerating. Worrisome.
Spoilers and Historical Notes: Typography can be sacred! (And Weevils have genitalia in strange places). The future of jumpsuits is smelly. Martha is dangerously fond of spoilers. Jack loves summer. Did you want to know how his uterus works? No, me neither. We're learning all kinds of new things about Andy, though (and Andy's learning new things about Jack).
Personal Notes: Bran is a MYTHOLOGICAL FUCKING HERO, okay? And a giant! So why am I the littlest? After all, I BOOM!
There were so many puns about our rings. So many, many puns. (Jack even made an ass pun, but that was unrelated.)
And now I need a drink, but at this hour of the morning I'll have to settle for a fried egg.