Comments | ask_aboutcoffee: Mysterious Sheep Poo Disappearance

ask_aboutcoffee

Mysterious Sheep Poo Disappearance

Apr 16, 2009 12:20

We've been robbed!

Sometime last night a very clever criminal disabled the CCTV on the Secret Loading Dock, loaded up all the remaining talents of sheep poo, and made off with them. He or she left us a ream of sheep poo paper, as if to mock us ( Read more... )

problems i have, protecting you from bad taste

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ask_captainjack April 16 2009, 17:32:57 UTC

MY POO, IANTO!

ask_aboutcoffee April 16 2009, 17:34:55 UTC

I know, Jack. It's devastating.

They did leave poo paper, though. It has the little logo on and everything.

ask_captainjack April 16 2009, 17:35:31 UTC

GOD what kind of criminal would do this? Taking away my DIY fun but gifting me with paper which feels great against my skin.

It's like they're trying to help me in some kind of feeble, misguided way. How many obsessed ex-lovers do I have out there? Four? Three hundred? SERIOUSLY!

ask_aboutcoffee April 16 2009, 17:37:02 UTC

I was hoping you mostly outlived your ex-lovers, instead of them becoming obsessed stalkers.

...should I start wearing kevlar?

ask_captainjack April 16 2009, 17:42:17 UTC

If they steal you, I can't imagine what they'd leave on the loading dock in exchange!?

ask_aboutcoffee April 16 2009, 17:43:31 UTC

A small army and an expensive sewing machine, I imagine. Clearly you had better make sure I don't get stolen!

ask_captainjack April 16 2009, 17:48:52 UTC

I've got an eye on you, kid. Only one, because my other eye is on my new paper. But one 51st century eye is as good as three 21st century eyes. It's how I was so good at spotting German aircraft before they shot me down.

ask_aboutcoffee April 16 2009, 17:59:26 UTC

Please keep one third of your 1:3 eyes on Max, though, he was chasing his floppy squid toy around your office last I saw.

neifile7 April 16 2009, 18:05:13 UTC

I don't care how good your eyes are, Jack. Ianto's a precious national resource and there are Evil People who WILL steal him the next time you have to shoot something in the face. Some of them are probably reading this journal even as I write.

So to be on the safe side, better get out one of Theresa's leads and lash the boy to your mast.

ask_aboutcoffee April 16 2009, 19:24:38 UTC

It should be pointed out that while I don't object to collars in some situations, a leash would make it very hard to do my daily cleaning and beverage rounds in the Hub without causing something of a tangle.

neifile7 April 16 2009, 20:30:38 UTC

When I said lash, I meant lash. No twenty-foot leads for you. No chance for tangles.

Besides, you know Jack's always more amenable when he's got you within arm's reach. Well. More something. More...mastlike.

You could always give him a mop if he starts to get in the way of your duties.

ask_captainjack April 16 2009, 21:37:25 UTC

THIS IS WELL PUT.

However, I never get in the way of Hub duties. I like to think I enhance them.

I have good advice about the right way to clean, about how the 51st century scrubs their tubs (they don't!), and about the boxes of soap flakes we used in the 1940's...

ruth76 April 16 2009, 17:51:22 UTC

Is it possible to steal yourself?

ask_aboutcoffee April 16 2009, 17:58:34 UTC

What would I do with me once I had me?

ruth76 April 16 2009, 17:59:50 UTC

I'm sure Jack could come up with some suggestions!

ask_aboutcoffee April 16 2009, 19:48:48 UTC

He doesn't even need inspiration anymore!

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