Irresistible Bliss.
how do i make more people have irresistible crushes on me?
Dear Crush Wanter,
After confirming with a human expert that you were likely not expressing a desire to play immovable object meeting irresistible crushing force, I have given considerable thought to your question. I have much to tell you about the previous idea, but my source tells me that you want people to find *you* irresistible and want to crush you with love and desire. This, my puny human friend, is easier than you think.
There exists a simple secret to being irresistible, and it is this: Find yourself utterly irresistible, revel in it when you are alone, and go out into the world having forgotten about it but with that knowledge in the back of your mind.
No, I do not, as you humans say, kid. I am as serious as only an irradiated giant reptilian monster can be.
Discover all the things about yourself that are wonderful and amazing. Tremble in awe of your atomic fire breath! Marvel at the mighty circumference of your thighs! Delight in the happy thrashing of your powerful tail!
Then, forgive yourself for all the ways you disappoint yourself. "Chin up, puny self," you might say. "You are doing the best you can. And your best is mighty fine indeed." Think again on how much you love your secondary brain that helps you walk. Remind yourself of your fantastic ability to stomp a squadron of tanks without breaking a sweat.
Then go out into the world and wink at strangers.
Sincerely,
monstrosity
Dear Crush Wanter,
After confirming with a human expert that you were likely not expressing a desire to play immovable object meeting irresistible crushing force, I have given considerable thought to your question. I have much to tell you about the previous idea, but my source tells me that you want people to find *you* irresistible and want to crush you with love and desire. This, my puny human friend, is easier than you think.
There exists a simple secret to being irresistible, and it is this: Find yourself utterly irresistible, revel in it when you are alone, and go out into the world having forgotten about it but with that knowledge in the back of your mind.
No, I do not, as you humans say, kid. I am as serious as only an irradiated giant reptilian monster can be.
Discover all the things about yourself that are wonderful and amazing. Tremble in awe of your atomic fire breath! Marvel at the mighty circumference of your thighs! Delight in the happy thrashing of your powerful tail!
Then, forgive yourself for all the ways you disappoint yourself. "Chin up, puny self," you might say. "You are doing the best you can. And your best is mighty fine indeed." Think again on how much you love your secondary brain that helps you walk. Remind yourself of your fantastic ability to stomp a squadron of tanks without breaking a sweat.
Then go out into the world and wink at strangers.
Sincerely,
monstrosity