Emotional Ping Pong.
Dear Godzilla. Someone whom I dated for 4 months recently broke up with me very unexpectedly. I was quite fond of her, though we definitely had our differences. I feel like she led me on and played with my (usually crusty and scaly) heart. I have a strange feeling of disorientation that is similar to vertigo because I keep swinging back to the idea that we should have not broken up - no the breakup was perfectly timed - no we shouldn't have broken up - no it was for the best. It's emotional ping pong and I'm getting a neck ache from it. I feel simultaneously ambivalent and heartbroken. It's so confusing. Can you please provide me with some sort of mantra that I can use to focus on during this time of confusion? Also, can you give me hope that I'll find a kinky feminist poly pro-choice queer artist to love and be loved by? I'm feeling annoyed and defeated.
Thanks,
- Vertigo Grrl
Dear Vertigo Grrl,
My condolences on your recent breakup. The unexpected ones are always so difficult because they leave you feeling that if you'd only known, you could have done something different and made it work. Instead, you're left standing in a pile of burning debris, trying to salvage your dignity and your heart.
That feeling of vertigo you describe is normal. You are trying to deny what has happened while simultaneously trying to accept it. Of course, time will allow you to accept and the denial will fade. In the meantime, you must remember that you are strong and mighty, and your heart has recovered before.
Vertigo results from a disturbance in balance. In order to regain your balance, you must stand up slowly and find a solid place to plant your feet. Make sure that you choose carefully, as many a kaiju has fallen down again by placing her giant feet on a shifting or unstable surface. Then you must re-orient yourself and determine where you are.
I suggest replacing "we shouldn't have broken up" with "it hurts that we broke up". It remains true, but has less distance from "the breakup was perfectly timed", so that you are not shifting between two extremes. It hurts that you broke up, but it was the best time for it to happen.
Kinky poly feminist pro-choice queer artists may not be easy to come by, but you can be certain that if someone you meet has one of these attributes, they are not unlikely to have the others. Love is one of those things that happens in its own time and on its own terms. Keep doing what you do and suitable prospects will be drawn to you. A monster knows these things in her mighty heart.
In the meantime, eat lots of treats, stomp around smashing whatever must be smashed, and apply plenty of moisturizer to your scaly, crusty heart.
Sincerely,
~monstrosity
Thanks,
- Vertigo Grrl
Dear Vertigo Grrl,
My condolences on your recent breakup. The unexpected ones are always so difficult because they leave you feeling that if you'd only known, you could have done something different and made it work. Instead, you're left standing in a pile of burning debris, trying to salvage your dignity and your heart.
That feeling of vertigo you describe is normal. You are trying to deny what has happened while simultaneously trying to accept it. Of course, time will allow you to accept and the denial will fade. In the meantime, you must remember that you are strong and mighty, and your heart has recovered before.
Vertigo results from a disturbance in balance. In order to regain your balance, you must stand up slowly and find a solid place to plant your feet. Make sure that you choose carefully, as many a kaiju has fallen down again by placing her giant feet on a shifting or unstable surface. Then you must re-orient yourself and determine where you are.
I suggest replacing "we shouldn't have broken up" with "it hurts that we broke up". It remains true, but has less distance from "the breakup was perfectly timed", so that you are not shifting between two extremes. It hurts that you broke up, but it was the best time for it to happen.
Kinky poly feminist pro-choice queer artists may not be easy to come by, but you can be certain that if someone you meet has one of these attributes, they are not unlikely to have the others. Love is one of those things that happens in its own time and on its own terms. Keep doing what you do and suitable prospects will be drawn to you. A monster knows these things in her mighty heart.
In the meantime, eat lots of treats, stomp around smashing whatever must be smashed, and apply plenty of moisturizer to your scaly, crusty heart.
Sincerely,
~monstrosity