For Nicole...
It has not been a month... but Nicole has told me to update. So update I shall.
I don't really care anymore about the whole "Mr. Ed" thing. His name is Dave. He's my boyfriend. There. We've been together for 4 months now *my longest official relationship ever*. He got me 4 roses. They're beautiful and he got me a mushy card. Everything a girl could want.
I had a friend who I yes, used to date, say to me... "I didn't think you'd ever let a guy make you happy." He put it perfectly. That's the way I am. I don't let people in and I let him in. And of course, I'm still having my doubts. I want to feel like I'm needed and right now that's just not the way I feel. Dave is very content being by himself or with me, but I'm not certain if he really cares either way. He cares about me and I love just about everything about him. I told him I don't want to give him the time to miss me, because what if I give him that time, I might find out he doesn't. I just don't want to chance it. Actually I'm probably going to give him that time this week, but he never disagrees with what I say, actually he doesn't really say anything. Yes yes I'm a woman, that's what I want. But once in a while disagree. Morgan West says I'm always looking for things to go wrong, because A. I'm a girl and B. Because I figure there has to be something. She has a point. I've opened up to him more than I have any other boyfriend, but he has barely seen the full me. I don't know why I don't open up to more people. On one hand I figure, it's there or it isn't. I talk about my friends all the time, but they've known me for years and a handful of them have seen the real me. That's just sad. I don't know if I'm cut out for this relationship thing.
Dave and I talked about long-term relationship people (LTRP) and short-term peeps (STP hehe). He said about how LTRPs have more patience. And I said, maybe they don't realize what they want. I have extremely high standards and very little patience (with boyfriends).
In other news...
Jenn Salamh came to PA to visit. That was nice seeing her and her friend Trish. Trish is really an amazing woman. I can def see why they're friends. She's going to law school. I didn't even think about people doing that. Of course people do, but no one I know. And look, she's gone and done it. Wow. Sound silly, but that's frickin amazing to me. Jenn lost a lot of weight and I gave her crap for just about everything she said. I'm sorry about that Jenn. I realize it as I'm saying it. When did I become so bitter? Okay, I've always been bitter, but when did I start being that way around my friends? My apologies.
Work is going well. Going back after having 10 days off was rough, but it was still a 4 day week. I love my job and people keep asking to see stuff I've done. I guess one of these days I'll take a screen shot and crop it down. Until then find someone who lives in MD, NY, or North-Eastern PA, gets a Clipper Magazine and check the the bottom left hand corner (of the back) for a T.5.(letter). Then you've got one of my team books... and if you ask me I'll let you know which ads I've done. How's that? Can I make it more complicated?
New Years was great. Dave and I went to Philly. He ordered a King bed and they got our order messed up. So they gave us 2 queen beds and upgraded our room to the top floor which had it's own pool and private room with snacks (mini perogies, fruit, little sandwhiches) and breakfast (we're 2nd shifters, we didn't get up for it). The fire works at Penns Landing were great. I got to bring in the New Year with one of my favorite men (even if I give him a hard time).
Just got off the phone with Dave. We're taking a breather. I've never believed in these. I find them stupid. If that's what he needs I'm giving it to him. It's breaking my heart though. And the thing that bothers me most is that he knows it. I let a guy in and he breaks my heart everytime. I can't imagine why I'm such a bitch.
And the 4 month curse continues.
I don't really care anymore about the whole "Mr. Ed" thing. His name is Dave. He's my boyfriend. There. We've been together for 4 months now *my longest official relationship ever*. He got me 4 roses. They're beautiful and he got me a mushy card. Everything a girl could want.
I had a friend who I yes, used to date, say to me... "I didn't think you'd ever let a guy make you happy." He put it perfectly. That's the way I am. I don't let people in and I let him in. And of course, I'm still having my doubts. I want to feel like I'm needed and right now that's just not the way I feel. Dave is very content being by himself or with me, but I'm not certain if he really cares either way. He cares about me and I love just about everything about him. I told him I don't want to give him the time to miss me, because what if I give him that time, I might find out he doesn't. I just don't want to chance it. Actually I'm probably going to give him that time this week, but he never disagrees with what I say, actually he doesn't really say anything. Yes yes I'm a woman, that's what I want. But once in a while disagree. Morgan West says I'm always looking for things to go wrong, because A. I'm a girl and B. Because I figure there has to be something. She has a point. I've opened up to him more than I have any other boyfriend, but he has barely seen the full me. I don't know why I don't open up to more people. On one hand I figure, it's there or it isn't. I talk about my friends all the time, but they've known me for years and a handful of them have seen the real me. That's just sad. I don't know if I'm cut out for this relationship thing.
Dave and I talked about long-term relationship people (LTRP) and short-term peeps (STP hehe). He said about how LTRPs have more patience. And I said, maybe they don't realize what they want. I have extremely high standards and very little patience (with boyfriends).
In other news...
Jenn Salamh came to PA to visit. That was nice seeing her and her friend Trish. Trish is really an amazing woman. I can def see why they're friends. She's going to law school. I didn't even think about people doing that. Of course people do, but no one I know. And look, she's gone and done it. Wow. Sound silly, but that's frickin amazing to me. Jenn lost a lot of weight and I gave her crap for just about everything she said. I'm sorry about that Jenn. I realize it as I'm saying it. When did I become so bitter? Okay, I've always been bitter, but when did I start being that way around my friends? My apologies.
Work is going well. Going back after having 10 days off was rough, but it was still a 4 day week. I love my job and people keep asking to see stuff I've done. I guess one of these days I'll take a screen shot and crop it down. Until then find someone who lives in MD, NY, or North-Eastern PA, gets a Clipper Magazine and check the the bottom left hand corner (of the back) for a T.5.(letter). Then you've got one of my team books... and if you ask me I'll let you know which ads I've done. How's that? Can I make it more complicated?
New Years was great. Dave and I went to Philly. He ordered a King bed and they got our order messed up. So they gave us 2 queen beds and upgraded our room to the top floor which had it's own pool and private room with snacks (mini perogies, fruit, little sandwhiches) and breakfast (we're 2nd shifters, we didn't get up for it). The fire works at Penns Landing were great. I got to bring in the New Year with one of my favorite men (even if I give him a hard time).
Just got off the phone with Dave. We're taking a breather. I've never believed in these. I find them stupid. If that's what he needs I'm giving it to him. It's breaking my heart though. And the thing that bothers me most is that he knows it. I let a guy in and he breaks my heart everytime. I can't imagine why I'm such a bitch.
And the 4 month curse continues.