[SJ Fic] Dying and Other Activities for a Rainy Day
Dying and Other Activities for a Rainy Day: Kyuhyun/Donghae, Kibum/Donghae (5357 words)
In which Kyuhyun dies on the second Tuesday of September, and Kibum is assigned to help him find himself. This naturally foreshadows eternal damnation.
Kyuhyun dies on the second Tuesday of September.
It wasn’t a particularly glamorous way to die. On a scale of one to ten, Kyuhyun would rank his death on a six. Three points for grandeur, and another three points simply because of location. Location, location.
One minute he was performing half heartedly on Music Bank’s stage, the next minute his lungs were protesting for oxygen and the metal framework of the building’s ceiling was digging into his rib. He tasted something rusty on the inside of his cheek, his common sense told him it was blood. His mind promptly responded with ‘no, really genius?'.
People were screaming, and he feebly attempted opening his eyes to no avail. He could feel the steel pole embedded in his chest shifting and soon he was was free of the metallic burden. Though the rest of his body was still in agony, seeing how pain was searing through his veins and all. He felt the back of his eyes prickle, there was a white light, and it was getting brighter-
‘Holy shit! Someone call an ambulance!’
and brighter-
‘Everyone move, step away from him, evacuate the premises’
and brighter-
‘Wait! No, I can help him!’ - ‘Tell that to the paramedics, yeah!’
and brighter-
‘Kyuhyun! Can you hear me! Kyuhyun!’
Until the sheer intensity caused his retinas to burn, and suddenly his surroundings became mute and the sensational pain was gone. ‘Strange’ he thought.
His eyes flickered open with little effort and were met with the sight of a large, discombobulated crowd. The consensus amongst the gathering seemed to be to scream and cry as loudly as one could muster, in any other instance Kyuhyun would have been annoyed. Except right now he was more frightened and concerned than anything else, because unless Heechul had finally gone through with his threat and put LSD into the drinking water, Kyuhyun was almost certain he had been on the brink of death a few seconds ago.
He pushed his way through the cluster of people, murmuring half hearted apologies which generally went ignored. He crept further in until he reached a strip of police tape which acted as a barrier between the masses and-
His lifeless body.
‘Oh’ he thought to himself. Dead wasn’t a good look on him. He didn’t look peaceful at all, just grimy and filthy, like Eunhyuk on a good day. Also, were his cheeks always that fat? Was Ryeowook right about him resembling a dumpling? This potentially out of body experience made him more self conscious than anything else and he patted his stomach in a moment of low ego.
He could hear familiar sobs emitting from beside him, and he turned to see Victoria crying silently into her sleeve. He wanted to cringe, Kyuhyun hated seeing girls cry, especially when the girl was one of his best friends. But it was okay, he was alive, and this was all a misunderstanding, and as soon as Victoria saw him and his extant self she would throw herself into his arms and would love him more than she did before.
“Hey, Song Qian, don’t worry. I’m fine. I’m alive!” he grinned, stroking her long hair lovingly. But Victoria either ignored him or genuinely couldn’t feel his affections because she just wailed loudly into her hands.
“He was so talented! He was beautiful, funny, kind-” her voice cracked at the last syllable and she collapsed onto the ground, a broken mess. A gaggle of male idols made their way towards her, muttering words of comfort. He presumed the one holding her against his chest was Nichkhun, simply by default.
Of course Kyuhyun watched this all from afar, because no one seemed to be able to see him, hear him, or feel him. To test out the latter theory he may or may not have subtly rubbed Jessica’s butt when she was yelling frustrated obscenities into the air. Nothing changed, except now she was ranting about how Kyuhyun had been an amazing friend, was courteous, talented and cordial. The usual complimentary praise for the deceased.
Kyuhyun would have been rather flattered, had he not been experiencing a slow epiphany.
“I...” Kyuhyun caressed his face gently, expecting plump, warm, flesh. Instead he came into contact with hard, cold, skin. “I think I’m dead...” he mused softly.
“I think you’re overrated.” a deep voice whispered into Kyuhyun’s ear, causing him to almost topple on top of Onew who was teetering dangerously over the police line.
Kyuhyun rubbed his eyes until his vision became blurry, his mind denying the existence of the person before him. He blinked several times, but he was still there. Smirking and and standing in front of Kyuhyun like a higher being. There was supernatural, like Kyuhyun’s soul becoming detached from his body, and then there was just absurd, like the situation he was facing right now.
“Kibum!” he gasped. “I thought you were dead- a-acting!” he backed away slowly, hiding behind Changmin who was explaining the situation heatedly to the paramedics. Kibum just chuckled at his antics and walked straight through DBSK’s youngest, coming nose to nose with Kyuhyun.
“You thought wrong maknae” laughed Kibum.
“How- how did you do that?” Kyuhyun asked. Hoping the question would send Kibum into some sort of dramatic monologue so he could escape.
But Kibum’s answer was short and sweet with a tinge of indifference, just like his answers during press conferences, just like his answers all the time actually. “We can touch people all we want.” he ran his fingers down Changmin’s arm to demonstrate his point. Kyuhyun shivered, feeling violated on Changmin’s behalf. “And they won’t feel it at all.” he grazed his thumb under Changmin’s lips. Creep. “But anything more than a nudge or a light touch-”
He smirked and grabbed Kyuhyun’s arm, pulling him straight through Changmin’s body, and Onew’s, and Jessica’s, and Nichkhun’s, and Victoria’s, until they were up against the back wall of the studio. Alone and a relatively far distance from the group of idol mourners. “And you’ll go right through them” finished Kibum, grinning like he was the bloody Chesire Cat. Which he sort was, in this case.
“Holy shit” swore Kyuhyun, feeling himself for any remains of human organs, blood or undigested food. “Shit. Shit. Shit.” he articulated. He turned to Kibum, disbelief written all over his face. “I thought you were acting.” he repeated again.
Kibum scoffed. “Please, have you even seen any of my dramas advertised?” Kyuhyun shook his head. “Yeah, thought so. Acting is a hard business Kyuhyun” he sighed, something almost whimsical in his tone.
“So” Kyuhyun started, circling his feet over the rubble garnished floor. “How long have you been dead then?”
Kibum exploded into raucous laughter, slapping his thighs as if Kyuhyun was the funniest gag man in the world. This was followed by violent coughing and sputtering.
Kibum cleared his throat and straightened up, wiping non-existent dust off his suit. “Oh, I’m not dead. Well I am now, but it’s only part time.” he rummaged through his pockets for a cigarette, lighting it up with a click of his fingers. He inhaled a lengthy breath of nicotine and sighed before noticing Kyuhyun’s aghast expression. “I owe Lucifer a favour, and helping the lost causes see the importance of life becomes more of a chore than a novelty when you’re the King of Darkness.” he explained.
Kyuhyun nodded in understanding, although his surprise had been at the cigarette. Kibum being dead part time wasn’t too far off to believe. “So... why do you owe him a favour?” he asked, and immediately regretted it. Because Kibum’s eyes became dark and he started muttering some unintelligible babble. All Kyuhyun could catch was ‘spawn of Satan’ and ‘Shinee’, and by then he decided he didn’t want know, so he just shook his head and stared absent mindedly at the Paramedics carrying away his corpse.
“Wait!” he snapped, causing Kibum to begin choking on his smoke. “How am I a lost cause?” he demanded, placing his hands on his hips in an attempt to impose.
Kibum scoffed. “Are you seriously asking me that?”
“How am I, Cho Kyuhyun, a lost cause?” he beckoned towards himself in order to prove his point.
Kibum gave him and up-down before promptly replying. “You’ve gained weight.” Kyuhyun almost cried, but Kibum remained oblivious. “I’ll explain everything back at the main office, you don’t really have to do anything. Just shut up and listen.” he said. Kyuhyun swallowed before nodding obediently. “Oh, and lose weight.”
- - -
It turned out the main office was located at a cemetery near Seoul’s down town. Or more like, that was where the entrance to the main office was located.
They had arrived at the graveyard at around one am, Kibum had begun digging up an anonymous grave near the back of the cemetery at around one fifteen am, and Kyuhyun had began crying when Kibum insisted that he must jump into the grave in order to enter at approximately one fourty am.
It was now two am and Kyuhyun was sitting somewhere that resembled the Principal’s office at his old high school. The receptionist glowered at him from behind her desk, he didn’t blame her. The moment Kibum had waltzed into the office he had greeted her with a ‘good morning sunshine’ and she had greeted him with a slap on the cheek. Kyuhyun wasn’t too surprised. Kyuhyun didn’t want to know.
“Kyuhyun, may I have your attention?” asked Kibum. Kyuhyun flickered his eyes towards his former(?) band-mate who was arranging scattered documents on his desk.
“Um, yes?” answered Kyuhyun. “Am I going to be told the meaning of life now? Or more precisely, why my life has no meaning?” he asked.
Kibum nodded and intertwined his fingers on the oak desk before leaning forward. He would have seemed classy had Kyuhyun not been awake on the night Kibum had decided to go on a drunken tweet spree. ‘im out of soju. gettin drunk of the methane that’s coming out of my dogs butt. ha ha.’
“So I’ve looked at your files, and I have come to the conclusion the world doesn’t need you.” he stated bluntly.
‘the methane is a metaphor for donghae, my dog’s butt is really LSM’s butt. soju is just soju’ “Wait, what?” Kyuhyun snapped out of his reverie. “How can you decide that? You have no proof!” he cried. “Did you not see how Victoria had a mental breakdown over my death?”
Kibum shrugged nonchalantly and began swifting through another pile of paper. “She’ll get over it in time” he said, stopping at a blue coloured document. “More specifically, she’ll get over it in one year, six months, five days and ten seconds.”
Kyuhyun glared incredulously at him. “How do you know-”
“Six seconds” interrupted Kibum. “How do you think I know? I’m Lucifer’s bitch remember?”
“Everyone heals over the loss of a loved one! Moving on doesn’t mean the person is a waste of life. I mean you left-” Kyuhyun was about to add Kibum’s recent MIA as an example, until he realised how him and his scandalous social networking life would simply contradict his point.
“Yes, but leaving such little impact on other people means you’re just better of dead.” Kibum replied matter-of-factly. “Please, I can show you how the world can move on like you were never there.”
“Please. Enlighten me.” Kyuhyun challenged, leaning forward in mock expectation.
There was a glint of amusement behind Kibum’s eyes as he replied. “Of course, that’s why I’m here.”
Kyuhyun lost his grip on reality at approximately two twenty am and a click of a finger.
- - -
Below him the city lights blurred into a myriad of colours as he soared smoothly over the famed skyline, the gentle breeze tickling his numb face. Kyuhyun gasped, the night air was chill, but it was pleasantly so. “Kibum” he turned to stare at his companion. “Are we flying?”
“No” he answered. “Actually, you’re hallucinating. I did the spiritual equivalent of drugging you. Don’t worry, you’ll snap out of it soon.”
“Oh” Kyuhyun replied, spirits dampened. Well that sucked.
- - -
“Why are we back at the graveyard?” asked Kyuhyun, spinning around in order to get a three sixty view of his surroundings. They were at the edge of a small gathering, everyone was dressed in black and had their heads lowered in grievance.
“We’re in the cemetery at September 2013, the anniversary of your death.” responded Kibum.
Kyuhyun gave a satisfied chuckle. “Looks like I’m not a waste after all.”
Kibum made a small sound of disagreement before leading Kyuhyun towards the middle of the crowd. He found his place in between two familiar people and beckoned Kyuhyun to come forward. At the front of the group his mother was making heartfelt comments about Kyuhyun, her eyes moist and her voice quivering. Kyuhyun almost felt guilty for dying.
“People love me” Kyuhyun sniffed a little and wiped his noise with his sleeve.
“More like your mum does.” said Kibum. He pointed towards the person on Kyuhyun’s left who was giving the ground his undivided attention. Although most of his features couldn’t be made out, Kyuhyun had seen that side profile enough for it to be recognisable in a beat.
“Yesung?” he said, leaning forward. From the new angle he noticed that Yesung hadn’t been staring at the ground, more like the bastard was eyeing his mobile phone.
“He’s texting! At my death anniversary!” yelled Kyuhyun in outrage.
“Actually he’s sexting. But close enough.” Kibum corrected. Sure enough, as soon as Yesung received a reply he bit his lip and smiled shyly.
“When is this going to be over? I have an MCing gig at three.” complained a familiar voice behind Kyuhyun.
Eunhyuk was bouncing impatiently on the balls of his feet. Kangin elbowed him roughly from the left, making disapproving tsking sounds. Kyuhyun liked Kangin, service had made him a better person. Clearly.
“Are you sure you set up the fireworks properly? Where’s the boom?” Kangin whispered harshly, pinching Eunhyuk’s rib and causing him to keel over.
“I thought I did!” the latter protested, swatting away Kangin’s arm. “Maybe someone tampered with it in the meanwhile.”
“Great” snarled Sungmin, uncharacteristically bitter. “Thanks to Eunhyuk we’re stuck here for another hour.”
Kyuhyun’s jaw dropped. “These aren’t my bandmates.” he stated. From next to him Yesung pressed the send button on his cellphone and Sungmin’s immediately started vibrating. Kyuhyun’s eyes flickered between the two of them. “Okay, yeah. These aren’t my bandmates.”
Kibum was clearly amused. “Oh, I can assure you they are.” He lit up a cigarette and held it firmly between his lips, taking a drag. “As I said, people will get over you.”
“I’ll show them over me!” snarled Kyuhyun, lunging straight for Eunhyuk’s neck. However, Kyuhyun just fell through it and landed undignifyingly on the ground.
Kibum sighed and helped lift Kyuhyun up from the dirt, the latter still glaring at the back of Eunhyuk’s head. “I hope you’ve realised you aren’t as important as you’ve made yourself out to be.” he stated, about to click his fingers to whisk them back to the present.
A loud boom resounded through the air, causing Kibum to stumble forward whilst snapping his fingers together. Both him and Kyuhyun vanished in a crackle of blue electricity.
“See! I told you I set them off properly!” proclaimed Eunhyuk. Pointing gleefully at the coloured lights exploding in the atmosphere, spelling ‘Cho Kyuhyun’ into the navy blue sky.
- - -
“Where are we?” groaned Kyuhyun, massaging his temples.
Kibum ambled forward, clutching his head between his palms. “I don’t know, I-” he surveyed the empty room. “I think it’s a week after you died.”
The door behind the duo clicked open softly, and Donghae entered the room carrying a large package in the form of a cardboard box, his eyes swollen and his breath heavy. He opened the blinds to allow strands of light to enter the otherwise dull room.
He opened the package and tentatively began removing items from it. Items that Kyuhyun knew all too well. The movie tickets from their first date together, the stuffed care-bear Kyuhyun had given him on their three month anniversary, Kyuhyun’s half of their couple rings.
“Wow!” Kibum exclaimed. “I didn’t know you guys were that serious.” he said, rubbing his palms nervously against his thighs.
Kyuhyun felt his stomach begin to whirl and he swallowed his feelings before firmly replying. “I didn’t realise it either...” Because honestly, the last memory he had of Donghae was one where neither of them were looking at the other and Kyuhyun was all ears during an interview. In fact, the only bit of that memory which contained ‘Donghae’ was the parts where the former was hugging himself and pouting like a five year old when Kyuhyun had asserted to the interviewer that ‘gays are weird’, and ‘boobs are where it’s at’. Which also made him look like a pervert, but it was a small sacrifice.
There was also the aftermath of the locked door and screaming and the ‘fine, you’re not a douche. But tell that to your tactless defence mechanism’. But Kyuhyun didn’t really want to dwell too long on that.
The doorbell rang and Donghae did a double take before heading for the door. Kibum grabbed Kyuhyun’s wrist in a flurry and was about to click his fingers before Kyuhyun stopped him.
“What are you doing?” Kibum hissed,
“No, I want to see more! This might be the last time I get to see Donghae.” Kyuhyun held onto Kibum’s hand tightly, while the latter struggled to be free of Kyuhyun’s grip.
“We have other places to go!” protested Kibum.
“Hey babe, I heard you’re single and ready to mingle.” Kibum’s slurred voice came from the entrance of the room.
Kyuhyun and Kibum stopped their momentary struggle and both turned to the sight in front of them. Donghae held the door open for another, more intoxicated, Kibum.
“You’re kidding me.” deadpanned Kyuhyun.
“Kibum, we’ve been through this before.” Donghae said, clearly exasperated, but nonetheless inviting Kibum inside.
Kibum stumbled forward before landing on the carpet knees first. “Yeah, but before you had a boyfriend.”
“And now he’s dead. Time flies by so fast, doesn’t it.” replied Donghae bitterly, sitting down beside drunk Kibum who was playing with the unpacked contents of the box. Donghae drew his knees towards himself and rested his head between them. “How did this happen?” he asked, his voice tinged with melancholy.
Drunk Kibum rotated around to face Donghae and lifted the older boy’s chin up delicately. “You’re going to have to move on eventually, right?” Donghae nodded. “Why not now?” he leaned forward to capture Donghae in a delicate-
“YOU SLUTTY HOBO!” shrieked Kyuhyun, tackling Kibum onto the ground. They had a tussle on the floor, with Kyuhyun attempting to smash the living daylights out of Kibum’s face and Kibum scratching Kyuhyun’s arms and squealing like a bitch into his ear.
“With. My. Boyfriend.” Kyuhyun ground out, pulling Kibum’s hair.
“EX. BOYFRIEND.” Kibum bit Kyuhyun’s wrist and attempted to kick him off.
However, Kyuhyun had the clear advantage in height and trapped Kibum between his thighs. “You’re my meat now!” he exclaimed before they were engulfed by blue static.
- - -
“Boys! Boys! Boys!” shrieked the receptionist, ringing the counter bell in rapid succession. “Kibum stop pissing off your clients!”
“He started it!” defended Kibum, trying to gnaw Kyuhyun’s arm off. Kyuhyun hissed and slapped the right side of Kibum’s face.
“If you tear the space-time continuum one more time, Lucifer’s going to hell with you!” warned the receptionist. She grabbed both of the boys by the collar and separated them. “You’re hardly the only Kim Kibum in this world.” Kibum snarled and broke away from her grip.
“And you.” she said, turning to Kyuhyun. “Time travel isn’t cheap, we have fines for rowdy clients. Behave yourself, got it?” Kyuhyun nodded grudgingly and shook himself free from her old. The receptionist nodded satisfied. “Good, now shake hands.”
Both parties flickered their eyes from each other to the receptionist, who was glowering at them with the intensity of a thousand suns. In the end they both cautiously shook each other’s hands and Kyuhyun was such a good boy he even ignored Kibum’s whisper of ‘for your information, he totally kissed back’.
The receptionist clapped her hands together jubilantly. “Great! Now hug.” she demanded, causing Kibum and Kyuhyun to begin choking in disgust.
Kibum gave her an up-down and snapped his fingers with extra attitude. “Bitch. Who died and made you Queen?”. Kyuhyun followed with a ‘burn, sistah’ before the signature blue electricity whisked them away.
- - -
“I still think you’re a whore.” asserted Kyuhyun. Kibum ignored him and walked into the conference room
Kibum and Kyuhyun had made a peace treaty, that neither of them would attempt to annihilate the other as long as Kibum would show him exactly how Donghae was fairing two years after his death. Partly because Kyuhyun believed that for himself to move on, Donghae must move on. And partly because he was seventy percent sure Kibum would still be trying something on him two years into the future.
“You know, if we did hook up, shouldn’t you be happy?” protested Kibum. “You’re the one who wants him to move on.”
“I’d rather Donghae die sad and miserable than die happy with you” Kyuhyun shot back, fully aware of how unhealthy is anti-bias against the ‘KiHae’ was.
Donghae sat at the end of the room, surrounded by people Kyuhyun recognised as being some of SM’s directors and biggest stockholders. At the other end of the conference room, facing Donghae directly, sat Sungmin. He was donning a goatee and was examining Donghae as if he was a peace of meat, rather than his band member of eight years.
“What’s Sungmin doing here?” whispered Kyuhyun.
“You’ll see” replied Kibum, a grin stretching across his pasty features.
Sungmin slapped an envelope against his ivory desk. “We can’t have this, Donghae.”
“Have what?” challenged Donghae, raising his eyebrows in provocation.
“You’re suing our company? Did your brain melt into some kind of-” the woman next to Sungmin pulled on his sleeve, willing him to calm down.
Donghae tilted his head back, staring at Sungmin with an air of difference. But Kyuhyun noticed the small things, like how Donghae was rubbing his palms together, and how he was tapping his heels against each other. The small things that indicated Donghae was, bluntly put, about to shit himself scared.
“Donghae, we bought permission to use your songs! We hardly stole intellectual property.” Sungmin rambled, his face buried into his hands.
The man who occupied the seat next to Donghae whispered something softly into his ear before straightening up, adjusting his glasses, and glaring pointedly at Sungmin with evil eyes. “My client claims he had informed you that he no longer wanted to sell those songs three days before SHINee’s fourth album began recording.”
Sungmin opened his mouth to protest, but the lady beside him spoke first. “No Mr. Hwang. Your ‘client’ barged into Mr. Lee’s office, broke his photocopy machine, called my client a-” she cleared her throat before reading off a yellow tinted document “girly faced bitch hole, threw up on his cat”- an unanimous ‘ew’ echoed throughout the room- “recited a degrading joke about my client’s mother, and then preceded to tell my client ‘I wouldn’t want Hyukjae’s ass to buy my songs’’” her eyes scanned the crowd of disgusted individuals. “If this is what you meant by your client informing Mr. Lee of his disinterest in selling the songs, well I digress.”
Donghae smiled sheepishly at Sungmin from across the room, the latter shook his head disapprovingly.
Mr. Hwang, Donghae’s lawyer it would seem, simply shrugged. “I never claimed my client wasn’t an asshole-”
“Hey!”
“Just that he had told your client beforehand that he did not want to sell the songs. We have a verbal recording confirming this.”
Donghae whispered gently into Mr. Hwang’s ear and a small disagreement followed where Mr. Hwang shook his head in protest and Donghae persisted in his request. In the end Mr. Hwang gave in and turned to confront Sungmin and his minions. “My client would like the speak to the defendant privately.”
Sungmin’s lawyer looked outrage but Sungmin placed a reassuring hand on her back and smiled. Indicating that he was fine with Donghae’s request. “I’d like to speak to my band mate outside of the conference room please.” he rose from his chair and exited the room, beckoning for Donghae to follow.
Kibum led Kyuhyun safely out of the conference room, squeezing his hand supportingly. Kyuhyun didn’t have time to dwell on this uncharacteristic gesture because, well, his roommate and his boyfriend were in a lawsuit.
Donghae closed the door softly behind him. Sungmin was leaning on one of the corridor’s walls, stealing fond glances at Donghae. “Is this about Kyuhyun?” he asked.
Donghae snapped his head around, his elbow colliding with the edge of the door frame. “Excuse me?” he asked.
“Is this about Kyuhyun?” repeated Sungmin, approaching Donghae guardedly. “I’m not stupid Donghae, I know who those songs were written about.”
“Well, if you knew who it was written about why did you give them to SHINee?” asked Donghae, curling his hand into a fist.
Sungmin snorted and kicked the wall beside the younger boy. “Um, because you sold them to me. That’s business Donghae, I’m sorry you fail to understand a concept as simple as buying and selling.”
“I’m sorry you’re clearly losing this lawsuit!” retorted Donghae, smirking in satisfaction when Sungmin froze stiff.
“I’m not losing this lawsuit.” Sungmin asserted, but his voice quivered as he spoke.
“I’m going to make sure my lawyer digs deep, and I mean deep. Oh Sungmin, don’t act like skeletons aren’t all you have in your closet.” Donghae spoke with an arrogance and ruthlessness that Kyuhyun was unfamiliar with, and it scared him.
Whatever Sungmin said in response, Kyuhyun didn’t hear, because he bolted out of the building and collapsed beside a large dumpster near the end of the street. He rubbed his face, smudging warm tears against his cheek.
“Here.” Kibum held out a tissue, but Kyuhyun swatted it away. “It’s not all bad you know.”
Kyuhyun sniffed. “How so?”
“Well, Donghae wins the case and Sungmin goes bankrupt- but he finds himself again in the great mountains of Nepal!” Kibum added quickly upon seeing Kyuhyun’s horror stricken face.
“You- you said everything could go on fine without me.” accused Kyuhyun. He cringed at how bloated his voice sounded. He recalled the time back in Kibum’s office, where Kyuhyun was so adamant on everyone being miserable upon his passing. Man, he was full of it.
“I never said fine. This would have happened either way, had you been dead or alive.” defended Kibum.
Kyuhyun blinked up at him confused, Kibum sighed. “You said it yourself. You didn’t know how serious you and Donghae were.” he explained, patting Kyuhyun awkwardly on the head.
Kyuhyun wiped the tears from his eyes. “There’s no way for me to go back?” he asked. Kibum nodded his head solemnly, breaking Kyuhyun’s heart in the process. “Well okay, then I’ll just have to find-”
Kyuhyun never got to finish his sentence because the earth beneath him began shaking, and the cracks in the pavement widened to reveal a bottomless pit of fire. Kyuhyun shrieked and held onto the dumpster for dear life, edging away from the enlarging cracks.
“Kibum! What’s going on!” Kyuhyun screeched, panicking when he noticed Kibum evaporating into thin air.
“My jobs done. You saw what you had to see. Your time has come, goodbye Kyuhyun.” he spoke as formally as possible, but Kyuhyun could sense the pity in his voice,
“Wait, Kibum!” Kyuhyun searched his mind for words. “I love you!” he tried.
Kibum made a face of disgust before promptly replying ‘ew’. But as he dissolved into indistinguishable particles, Kyuhyun could see him smiling.
Kyuhyun crawled into the safety of the dumpster, watching the sky darken and the potholes on the street splutter out lava. He pressed himself against the filthy wall, willing his heart to settle. He never expected for his afterlife to go down this way, he wanted a peaceful afterlife with clouds and angels and Donghae playing an over-sized harp.
His knees began to burn and Kyuhyun hissed before glancing at the rubbish beneath him and almost shrieking. The trash was envoloping itself in fire, and liquid pools of lava formed from the melted waste. More importantly, the lava was searing Kyuhyun’s skin. The lid of the dumpster began rattling as a loud cackle emitted from the sky.
Kyuhyun screamed as he was engulfed by flames.
- - -
“He’s stirring! Guys, he’s stirring!” Sungmin shook Kyuhyun’s shoulders, riling him from his state of semi-consciousness.
Kyuhyun opened his eyes wearily, his vision slowly focusing itself on Sungmin’s worried face staring fondly down at him. Kyuhyun reached out and stroked Sungmin’s chin, he could tell that the latter was immensely creeped out but was trying his best not to show it. “No facial hair...” commented Kyuhyun.
Sungmin smiled softly and ruffled Kyuhyun’s hair. “Yes Kyuhyun, no facial hair.” he answered, pretending as if the comment had made all the sense in the world to him. “The Paramedics are going to come soon, so just stay calm and relax.” Sungmin looked and sounded almost hysterical. But so did the people surrounding him. Kyuhyun recognised some of the earlier faces, which were once crying tears of anguish, now crying tears of relief. Victoria gave him a tiny wave to which Kyuhyun responded with an eye smile.
“Kyuhyun! Kyuhyun! Are you alive?” Donghae pushed his way through the crowd, landing on his knees beside Kyuhyun. “You’re alive.” his voice cracked at the last word. Kyuhyun noticed Donghae’s eyes rimmed red, and his heart shuddered involuntarily. .
Kyuhyun nodded weakly at him with lidded eyes. Donghae bit his lip, suppressing a sob, and instead squeezed Kyuhyun’s hand reassuringly. “It’s going to be fine. We’ve been through worse. So the ceiling collapsed and we thought you were dead, but you’re not dead, which is fantastic. We called the paramedics and stuff and they should be here soon and...”
Kyuhyun didn’t listen, he was staring intently at the corner of the room. His eyebrows furrowing as he distinguished the familiar figure.
“...so Changmin broke half the speakers in angst and- Kyuhyun are you listening to me?” asked Donghae.
Kyuhyun blinked up at him before propping himself up on his elbows. The effort made him wince, but he refused Donghae’s help when his arm reached out instinctively. Donghae sighed. “Kyuhyun, lie down. You’re going to-”
Kyuhyun wrapped one arm around Donghae’s neck as he struggled upwards to join their lips together. He could hear his surroundings quieten, and he was sure he could make out some suppressed squeals.
It wasn’t particularly romantic, as the amount of energy required to sit even remotely upright took the biggest toll on him. And not even five seconds in did he collapse on the floor, body weakened from exhaustion.
“Um.” Donghae spoke, evidently stunned.
“Ahem”
Kyuhyun and Donghae both turned to see a male Paramedic who was scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably. “Is he the-”
“What? Oh yes! That’s him! You should, you should save him now...” Donghae trailed of lamely as a blush spread across his cheeks.
The Paramedics lifted Kyuhyun up from the wreckage, placing him cautiously on a long stretcher. Hyukjae was arguing heatedly with the head Paramedic, persuading him to let him ride in the back with Kyuhyun. Or drive the ambulance. Kyuhyun couldn’t be too sure, because he was mouthing a ‘thank you’ to Kibum who was standing isolated in the corner of the room, returning the gesture with the first genuine smile Kyuhyun had seen on him in years.
- - -
Fin
a/n: Writing stories with no plot and other activities for a rainy day. Anyway, this was just a way for me to get back into my writing muse. I don't know what this is- but yeah. The purpose of this fic was just so I could write Kibum has a shifty hobo, which is completely canon, j'saying. I should have gave Kibum a goatee instead of Sungmin. Can Sungmin even grow facial hair? There's probably a million typos in here, seeing how I lost steam more than halfway through. Also, I suspect it might be a little incoherent.
Also, hands up if Kyuhyun and Kibum should have totally gotten together.
p.s: Look at me, using blockquote like a pro!
In which Kyuhyun dies on the second Tuesday of September, and Kibum is assigned to help him find himself. This naturally foreshadows eternal damnation.
Kyuhyun dies on the second Tuesday of September.
It wasn’t a particularly glamorous way to die. On a scale of one to ten, Kyuhyun would rank his death on a six. Three points for grandeur, and another three points simply because of location. Location, location.
One minute he was performing half heartedly on Music Bank’s stage, the next minute his lungs were protesting for oxygen and the metal framework of the building’s ceiling was digging into his rib. He tasted something rusty on the inside of his cheek, his common sense told him it was blood. His mind promptly responded with ‘no, really genius?'.
People were screaming, and he feebly attempted opening his eyes to no avail. He could feel the steel pole embedded in his chest shifting and soon he was was free of the metallic burden. Though the rest of his body was still in agony, seeing how pain was searing through his veins and all. He felt the back of his eyes prickle, there was a white light, and it was getting brighter-
‘Holy shit! Someone call an ambulance!’
and brighter-
‘Everyone move, step away from him, evacuate the premises’
and brighter-
‘Wait! No, I can help him!’ - ‘Tell that to the paramedics, yeah!’
and brighter-
‘Kyuhyun! Can you hear me! Kyuhyun!’
Until the sheer intensity caused his retinas to burn, and suddenly his surroundings became mute and the sensational pain was gone. ‘Strange’ he thought.
His eyes flickered open with little effort and were met with the sight of a large, discombobulated crowd. The consensus amongst the gathering seemed to be to scream and cry as loudly as one could muster, in any other instance Kyuhyun would have been annoyed. Except right now he was more frightened and concerned than anything else, because unless Heechul had finally gone through with his threat and put LSD into the drinking water, Kyuhyun was almost certain he had been on the brink of death a few seconds ago.
He pushed his way through the cluster of people, murmuring half hearted apologies which generally went ignored. He crept further in until he reached a strip of police tape which acted as a barrier between the masses and-
His lifeless body.
‘Oh’ he thought to himself. Dead wasn’t a good look on him. He didn’t look peaceful at all, just grimy and filthy, like Eunhyuk on a good day. Also, were his cheeks always that fat? Was Ryeowook right about him resembling a dumpling? This potentially out of body experience made him more self conscious than anything else and he patted his stomach in a moment of low ego.
He could hear familiar sobs emitting from beside him, and he turned to see Victoria crying silently into her sleeve. He wanted to cringe, Kyuhyun hated seeing girls cry, especially when the girl was one of his best friends. But it was okay, he was alive, and this was all a misunderstanding, and as soon as Victoria saw him and his extant self she would throw herself into his arms and would love him more than she did before.
“Hey, Song Qian, don’t worry. I’m fine. I’m alive!” he grinned, stroking her long hair lovingly. But Victoria either ignored him or genuinely couldn’t feel his affections because she just wailed loudly into her hands.
“He was so talented! He was beautiful, funny, kind-” her voice cracked at the last syllable and she collapsed onto the ground, a broken mess. A gaggle of male idols made their way towards her, muttering words of comfort. He presumed the one holding her against his chest was Nichkhun, simply by default.
Of course Kyuhyun watched this all from afar, because no one seemed to be able to see him, hear him, or feel him. To test out the latter theory he may or may not have subtly rubbed Jessica’s butt when she was yelling frustrated obscenities into the air. Nothing changed, except now she was ranting about how Kyuhyun had been an amazing friend, was courteous, talented and cordial. The usual complimentary praise for the deceased.
Kyuhyun would have been rather flattered, had he not been experiencing a slow epiphany.
“I...” Kyuhyun caressed his face gently, expecting plump, warm, flesh. Instead he came into contact with hard, cold, skin. “I think I’m dead...” he mused softly.
“I think you’re overrated.” a deep voice whispered into Kyuhyun’s ear, causing him to almost topple on top of Onew who was teetering dangerously over the police line.
Kyuhyun rubbed his eyes until his vision became blurry, his mind denying the existence of the person before him. He blinked several times, but he was still there. Smirking and and standing in front of Kyuhyun like a higher being. There was supernatural, like Kyuhyun’s soul becoming detached from his body, and then there was just absurd, like the situation he was facing right now.
“Kibum!” he gasped. “I thought you were dead- a-acting!” he backed away slowly, hiding behind Changmin who was explaining the situation heatedly to the paramedics. Kibum just chuckled at his antics and walked straight through DBSK’s youngest, coming nose to nose with Kyuhyun.
“You thought wrong maknae” laughed Kibum.
“How- how did you do that?” Kyuhyun asked. Hoping the question would send Kibum into some sort of dramatic monologue so he could escape.
But Kibum’s answer was short and sweet with a tinge of indifference, just like his answers during press conferences, just like his answers all the time actually. “We can touch people all we want.” he ran his fingers down Changmin’s arm to demonstrate his point. Kyuhyun shivered, feeling violated on Changmin’s behalf. “And they won’t feel it at all.” he grazed his thumb under Changmin’s lips. Creep. “But anything more than a nudge or a light touch-”
He smirked and grabbed Kyuhyun’s arm, pulling him straight through Changmin’s body, and Onew’s, and Jessica’s, and Nichkhun’s, and Victoria’s, until they were up against the back wall of the studio. Alone and a relatively far distance from the group of idol mourners. “And you’ll go right through them” finished Kibum, grinning like he was the bloody Chesire Cat. Which he sort was, in this case.
“Holy shit” swore Kyuhyun, feeling himself for any remains of human organs, blood or undigested food. “Shit. Shit. Shit.” he articulated. He turned to Kibum, disbelief written all over his face. “I thought you were acting.” he repeated again.
Kibum scoffed. “Please, have you even seen any of my dramas advertised?” Kyuhyun shook his head. “Yeah, thought so. Acting is a hard business Kyuhyun” he sighed, something almost whimsical in his tone.
“So” Kyuhyun started, circling his feet over the rubble garnished floor. “How long have you been dead then?”
Kibum exploded into raucous laughter, slapping his thighs as if Kyuhyun was the funniest gag man in the world. This was followed by violent coughing and sputtering.
Kibum cleared his throat and straightened up, wiping non-existent dust off his suit. “Oh, I’m not dead. Well I am now, but it’s only part time.” he rummaged through his pockets for a cigarette, lighting it up with a click of his fingers. He inhaled a lengthy breath of nicotine and sighed before noticing Kyuhyun’s aghast expression. “I owe Lucifer a favour, and helping the lost causes see the importance of life becomes more of a chore than a novelty when you’re the King of Darkness.” he explained.
Kyuhyun nodded in understanding, although his surprise had been at the cigarette. Kibum being dead part time wasn’t too far off to believe. “So... why do you owe him a favour?” he asked, and immediately regretted it. Because Kibum’s eyes became dark and he started muttering some unintelligible babble. All Kyuhyun could catch was ‘spawn of Satan’ and ‘Shinee’, and by then he decided he didn’t want know, so he just shook his head and stared absent mindedly at the Paramedics carrying away his corpse.
“Wait!” he snapped, causing Kibum to begin choking on his smoke. “How am I a lost cause?” he demanded, placing his hands on his hips in an attempt to impose.
Kibum scoffed. “Are you seriously asking me that?”
“How am I, Cho Kyuhyun, a lost cause?” he beckoned towards himself in order to prove his point.
Kibum gave him and up-down before promptly replying. “You’ve gained weight.” Kyuhyun almost cried, but Kibum remained oblivious. “I’ll explain everything back at the main office, you don’t really have to do anything. Just shut up and listen.” he said. Kyuhyun swallowed before nodding obediently. “Oh, and lose weight.”
- - -
It turned out the main office was located at a cemetery near Seoul’s down town. Or more like, that was where the entrance to the main office was located.
They had arrived at the graveyard at around one am, Kibum had begun digging up an anonymous grave near the back of the cemetery at around one fifteen am, and Kyuhyun had began crying when Kibum insisted that he must jump into the grave in order to enter at approximately one fourty am.
It was now two am and Kyuhyun was sitting somewhere that resembled the Principal’s office at his old high school. The receptionist glowered at him from behind her desk, he didn’t blame her. The moment Kibum had waltzed into the office he had greeted her with a ‘good morning sunshine’ and she had greeted him with a slap on the cheek. Kyuhyun wasn’t too surprised. Kyuhyun didn’t want to know.
“Kyuhyun, may I have your attention?” asked Kibum. Kyuhyun flickered his eyes towards his former(?) band-mate who was arranging scattered documents on his desk.
“Um, yes?” answered Kyuhyun. “Am I going to be told the meaning of life now? Or more precisely, why my life has no meaning?” he asked.
Kibum nodded and intertwined his fingers on the oak desk before leaning forward. He would have seemed classy had Kyuhyun not been awake on the night Kibum had decided to go on a drunken tweet spree. ‘im out of soju. gettin drunk of the methane that’s coming out of my dogs butt. ha ha.’
“So I’ve looked at your files, and I have come to the conclusion the world doesn’t need you.” he stated bluntly.
‘the methane is a metaphor for donghae, my dog’s butt is really LSM’s butt. soju is just soju’ “Wait, what?” Kyuhyun snapped out of his reverie. “How can you decide that? You have no proof!” he cried. “Did you not see how Victoria had a mental breakdown over my death?”
Kibum shrugged nonchalantly and began swifting through another pile of paper. “She’ll get over it in time” he said, stopping at a blue coloured document. “More specifically, she’ll get over it in one year, six months, five days and ten seconds.”
Kyuhyun glared incredulously at him. “How do you know-”
“Six seconds” interrupted Kibum. “How do you think I know? I’m Lucifer’s bitch remember?”
“Everyone heals over the loss of a loved one! Moving on doesn’t mean the person is a waste of life. I mean you left-” Kyuhyun was about to add Kibum’s recent MIA as an example, until he realised how him and his scandalous social networking life would simply contradict his point.
“Yes, but leaving such little impact on other people means you’re just better of dead.” Kibum replied matter-of-factly. “Please, I can show you how the world can move on like you were never there.”
“Please. Enlighten me.” Kyuhyun challenged, leaning forward in mock expectation.
There was a glint of amusement behind Kibum’s eyes as he replied. “Of course, that’s why I’m here.”
Kyuhyun lost his grip on reality at approximately two twenty am and a click of a finger.
- - -
Below him the city lights blurred into a myriad of colours as he soared smoothly over the famed skyline, the gentle breeze tickling his numb face. Kyuhyun gasped, the night air was chill, but it was pleasantly so. “Kibum” he turned to stare at his companion. “Are we flying?”
“No” he answered. “Actually, you’re hallucinating. I did the spiritual equivalent of drugging you. Don’t worry, you’ll snap out of it soon.”
“Oh” Kyuhyun replied, spirits dampened. Well that sucked.
- - -
“Why are we back at the graveyard?” asked Kyuhyun, spinning around in order to get a three sixty view of his surroundings. They were at the edge of a small gathering, everyone was dressed in black and had their heads lowered in grievance.
“We’re in the cemetery at September 2013, the anniversary of your death.” responded Kibum.
Kyuhyun gave a satisfied chuckle. “Looks like I’m not a waste after all.”
Kibum made a small sound of disagreement before leading Kyuhyun towards the middle of the crowd. He found his place in between two familiar people and beckoned Kyuhyun to come forward. At the front of the group his mother was making heartfelt comments about Kyuhyun, her eyes moist and her voice quivering. Kyuhyun almost felt guilty for dying.
“People love me” Kyuhyun sniffed a little and wiped his noise with his sleeve.
“More like your mum does.” said Kibum. He pointed towards the person on Kyuhyun’s left who was giving the ground his undivided attention. Although most of his features couldn’t be made out, Kyuhyun had seen that side profile enough for it to be recognisable in a beat.
“Yesung?” he said, leaning forward. From the new angle he noticed that Yesung hadn’t been staring at the ground, more like the bastard was eyeing his mobile phone.
“He’s texting! At my death anniversary!” yelled Kyuhyun in outrage.
“Actually he’s sexting. But close enough.” Kibum corrected. Sure enough, as soon as Yesung received a reply he bit his lip and smiled shyly.
“When is this going to be over? I have an MCing gig at three.” complained a familiar voice behind Kyuhyun.
Eunhyuk was bouncing impatiently on the balls of his feet. Kangin elbowed him roughly from the left, making disapproving tsking sounds. Kyuhyun liked Kangin, service had made him a better person. Clearly.
“Are you sure you set up the fireworks properly? Where’s the boom?” Kangin whispered harshly, pinching Eunhyuk’s rib and causing him to keel over.
“I thought I did!” the latter protested, swatting away Kangin’s arm. “Maybe someone tampered with it in the meanwhile.”
“Great” snarled Sungmin, uncharacteristically bitter. “Thanks to Eunhyuk we’re stuck here for another hour.”
Kyuhyun’s jaw dropped. “These aren’t my bandmates.” he stated. From next to him Yesung pressed the send button on his cellphone and Sungmin’s immediately started vibrating. Kyuhyun’s eyes flickered between the two of them. “Okay, yeah. These aren’t my bandmates.”
Kibum was clearly amused. “Oh, I can assure you they are.” He lit up a cigarette and held it firmly between his lips, taking a drag. “As I said, people will get over you.”
“I’ll show them over me!” snarled Kyuhyun, lunging straight for Eunhyuk’s neck. However, Kyuhyun just fell through it and landed undignifyingly on the ground.
Kibum sighed and helped lift Kyuhyun up from the dirt, the latter still glaring at the back of Eunhyuk’s head. “I hope you’ve realised you aren’t as important as you’ve made yourself out to be.” he stated, about to click his fingers to whisk them back to the present.
A loud boom resounded through the air, causing Kibum to stumble forward whilst snapping his fingers together. Both him and Kyuhyun vanished in a crackle of blue electricity.
“See! I told you I set them off properly!” proclaimed Eunhyuk. Pointing gleefully at the coloured lights exploding in the atmosphere, spelling ‘Cho Kyuhyun’ into the navy blue sky.
- - -
“Where are we?” groaned Kyuhyun, massaging his temples.
Kibum ambled forward, clutching his head between his palms. “I don’t know, I-” he surveyed the empty room. “I think it’s a week after you died.”
The door behind the duo clicked open softly, and Donghae entered the room carrying a large package in the form of a cardboard box, his eyes swollen and his breath heavy. He opened the blinds to allow strands of light to enter the otherwise dull room.
He opened the package and tentatively began removing items from it. Items that Kyuhyun knew all too well. The movie tickets from their first date together, the stuffed care-bear Kyuhyun had given him on their three month anniversary, Kyuhyun’s half of their couple rings.
“Wow!” Kibum exclaimed. “I didn’t know you guys were that serious.” he said, rubbing his palms nervously against his thighs.
Kyuhyun felt his stomach begin to whirl and he swallowed his feelings before firmly replying. “I didn’t realise it either...” Because honestly, the last memory he had of Donghae was one where neither of them were looking at the other and Kyuhyun was all ears during an interview. In fact, the only bit of that memory which contained ‘Donghae’ was the parts where the former was hugging himself and pouting like a five year old when Kyuhyun had asserted to the interviewer that ‘gays are weird’, and ‘boobs are where it’s at’. Which also made him look like a pervert, but it was a small sacrifice.
There was also the aftermath of the locked door and screaming and the ‘fine, you’re not a douche. But tell that to your tactless defence mechanism’. But Kyuhyun didn’t really want to dwell too long on that.
The doorbell rang and Donghae did a double take before heading for the door. Kibum grabbed Kyuhyun’s wrist in a flurry and was about to click his fingers before Kyuhyun stopped him.
“What are you doing?” Kibum hissed,
“No, I want to see more! This might be the last time I get to see Donghae.” Kyuhyun held onto Kibum’s hand tightly, while the latter struggled to be free of Kyuhyun’s grip.
“We have other places to go!” protested Kibum.
“Hey babe, I heard you’re single and ready to mingle.” Kibum’s slurred voice came from the entrance of the room.
Kyuhyun and Kibum stopped their momentary struggle and both turned to the sight in front of them. Donghae held the door open for another, more intoxicated, Kibum.
“You’re kidding me.” deadpanned Kyuhyun.
“Kibum, we’ve been through this before.” Donghae said, clearly exasperated, but nonetheless inviting Kibum inside.
Kibum stumbled forward before landing on the carpet knees first. “Yeah, but before you had a boyfriend.”
“And now he’s dead. Time flies by so fast, doesn’t it.” replied Donghae bitterly, sitting down beside drunk Kibum who was playing with the unpacked contents of the box. Donghae drew his knees towards himself and rested his head between them. “How did this happen?” he asked, his voice tinged with melancholy.
Drunk Kibum rotated around to face Donghae and lifted the older boy’s chin up delicately. “You’re going to have to move on eventually, right?” Donghae nodded. “Why not now?” he leaned forward to capture Donghae in a delicate-
“YOU SLUTTY HOBO!” shrieked Kyuhyun, tackling Kibum onto the ground. They had a tussle on the floor, with Kyuhyun attempting to smash the living daylights out of Kibum’s face and Kibum scratching Kyuhyun’s arms and squealing like a bitch into his ear.
“With. My. Boyfriend.” Kyuhyun ground out, pulling Kibum’s hair.
“EX. BOYFRIEND.” Kibum bit Kyuhyun’s wrist and attempted to kick him off.
However, Kyuhyun had the clear advantage in height and trapped Kibum between his thighs. “You’re my meat now!” he exclaimed before they were engulfed by blue static.
- - -
“Boys! Boys! Boys!” shrieked the receptionist, ringing the counter bell in rapid succession. “Kibum stop pissing off your clients!”
“He started it!” defended Kibum, trying to gnaw Kyuhyun’s arm off. Kyuhyun hissed and slapped the right side of Kibum’s face.
“If you tear the space-time continuum one more time, Lucifer’s going to hell with you!” warned the receptionist. She grabbed both of the boys by the collar and separated them. “You’re hardly the only Kim Kibum in this world.” Kibum snarled and broke away from her grip.
“And you.” she said, turning to Kyuhyun. “Time travel isn’t cheap, we have fines for rowdy clients. Behave yourself, got it?” Kyuhyun nodded grudgingly and shook himself free from her old. The receptionist nodded satisfied. “Good, now shake hands.”
Both parties flickered their eyes from each other to the receptionist, who was glowering at them with the intensity of a thousand suns. In the end they both cautiously shook each other’s hands and Kyuhyun was such a good boy he even ignored Kibum’s whisper of ‘for your information, he totally kissed back’.
The receptionist clapped her hands together jubilantly. “Great! Now hug.” she demanded, causing Kibum and Kyuhyun to begin choking in disgust.
Kibum gave her an up-down and snapped his fingers with extra attitude. “Bitch. Who died and made you Queen?”. Kyuhyun followed with a ‘burn, sistah’ before the signature blue electricity whisked them away.
- - -
“I still think you’re a whore.” asserted Kyuhyun. Kibum ignored him and walked into the conference room
Kibum and Kyuhyun had made a peace treaty, that neither of them would attempt to annihilate the other as long as Kibum would show him exactly how Donghae was fairing two years after his death. Partly because Kyuhyun believed that for himself to move on, Donghae must move on. And partly because he was seventy percent sure Kibum would still be trying something on him two years into the future.
“You know, if we did hook up, shouldn’t you be happy?” protested Kibum. “You’re the one who wants him to move on.”
“I’d rather Donghae die sad and miserable than die happy with you” Kyuhyun shot back, fully aware of how unhealthy is anti-bias against the ‘KiHae’ was.
Donghae sat at the end of the room, surrounded by people Kyuhyun recognised as being some of SM’s directors and biggest stockholders. At the other end of the conference room, facing Donghae directly, sat Sungmin. He was donning a goatee and was examining Donghae as if he was a peace of meat, rather than his band member of eight years.
“What’s Sungmin doing here?” whispered Kyuhyun.
“You’ll see” replied Kibum, a grin stretching across his pasty features.
Sungmin slapped an envelope against his ivory desk. “We can’t have this, Donghae.”
“Have what?” challenged Donghae, raising his eyebrows in provocation.
“You’re suing our company? Did your brain melt into some kind of-” the woman next to Sungmin pulled on his sleeve, willing him to calm down.
Donghae tilted his head back, staring at Sungmin with an air of difference. But Kyuhyun noticed the small things, like how Donghae was rubbing his palms together, and how he was tapping his heels against each other. The small things that indicated Donghae was, bluntly put, about to shit himself scared.
“Donghae, we bought permission to use your songs! We hardly stole intellectual property.” Sungmin rambled, his face buried into his hands.
The man who occupied the seat next to Donghae whispered something softly into his ear before straightening up, adjusting his glasses, and glaring pointedly at Sungmin with evil eyes. “My client claims he had informed you that he no longer wanted to sell those songs three days before SHINee’s fourth album began recording.”
Sungmin opened his mouth to protest, but the lady beside him spoke first. “No Mr. Hwang. Your ‘client’ barged into Mr. Lee’s office, broke his photocopy machine, called my client a-” she cleared her throat before reading off a yellow tinted document “girly faced bitch hole, threw up on his cat”- an unanimous ‘ew’ echoed throughout the room- “recited a degrading joke about my client’s mother, and then preceded to tell my client ‘I wouldn’t want Hyukjae’s ass to buy my songs’’” her eyes scanned the crowd of disgusted individuals. “If this is what you meant by your client informing Mr. Lee of his disinterest in selling the songs, well I digress.”
Donghae smiled sheepishly at Sungmin from across the room, the latter shook his head disapprovingly.
Mr. Hwang, Donghae’s lawyer it would seem, simply shrugged. “I never claimed my client wasn’t an asshole-”
“Hey!”
“Just that he had told your client beforehand that he did not want to sell the songs. We have a verbal recording confirming this.”
Donghae whispered gently into Mr. Hwang’s ear and a small disagreement followed where Mr. Hwang shook his head in protest and Donghae persisted in his request. In the end Mr. Hwang gave in and turned to confront Sungmin and his minions. “My client would like the speak to the defendant privately.”
Sungmin’s lawyer looked outrage but Sungmin placed a reassuring hand on her back and smiled. Indicating that he was fine with Donghae’s request. “I’d like to speak to my band mate outside of the conference room please.” he rose from his chair and exited the room, beckoning for Donghae to follow.
Kibum led Kyuhyun safely out of the conference room, squeezing his hand supportingly. Kyuhyun didn’t have time to dwell on this uncharacteristic gesture because, well, his roommate and his boyfriend were in a lawsuit.
Donghae closed the door softly behind him. Sungmin was leaning on one of the corridor’s walls, stealing fond glances at Donghae. “Is this about Kyuhyun?” he asked.
Donghae snapped his head around, his elbow colliding with the edge of the door frame. “Excuse me?” he asked.
“Is this about Kyuhyun?” repeated Sungmin, approaching Donghae guardedly. “I’m not stupid Donghae, I know who those songs were written about.”
“Well, if you knew who it was written about why did you give them to SHINee?” asked Donghae, curling his hand into a fist.
Sungmin snorted and kicked the wall beside the younger boy. “Um, because you sold them to me. That’s business Donghae, I’m sorry you fail to understand a concept as simple as buying and selling.”
“I’m sorry you’re clearly losing this lawsuit!” retorted Donghae, smirking in satisfaction when Sungmin froze stiff.
“I’m not losing this lawsuit.” Sungmin asserted, but his voice quivered as he spoke.
“I’m going to make sure my lawyer digs deep, and I mean deep. Oh Sungmin, don’t act like skeletons aren’t all you have in your closet.” Donghae spoke with an arrogance and ruthlessness that Kyuhyun was unfamiliar with, and it scared him.
Whatever Sungmin said in response, Kyuhyun didn’t hear, because he bolted out of the building and collapsed beside a large dumpster near the end of the street. He rubbed his face, smudging warm tears against his cheek.
“Here.” Kibum held out a tissue, but Kyuhyun swatted it away. “It’s not all bad you know.”
Kyuhyun sniffed. “How so?”
“Well, Donghae wins the case and Sungmin goes bankrupt- but he finds himself again in the great mountains of Nepal!” Kibum added quickly upon seeing Kyuhyun’s horror stricken face.
“You- you said everything could go on fine without me.” accused Kyuhyun. He cringed at how bloated his voice sounded. He recalled the time back in Kibum’s office, where Kyuhyun was so adamant on everyone being miserable upon his passing. Man, he was full of it.
“I never said fine. This would have happened either way, had you been dead or alive.” defended Kibum.
Kyuhyun blinked up at him confused, Kibum sighed. “You said it yourself. You didn’t know how serious you and Donghae were.” he explained, patting Kyuhyun awkwardly on the head.
Kyuhyun wiped the tears from his eyes. “There’s no way for me to go back?” he asked. Kibum nodded his head solemnly, breaking Kyuhyun’s heart in the process. “Well okay, then I’ll just have to find-”
Kyuhyun never got to finish his sentence because the earth beneath him began shaking, and the cracks in the pavement widened to reveal a bottomless pit of fire. Kyuhyun shrieked and held onto the dumpster for dear life, edging away from the enlarging cracks.
“Kibum! What’s going on!” Kyuhyun screeched, panicking when he noticed Kibum evaporating into thin air.
“My jobs done. You saw what you had to see. Your time has come, goodbye Kyuhyun.” he spoke as formally as possible, but Kyuhyun could sense the pity in his voice,
“Wait, Kibum!” Kyuhyun searched his mind for words. “I love you!” he tried.
Kibum made a face of disgust before promptly replying ‘ew’. But as he dissolved into indistinguishable particles, Kyuhyun could see him smiling.
Kyuhyun crawled into the safety of the dumpster, watching the sky darken and the potholes on the street splutter out lava. He pressed himself against the filthy wall, willing his heart to settle. He never expected for his afterlife to go down this way, he wanted a peaceful afterlife with clouds and angels and Donghae playing an over-sized harp.
His knees began to burn and Kyuhyun hissed before glancing at the rubbish beneath him and almost shrieking. The trash was envoloping itself in fire, and liquid pools of lava formed from the melted waste. More importantly, the lava was searing Kyuhyun’s skin. The lid of the dumpster began rattling as a loud cackle emitted from the sky.
Kyuhyun screamed as he was engulfed by flames.
- - -
“He’s stirring! Guys, he’s stirring!” Sungmin shook Kyuhyun’s shoulders, riling him from his state of semi-consciousness.
Kyuhyun opened his eyes wearily, his vision slowly focusing itself on Sungmin’s worried face staring fondly down at him. Kyuhyun reached out and stroked Sungmin’s chin, he could tell that the latter was immensely creeped out but was trying his best not to show it. “No facial hair...” commented Kyuhyun.
Sungmin smiled softly and ruffled Kyuhyun’s hair. “Yes Kyuhyun, no facial hair.” he answered, pretending as if the comment had made all the sense in the world to him. “The Paramedics are going to come soon, so just stay calm and relax.” Sungmin looked and sounded almost hysterical. But so did the people surrounding him. Kyuhyun recognised some of the earlier faces, which were once crying tears of anguish, now crying tears of relief. Victoria gave him a tiny wave to which Kyuhyun responded with an eye smile.
“Kyuhyun! Kyuhyun! Are you alive?” Donghae pushed his way through the crowd, landing on his knees beside Kyuhyun. “You’re alive.” his voice cracked at the last word. Kyuhyun noticed Donghae’s eyes rimmed red, and his heart shuddered involuntarily. .
Kyuhyun nodded weakly at him with lidded eyes. Donghae bit his lip, suppressing a sob, and instead squeezed Kyuhyun’s hand reassuringly. “It’s going to be fine. We’ve been through worse. So the ceiling collapsed and we thought you were dead, but you’re not dead, which is fantastic. We called the paramedics and stuff and they should be here soon and...”
Kyuhyun didn’t listen, he was staring intently at the corner of the room. His eyebrows furrowing as he distinguished the familiar figure.
“...so Changmin broke half the speakers in angst and- Kyuhyun are you listening to me?” asked Donghae.
Kyuhyun blinked up at him before propping himself up on his elbows. The effort made him wince, but he refused Donghae’s help when his arm reached out instinctively. Donghae sighed. “Kyuhyun, lie down. You’re going to-”
Kyuhyun wrapped one arm around Donghae’s neck as he struggled upwards to join their lips together. He could hear his surroundings quieten, and he was sure he could make out some suppressed squeals.
It wasn’t particularly romantic, as the amount of energy required to sit even remotely upright took the biggest toll on him. And not even five seconds in did he collapse on the floor, body weakened from exhaustion.
“Um.” Donghae spoke, evidently stunned.
“Ahem”
Kyuhyun and Donghae both turned to see a male Paramedic who was scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably. “Is he the-”
“What? Oh yes! That’s him! You should, you should save him now...” Donghae trailed of lamely as a blush spread across his cheeks.
The Paramedics lifted Kyuhyun up from the wreckage, placing him cautiously on a long stretcher. Hyukjae was arguing heatedly with the head Paramedic, persuading him to let him ride in the back with Kyuhyun. Or drive the ambulance. Kyuhyun couldn’t be too sure, because he was mouthing a ‘thank you’ to Kibum who was standing isolated in the corner of the room, returning the gesture with the first genuine smile Kyuhyun had seen on him in years.
- - -
Fin
a/n: Writing stories with no plot and other activities for a rainy day. Anyway, this was just a way for me to get back into my writing muse. I don't know what this is- but yeah. The purpose of this fic was just so I could write Kibum has a shifty hobo, which is completely canon, j'saying. I should have gave Kibum a goatee instead of Sungmin. Can Sungmin even grow facial hair? There's probably a million typos in here, seeing how I lost steam more than halfway through. Also, I suspect it might be a little incoherent.
Also, hands up if Kyuhyun and Kibum should have totally gotten together.
p.s: Look at me, using blockquote like a pro!