Protected Heart | RP with notskywalker

[asinthecity]

Tab pulled the sleeves of her hoodie down over her hands, and nestled closer to Luke on Riley's couch. She was about as close to him as she could get without actually sitting on top of him. And even then she was already starting to move so she could lay her legs over his lap. She'd fallen asleep not long after their call had ended, and when Luke

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[notskywalker]

Luke looked down at his lip. "No quite," he teased lightly and then turned his head to drop a kiss to the tip of her nose. He took her sleeve-covered hand and rubbed it softly in his. "I'll always come for you, cutie. You just have to ask," he said more seriously now.

[asinthecity]

Tab dropped her gaze as she settled her head against his shoulder. "I did ask. Asking is a huge thing for me." She blinked as she felt tears prick the backs of her eyes. "Really big."

[notskywalker]

Luke tucked his arms around her and cradling her securely against his chest. "I can be there if you don't ask, you know," he murmured. "I don't want to push you, but just know the offer is there if you suddenly wake up one morning and want to try something a little bit more. Until then, I'm always just a phone call away."

[asinthecity]

"I don't know what I want," she admitted as the tears started to spill over. "Not everything, anyway. I thought I did. I can't lose him. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have Riley. He says he'll be okay, but how do I know that? And you're just... you're amazing and I felt like I could call you, and you came. I've never really... there was always calling and then getting taken back to New York."

[notskywalker]

"Do you want to go back? I mean, I could drive you both back, but I don't think he'd cope too well with the trip, cutie. I heard him up the hall before. I felt tired just listening to it." Luke brushed her hair gently off her face and searched her eyes. "I know its hard to fathom, but he's crook because he's getting help to be better. Like I said, life has a way of being bollocks. You're doing a wonderful job with him, sweetheart. You know that, right? It's not easy by any means, but you're amazing."

[asinthecity]

"No, I don't want to go back. That's my point. Before I always felt all this pressure to get back to stuff. I missed you, but you came." Tab pressed her hand against her face and made a noise of frustration. She couldn't work out what to say to make him understand. She gave a shake of her head at his other question, and looked back up at him again. "If I'm doing such a wonderful job how come I feel like I'm failing him?"

[notskywalker]

Luke shook his head. "No pressure at all, cutie. Not this time. If you want to stay, you stay as long as you want. I can stay or I can come and go. The drive is nothing to me. The bar is in good hands. Consider me your personal bandaid. I can help the hurt a little bit but I can't take it away." He started to rub, small soothing circles on her back. "You feel like that because you love him and watching someone you love suffer is the hardest thing in the world to try and get a grip of. But you're far from failing him, Tab. You can't help him feel physically better just yet, but he knows you're here and he knows he's not alone. That's not failing him. That's just love. It was never meant to always be easy."

[asinthecity]

She took a hiccuping breath, and wiped at her cheeks with her sleeve-covered hand. "Can you stay for a little while, please? I need my bandaid. It just, it hurts so much. Every time I watch him, or hear him, it just hurts. And I think about how scared he is, and it makes me scared. I want him to be able to get through this, but how can I expect him to when I'd probably give up?"

[notskywalker]

"I'll stay as long as you need," Luke promised. He pushed forward just enough to reach a box of tissues from the coffee table and put them in his lap so he could take some and wipe at her cheeks. "It's okay to hurt, Lucky Charm. We have to hurt to begin to heal. Something like this isn't a quick process and it will probably be a rollercoaster for a little while yet. And you underestimate yourself. I know you're a tough little cookie in there. I have a feeling you're the main reason your brother has the strength to struggle through his. When tragedy happens, we have to use people around us like life-preservers to make it though and there is nothing wrong in needing to do that, okay?" He tucked his finger under her chin and gave her a tiny smile. "Okay?"

[asinthecity]

Tab licked at her lips and gave a nod. "Okay. I'm just not used to Riley not being that life-preserver. It was always me and him. And whenever someone tried to fit into that, it was just... it was bad. More than awkward. But you fit. It felt right to call you, and for you to be the one that's here. Benny's my best friend, but it wasn't him that I wanted to call."

[notskywalker]

"Lucky for me I knew from day one you came in two parts. It's no bother to me, cutie. None at all and I would never dream of trying to keep you from your brother. Hell, if you fall asleep and your brother needs help, I'll do what I can. I just want you to know you're not in this alone. It's life-changing, just like we talked about. But we can work to make sure it's not a negative life change. You watch. He'll soon start to feel better and get back on his feet and be the other half you know and love," Luke assured her. "And Benny's there for you. He just wants you to be protected."

[asinthecity]

"Why are you so perfect?" Tab asked as she laughed a little and rubbed her hand over her face. "You just get it. You get all of it. How did you understand so quickly? Don't get me wrong, I like that about you. I like it a lot. And I don't feel alone. I feel like if you're there to be my bandaid and to pick me up, then I'll be okay. That I can do this." She turned her face into him and reached up to hook her arm around his neck and hug him.

[notskywalker]

Luke smiled and shifted to pull her in to his lap. "Maybe it's just meant to be?" he suggested. "But its probably more because I've always just believe I'll end up wherever I'm supposed to be at any given time. I live life with an each day attitude and that's what makes me happy. You make me happy," he added.

[asinthecity]

"More of that Fate stuff, huh?" Tab pressed a kiss to his cheek and smiled back. "I used to think that way, but right now I can't decide if I'm supposed to look into the next five minutes, or the next five years. Riley going through this is making me think." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips as she tugged on a lock of his hair. "I do?"

[notskywalker]

"For now, take the five minutes, cutie. With a shock to the system like this, your brain chemicals are probably not working to their capacity. When the dust settles and things are a little more clear, then plan a little bit further in to the future. But don't ever believe thinking is a bad thing. It's not. It's healthy to think and to wonder and to want and need. Without any of that, we'd all be wandering around expecting someone else to call our life shots. Maybe now this has happened with your brother, your choice and priorities have changed, but it can be for the better. Just don't fear the change. Fear is the easy part." Luke smiled and ran his thumb along her lip. "Very much so."

[asinthecity]

"You could seriously give Yodalan a run for his money. He's always the one with the wise words, and good advice. I like it when you're the one giving the advice, though. And not just because I like hearing you talk," she told him with a soft smirk. "It just makes sense when you say it. I need all the sense I can get right now. My heads just like this massive swirl of white noise. Sometimes stuff comes through, sometimes it doesn't." Tab smiled as she flicked out her tongue against his thumb. "You make me happy, too."